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Friday, January 10, 2014

SHE WAS HOW OLD?


SHE WAS HOW OLD?
 
Just because I sometimes post about my wife in a not necessarily complimentary way, please don’t think that Mrs. Cranky is a dingbat, or screwy, or blond.  If she had her own blog she would make mincemeat outta me.  But she doesn’t so…

Anyway.

Tonight the testosterone step-crank and his fiancé were visiting for dinner.  Mrs. C was relating stories of when her kids were young.

“I only had to clean up vomit once, and it wasn’t even from any of my own kids.  Cathy Mugwump, Casey’s friend, they were in class together, was at our house on a sleep over.  Mrs. Mugwump had 14 kids and Cathy was sick.  She didn’t want her other kids to get sick so she sent Cathy over to our house…that bitch…”

“Why did you let her come over if she was sick?”

“Because I’m an idiot.  Anyway, right before bedtime Cathy projectile vomits all over the bedroom and I have to clean it all up…Yuck!”

And here is why I say my wife is a pip:

“Damn! How old was she?”

“Same age as Casey.”

“Ah…how old was Casey?”

“The same age as Cathy…they were in the same grade…jeeze, do you ever listen?”
Say good night Gracie.

15 comments:

  1. Yeah, pay attention doofus!

    I wonder if they were kin to the east Texas Mugwumps?

    S

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  2. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Well it made perfect sense to her. You gotta keep up.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

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  3. This sounds like many of the conversations I have at work each day. Apparently we are supposed to discern the facts thru telepathy or something! :-)

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  4. I like Mrs. Cranky so it all makes sense to me.

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  5. Dang I think I do that sometimes myself- which could be why some conversations leaves the hubby stumped. :/ But dang All I can think about after reading is poor Mrs Wugmump and 14 kids.

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  6. She's lucky she's only had to clean up vomit once!

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  7. I never have to clean up vomit because if I see it I also vomit. Pretty smart, hey?

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  8. I used to listen to George and Gracie on the radio.
    I have a daughter who only made it to the threshold of her bedroom door before vomiting. Much less cleaning than projectile, however.

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  9. Pair up Mrs. Cranky with my husband, and they could master the "Who's on first?" routine in one take, no rehearsal.

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  10. So of course, in Mrs. Cranky's defense, I'm scanning back through the post looking for the age that she must have told you and that you must have written as part of the conversation.

    Just call me Gracie, too.

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  11. Mrs. Cranky sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

    Ahhhh...I remember the projectile vomit and having to clean it up. I mentioned it to a co-worker once and he said he solved this problem by paying his kids $20 for every time they made it to the toilet before starting the projectile vomit.

    It's the craziest thing...it worked. Never had to clean up that stuff again.

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  12. I probably shouldn't say this, but those last few sentences definitely sound blonde to me.
    Mrs Crank doesn't know where I live does she?

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  13. My husband does this to me - he's the Mrs Cranky in this case. He has half the conversation in his head before we start.

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