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Thursday, December 12, 2019

Advertising, What they really mean

Advertising, What they really mean

Shopping for Christmas is now at full speed ahead.  Advertisers want your money.  They will make claims.  These claims sound very enticing.  These claims are lies; lies I tell you. 

As a public service we (me) at “The Cranky Old Man” blog offer these explanations for what advertising claims really mean.

50% OFF - Half of the original price that no one in their right mind would pay because it was listed at three times what it is worth!

FREE ESTIMATE – We won’t charge you for telling you how much something costs.  Isn’t that nice?  No charge to try and have you buy a service. 

When I ask for an estimate I advise the salesman that I expect $15 to reimburse me for my time allowing them to try and sell me something.   Eventually we settle on no cost to anyone.

SURPRISINGLY AFFORDABLE – Expensive as Hell unless you are wealthy, then it is surprisingly affordable.

LEASE FOR ONLY $140 a month – Often claim from car dealers.  $140 from a car dealer means “You just missed out on that offer, but for $375 a month I have a deal for you.”

EASY PAYMENTS – Easy if you have a lot of money.

NO INTEREST FOR A YEAR – Unless you do not pay in full after one year, then you owe all the interest for the full year.

NO PAYMENTS FOR THE FIRST YEAR – The price of your item will reflect this come-on.  Kind of like the no interest for a year...the interest is more than baked in.

GET A SECOND (piece of crap) for FREE – Simply pay more for extra shipping and handling than the item is worth.

Money Back Guarantee If Not Satisfied – Just try and prove you are not satisfied, you will be jumping through hoops.

Double Your Money Back If Not Satisfied – See above…Hoops not provided.

Buy While Supplies Last – Purchase now before people find out what a piece of crap this is and we are out of business.

Only $99.99 – Cost us about $3.98 to produce.  Anything above $99.99 is “Surprisingly Affordable.”

That concludes this “Cranky Public Service.” Shop carefully!


  1. Yep, I think you explained their systems pretty well! The ones that I avoid are at the grocery store for chicken; buy 1, get 2 free, and then you find the price per pound is $5.99 so even though you are getting 2 free, you are still paying more per pound than other stores like Wal-Mart for sometimes the same quality of meat. However, I do believe I got a good deal on my Instant Pot I just got from Amazon on Cyber Monday. It was listed at $139; I had seen it at Wal-Mart for $119. But Cyber Monday's price was 74% off so that brought it down to about $69, then I had $23 in credit from using Amazon's credit card that accumulates cash rewards (and I pay it off monthly) so I applied that to the purchase so I got the Instant Pot for $46. That was a bargain (I hope).


  2. This reminds me of a Kohl's coupon . . . If you can read the fine print.

  3. Supplies never last. No Payments for the First Year are for those people who count on winning the lottery during that year, or on the apocalypse wiping out their debt.

  4. Thank you for the hints. I shall lock away my purse until the sales are well and truly over.

  5. I have a good reason for avoiding the sales.... I can't get there. Think of the money I save.

  6. I bought a pot steamer/double broiler in WM in October, it was a name brand (surprised to find it there) Paid thirty dollars, First of December same pot cost fifty; In January found this same type pot on a clearance aisle for Fifty. so Yep.

  7. They do play with our minds don't they. I always suspected that free shipping means the shipping is all ready built into the price. Sigh.

  8. Some deals are worth passing on and I do just that.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend. 🎄🎄🎄

  9. I always laugh at the "but wait! there's more!!", which usually means that all you have to do is pay shipping & handling for the free second and third item. Add that up and you notice that you've covered the cost of everything including their profits. Must work though, because they are always on tv!

  10. Thank you for the translation! Most people on my list get cash, they can then go get whatever piece of junk they want and can afford.

  11. My shopping is 99.9% done. That means I still have a crap load to do....