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Sunday, June 9, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 060913


STUPID HEADLINES 060913

It is time once again for:

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Who would have thunk it?
 

 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

Some women can have orgasms during child birth, study suggests – Well now I understand why some women just keep having more…and you know who you are!

Breeze blamed: Gang rape defendant claims wind carried DNA from beer can to condom – For all you law students out there, this does not fall into the category of reasonable doubt.

Domino's tests drone pizza delivery How much do you tip a drone?

'Emotionally disturbed' man stabs self on ‘Today’ show plaza, police say – Well maybe he was ‘Emotionally disturbed,’ but have you ever tried to watch “The Today Show?”

Rhode Island TV news crew attacked while reporting on story about kindergarten party shooting – Those kindergarten parties always get out of hand!

Texas man flips out at car show, is carried away by police screaming, “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!” – Dude, just change all your passwords to “sdrowssap.”

Woman attempting to live on nothing but water and sunlight for 6 months – Woman, Nevanna Shine, (who could make that up?) has so far lost 30 pounds and has a severe case of sunburn.

Woman Tasered After 'Trying to Buy Too Many iPhones' – Woman is now iRate!

Tanker truck full of Scotch whisky tips over and catches on fire in Woodbridge – I wonder how good is the whisky that is shipped by a tanker?
Saudi Arabia's jobs problem: Not enough executioners – The country needs to offer more college degrees in “Headchopping.”


Last week’s fake headline was:

Survey: Marriage counselors' success rate is 50% - Hmmm…kinda the same as the divorce rate.

Several people guessed the poop transplant, but believe it or not, a poop transplant is a medical procedure:
Stool transplant, fecal enema and human probiotic infusion (HPI). FMT involves restoration of the colonic flora by introducing healthy bacterial flora through infusion of stool, e.g. by enema, obtained from a healthy human donor.


Only one person guessed the fake headline:
Kellie @ http://delightfullyludicrous.blogspot.com/ correctly deduced “The marriage counselor one, there's no way their success rate is that high ;P”





11 comments:

  1. Heck!
    I'd guessed that the stool transplant wasn't fake

    I just forgot to tell anyone

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Texas man flips out at car show, is carried away by police screaming, “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!”"

    OMG, this could have been me! (But it wasn't.)

    I always knew those "keyless entry systems" would come back to haunt us.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG! i don't know if i can even take a guess this week as i'm totally grossed out thinking about the fecal transplant. good lord!

    i'm gonna go with iphones.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think it's “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!” I think you should change your password to "Incorrect". There would be nothing to remember. You could type in anything & the computer would tell you your password is incorrect!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. These are good! How do you find this stuff!

    One of them, I jsut heard on the news, but I won't say what it is for the sake of the other readers.

    I'm stuck between the DNA condom episode and the drone delivering pizza. Hmmm... I think I'll say the testing of the drone delivering pizza is the fake.

    Gotta remember to come back for the answer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wondered about that drone pizza delivery. I guess the size of the tip depends on whether or not you think it's armed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are amazing finding these things.....you have no idea how you brighten my Sundays......mmmwah.
    That said, I will timorously enter the fray choosing the Domino drone.

    However, I really wish it were the Passwords so I could send you a medal for making up the funniest thing I may have ever read.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm picking the Breeze Blame as false. Since when do those thoughtful, health-conscious gang-rapists wear condoms?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yay, I won! I like this game :D

    Of this week's, I'm going to guess the one about the guy yelling "too many passwords".

    ReplyDelete
  10. Maybe just a tad too easy, Big Joe. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. woman tasered... yes, no, maybe so....

    ReplyDelete