Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
What, you ask, does a cranky old man do on New Years Eve? You didn’t ask? Well I’ve got nothing else to post about, so I will tell you anyway.
This cranky old man does exactly what he did on most New Year’s Eves as a cranky young man. Zippity Doo Da!
Mrs. Cranky and I will have Chinese take-out and watch football and assorted junk on TV. We will watch the ball drop, say Whoop-Te-Do, kiss, and then change the channel from “Rocking New Years Eve” to the “Ladies Killing Husbands” station on our channel 171.
I don’t hate NYE, I hate the idea that NYE is supposed to be a big party and the most fun night of the year.
You cannot force fun.
Back in the days when I generally drank myself into a controlled stupor every night, I considered NYE as amateur night. Parties would be filled with idiots who felt they had to get plastered this one night of the year.
I hate once a-year-drunks. People who haven’t been bombed often enough to know that they are not entertaining, funny or cute. They repeat themselves, sweat, mumble, giggle and are very annoying. They sing, dance and grab you to have you dance with them. They are just obnoxious.
NYE parties are so loud you cannot hear yourself think, and everyone expects to have the best time of their life. I never once enjoyed a big NYE party. If I am expected to have a good time, I seldom do.
I guess I have never liked any big noisy crowds. If I had to celebrate, I would probably enjoy a quiet bar with quiet drunks who know how to control their inebriation. Watch TV, have a drink, explain how corporations are controlling the world, have a drink, explain how big Pharm could eradicate all diseases except there is no money in that, have a drink, bitch about the Giants offensive line, have a drink, count down from 10 to “Happy New Year”, call a cab and go home.
Well Mrs. C has maybe three Kahlua and milk drinks a year, so it will be stay at home again for me, and that is just fine. It is just another night, no special reason to have fun and make noise.
Life is good at the Cranky home every night.