NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Monday, June 17, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 061613


STUPID HEADLINES 061613

It is time once again for:

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY (actually one day late)

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.
 
That Darn Obamacare!!
 

 

 
Too much deer pee changing northern forests – Maybe hunters should stop flushing them out.

Prominent Texas doctor accused of poisoning lover's coffee – You have to wonder, what did her lover’s coffee ever do to her?

Supreme Court ends torture suit against Rumsfeld – If the suit was so uncomfortable, why didn’t he just take the damn thing off?

New Jersey woman mistaken for prostitute, beaten at Florida hotel – Well, NJ…prostitute…it’s an easy mistake to make.

Relax Jersey Girls it’s a joke!  We all know that Jersey Girls are the BEST!

West Virginia woman freaks out over bad Drivers license picture, spills diet coke all over DMV worker – I think maybe the bad picture was due to the wacko in front of the lens!

Bloomberg to discuss prepping New York City for warming world – NY Mayor suggests a $100 tax on a pack of cigarettes to pay for air conditioning Manhattan.

Minnesota woman saves deer with plastic jar stuck on its head – I have no idea how putting a plastic jar on a deer’s head will save it, but it can only add to that pee problem.


Tiger Wood’s ex-wife hates new girlfriend Well if she has a girlfriend that may well explain why Tiger cheated on her.

Just Explain It: What Is Déjà Vu?It is the feeling that something that happened has happened before.  It is the feeling that something that happened has happened before.

70-Year-Old Saudi Man Divorces His 15-Year-Old Wife
The age difference was really not that bad, 15 is kind of like 75 in goat years.

Calif. Husband Sells $23,000 Ring for $10Make that California Ex-husband!

Just Explain It: What Is Déjà Vu?It is the feeling that something that happened has happened before.  It is the feeling that something that happened has happened before.

New Jersey town bans saggy pants on boardwalk – I only visit boardwalks that have pants pulled up to their railing.

School district won't expunge Pop-Tart gun from boy's record – Oh no! Not his permanent record!  Who will ever hire someone who as an eight year old boy nibbled a pop-tart into the shape of a gun?




Who owns 'Happy Birthday?' Lawsuit seeks return of millions – I’m looking to copyright “Nanya, nanya, na, na” and “ olli, olli, in free” then hang around playgrounds and collect royalties.


Last week’s fake headline was:

Texas man flips out at car show, is carried away by police screaming, “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!” – Dude, just change all your passwords to “sdrowssap.”

          We had two winners:

                            Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous @ http://delightfullyludicrous.blogspot.com/ said...

Yay, I won! I like this game :D

Of this week's, I'm going to guess the one about the guy yelling "too many passwords". 

Two weeks in a row!  Congratulations Kellie – Go visit her blog it is always entertaining.

                         fishducky @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/ said...

I think it's “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!” I think you should change your password to "Incorrect". There would be nothing to remember. You could type in anything & the computer would tell you your password is incorrect!!

And she didn’t Google it this week!  Check Fran's posts, always funny!

         This was from Scott at Flight Plan:

                            Lowandslow @ http://lowandslow01.blogspot.com/ said...

"Texas man flips out at car show, is carried away by police screaming, “TOO MANY PASSWORDS!!”"

OMG, this could have been me! (But it wasn't.)

I always knew those "keyless entry systems" would come back to haunt us.

Was this a guess Scott?  Doesn’t matter, Scott is disqualified as the fake post is based on HIM – A car show going, Password hating, Texan!  So don’t visit Scott’s posts even though they are always very funny, or thought provoking and sometimes even both.

8 comments:

  1. i'm going with DMV photo this week. however, i read that the $23k ring was actually sold for $5 so maybe you're trying to sneak one over on us!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The way things are going, any of those could be fake.

    Honestly.

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  3. "70-Year-Old Saudi Man Divorces His 15-Year-Old Wife "

    So who's gonna drive him to the liquor store?

    S

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think Tiger Woods' ex is too classy to admit to hating Tiger's new girlfriend so I'll pick that one, even though I don't seem to be very good at this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. OK, You have us coming in from left field this week. I'll guess de-ja-vu was nobody's headline, and I'm not messing with the fancy punctuation. I've actually read a lot of these--I think.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it's the West Virginia woman with the Deet Coke, because I don't think they drink the diet version there!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I WOULD pick the $100 cigarette tax, but I think Bloomberg is wacky enough to come up with that.

    I'm going with the West Virginia Diet Coke debacle. However...

    At first I thought, perhaps, this was a thinly-veiled vignette about ME. But I'm sure you would never, ever, refer to me as a wacko. Unless you've seen my actual driver's license photo. Besides, a Diet Coke is a terrible thing to waste on a DVM worker. And of course, I'm not from West Virginia.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I got the best laugh from the Deja Vus, but going with the POP tart gun story.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!