STUPID HEADLINES SUNDAY (on a Monday) 061619
What Does
Vodka From Sheep Taste Like – BAAAAD! (Sorry, had to do it, it’s the Tourette’s.)
Rolls-Royce,
Aston Martin, Lamborghini car prices plunge – Damn! I just took a three-year lease
on a Honda.
New York
woman assaults subway rider with infant strapped to chest – If you’ve ever been hit with an
infant strapped to your assaulter’s chest, you know how painful that can be!
2
giraffes at Florida wildlife park suffer 'instantaneous' deaths after lightning
strike – This is
seriously very sad, but it is also why I was always instructed that if in a
thunderstorm, never seek shelter under a giraffe.
Meghan
McCain dismisses Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Falchuk's part-time living situation as
'rich people stuff' – It’s also, ‘None of your gad darn business stuff’.
Engineer
ignored warning signs hours before deadly FIU footbridge collapse – This is why C+ should not be a
passing grade for an engineer.
Cheerios,
Nature Valley cereals contain Roundup ingredient, study finds – On the plus side, I almost never find
any weeds in my Cheerios.
Michigan
mosque leader says 'wife beating' is a way to remind a woman she 'misbehaved' –
Probably not very
good advice, certainly not in this country!
Honda
lawnmower reaches 100 mph in 6 seconds – Yeah, but how does it corner?
Fans wait
10 hours to ride new Harry Potter roller coaster – After waiting 10 hours for the
three-minute ride, thrill seekers claim it was well worth the wait. I wouldn’t wait ten hours if they were
handing out five-pound bars of gold.
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK
A police
officer's heartwarming surprise for a bullied child – A case of Good Cop/Good Cop.
Stranger than fiction has never been more true, I guess.
ReplyDelete"I wouldn’t wait ten hours if they were handing out five-pound bars of gold." OK ... what if it was chocolates? You would wait in a line for that, wouldn't you?
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
You had me when you cracked that first one, hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteWe live in a wacky world for sure.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day and week, Joe. ♪♫♪♫
0-100 in 6 seconds on a lawnmower? I wanna know how good the brakes are. Coming soon to a lawn near you - the NASCAR lawnmower division!
ReplyDeleteAnd you should never hire 'engineers' who graduated from the Bubba Gump Shrimp Factory and Engineering School; that's about all I have to say about that. . .
All were head shakers and your comments really funny but I cracked up at your comment of no weeds in your Cheerios. There is always a bright side--we hope.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to ask...... can a passenger just open an emergency exit? If so isn't that the easiest and best way for a terrorist to bring down a plane?
ReplyDeleteYou find the best stuff, and i'd wait for a bar of gold, i think, but not a roller coaster.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe anyone would wait that long for an amusement park ride..heck, folks complain if they have to wait an extra half hour for their surgery to begin. And another thing...if a Michigan mosque leader ever tried to give me a smack for misbehaving...which I do frequently..he'd better bring his lunch because it's gonna be a fight. (That's because us Ohio folks don't take kindly to Michigan folks..just sayin')
ReplyDeleteMy 13-year-old self appreciates the cop smelling crack in the bathroom. I will have to switch from my Nature Valley granola bars to the Nature Trails brand at Save A Lot.
ReplyDeleteOhhh, that feel good story is the best! <3 - As for that 10 hour wait for some stupid ride. No thanks and not even when I was younger. At Cedar Pointe in Ohio they used to have signs for their rides that read, "After this mark is a two hour wait." We never stood in line for that. People are ridiculous...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the headline laughs but what a lovely story to follow. Well done to those police officers for making a stand for that child - it could be life changing for him. When I left my career in 2005, I retrained and studied with Open University to work with marginalised children who had emotional difficulties. Bullying is one of the most damaging assaults a child can suffer - and the smallest of actions by adults can make such massive differences to the child, Bullying by exclusion is one of the most damaging kinds there is
ReplyDeleteWe were at Universal just a few weeks ago and passed on the Harry Potter ride. I'd prefer to ride that Honda lawnmower!
ReplyDelete