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Monday, January 27, 2014

I HATE YOU TOO - a cranky re-run


This re-run for
is from January 2011

I have mentioned in several posts that Mrs. Cranky and I have not had a fight or an argument in over three years.  A fly on the wall would dispute this assertion. 

The simplest statement or slip up is liable to elicit a “Fuck You!” from Mrs. Cranky.  I am often called a jerk.  “I hate you” is a common rebuttal to any discussion or comment I may make.

“Fuck you too” or “I hate you right back” are retorts not left out of my arsenal. 

“Then”, you ask, “How can you claim you never fight with your wife?”  The answer is simple.  These nasty little conversations are not out of anger or hate.  Mrs. Cranky will tell me to go fuck myself, and I will respond “Right back attcha” because we can.

We were both in marriages where such comments would bring severe repercussions.  Mrs. C once used the F word in her marriage and the response apparently was painful and severe.  I never dared to speak to my ex with anything approaching aggressive language; the venom would have come back at me in a torrent I would not have been able to survive.  I had to bite my tongue if I wanted to avoid the head spinning green sputum “Exorcist” like violence my ex was capable of delivering.

Fifteen plus years of suppressing “I hate you” and “Go fuck yourself” have made the ability to now say these things cathartic.  Pent up anger needs release even if it is not real.

A typical discussion at the Cranky house might go like this:

“Where is my breakfast in bed?”

“It’s downstairs in the fridge where it is every morning…Jerk!”

“Some wife you are!  I hate you!”

“Fuck you and your breakfast too!”

“Fuck you too!  I hate you!”

“I hate you right back!”



“…Ah…was that good for you?”

“Yea, that was great, I always wanted to do that.”

“Me too.  You want anything while I’m downstairs?”

“Juice would be nice.”

“You got it.  Oh, and I hate you.”

“I hate you too.”


  1. Sometimes the second time around is far better than the first. Happened to hubby and I too. We don't say these kinds of things, but I get why you two do. Excellent.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  2. This sounds more like a comedy bit than a real exchange of emotions. Of course those in a relationship have to figure out what works. My Mrs. C. is quick to anger but it blows over quickly. I have a very long fuse but when I blow it isn't pretty. But we don't swear at each other.

  3. This post was just so sweet & romantic that it leaves me at a loss for words!!

  4. So, are you two taking your act on the road? "The Cranky's At The Apollo". :)


  5. Aww, sounds like there's lots o'love behind those "fuck yous" I'd say...

  6. The more one uses those words the less meaning or impact they have. So have at it, I say.

  7. It's rather sweet when "I hate you" means "I love you."

    When my sister and I were little, my Dad would tease us with "Geeze, you're so ugly!" It was followed up with a hug and a kiss and never once did we ever consider it anything but "I love you" or "You're beautiful to me."

  8. Some couples can fart in front of each other and some couples can't even say "fart" in front of each other. Some couples can toss around language in an offhand way and some relationships get bent out of shape if "damn" enters the room. You (apparently, after not having had a good one) have a good one. Tell your wife to go fuck herself for me.

  9. I am partial to sweet talk but we do what works for us.

  10. Thanks a lot Suldog, now I have to explain how I walked into a door...ouch...pass the frozen bag of peas.

  11. You silver-tongued jerk! Always sweet-talking the little woman.

  12. Val always has a great comment. Wish I'd said that.

  13. Sounds like my life now, and then Joe - it's good to get it out - even better when you know it's said with love.

  14. That wouldn't work in my house. lol

    Sounds like it's workin' for you and Mrs. Cranky.

    By the way, since you've used all the best words and phrases, what do you have for a real fight? :)