THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, June 9, 2013
STUPID HEADLINES 060913
STUPID HEADLINES 060913
It is time once
Who would have thunk it?
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made
up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
Some women can have orgasms during child birth, study
suggests – Well now I
understand why some women just keep having more…and you know who you are!
Breeze blamed: Gang rape defendant claims wind carried
DNA from beer can to condom – For
all you law students out there, this does not fall into the category of
drone pizza delivery– How much do you tip a drone?
'Emotionally disturbed' man stabs self on ‘Today’ show
plaza, police say – Well
maybe he was ‘Emotionally disturbed,’ but have you ever tried to watch “The
Rhode Island TV news crew attacked while reporting on
story about kindergarten party shooting – Those kindergarten parties always get out of hand!
Texas man flips out at car show, is carried away by
police screaming, “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!” – Dude, just change all your passwords to “sdrowssap.”
Woman attempting to live on nothing but water and
sunlight for 6 months – Woman,
Nevanna Shine, (who could make that up?) has so far lost 30 pounds and has a
severe case of sunburn.
After 'Trying to Buy Too Many iPhones'– Woman is now iRate! Tanker truck
full of Scotch whisky tips over and catches on fire in Woodbridge –
I wonder how good is the whisky that is shipped by a tanker?
Saudi Arabia's jobs problem: Not enough
executioners– The country needs to offer more college degrees in “Headchopping.”
Last week’s fake
Marriage counselors' success rate is 50% - Hmmm…kinda the same as the
Several people guessed the poop transplant, but believe
it or not, a poop transplant is a medical procedure:
transplant, fecal enema and human probiotic infusion (HPI). FMT involves
restoration of the colonic flora by introducing healthy bacterial flora through
infusion of stool, e.g. by enema, obtained from a healthy human donor.