STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY 063019
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Nazi
soldiers used performance-enhancing 'super-drug' in World War II – The UN has declared all their
victories forfeited.
San
Francisco becomes 1st major US city to ban e-cigarettes – It is, however, still OK to shit on
their sidewalks.
Betting
on Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest denied in New Jersey – Apparently, Jersey legislators think
“all the fixin’s” means the contest is rigged.
Rise of
mental illness worldwide tied to austerity, inequality, insecurity, UN report
says – I did not
know that austerity, inequality and insecurity were new phenomena.
New
Jersey fisherman wrangles large shark in the middle of the beach – Telegram…Candygram…Paperboy…LANDSHARK!!
Massachusetts
residents see 'tornado of poop' – This is worse than “Sharknado!”
Man needs
chopstick surgically removed from hand after attempting beer bottle opening trick
– I can’t even eat
rice with chopsticks and this dude can open beer cans with them…oh wait, he
can’t.
Snake
slithering on moving truck is no match for windshield wipers – Oh come on headline writers…windshield
“VIPERS” that’s a slam dunk. “Truck
has problem with windshield vipers” or “Wipers no match for vipers”
or “Wipers swipe Vipers, scared driver needs diapers!”
What is
Joe Biden’s net worth? – I have nothing against Joe Biden, but why would his net be worth any more
than anyone’s net?
Texas
woman banned from Walmart after eating half a cake, demanding to pay half-price
– Almost makes
sense, except she wanted to pay half price for the half she didn’t eat.
FEEL GOOD STORY of the WEEK:
Baseball
legend Albert Pujols takes the jersey off his back for young fan with Down
syndrome – I Always thought Albert was special,
this confirms it!
Tornado of poop!!!!! Now that is scary sh**.
ReplyDeleteYou can get a tornado of poop in San Francisco. Lots of used needles too, but no e-cigs or straws. Logic. They don't have any logic there.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ♪♫♪♫
I'm a little amazed that people might have wanted to bet on a hot dog eating contest but not really all that surprised.
ReplyDeleteOf course the lady had to taste the cake, make sure it was good enough for her party. Some people boggle my mind.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Sunday!
The San Francisco sidewalk sh*t made me snort, as did the NJ shark in the middle of the beach. I saw the Pujols article yesterday. Pujols used to be OURS! I mean, the Cardinals'.
ReplyDeleteHave heard of a woman who fell in her hospital room, rang for help over and over. Finally called for an EMT, who came and solved the injury. I always wondered if she checked herself out and then into a better hospital.
ReplyDeleteOf course, it is San Francisco.
I know if someone falls in our hospital parking lot or sidewalk we have to call EMS to bring them in. Not sure why. I can't figure out the workings of the criminal mind or hospital regulations. When it's my week at our endoscopy unit I see a tornado of poop along with a hurricane of poop, a thunderstorm of poop..and they pay me to do it! I've never had to remove chopsticks from any appendages but could write a book about other things I've removed from other "places" in the body. Perhaps I've worked too long in surgery?
ReplyDeleteAlways love your comments. Those surveys crack me up. Sound good till you see who ran them. "Coffee is now good for your heart." Oops, survey was done by the coffee companies.
ReplyDeleteOmgosh. I had to look up the tornado of poop story. Absolutely disgusting. The snake on the windshield??? Holy smokes! That was crazy!
ReplyDeleteThe Germany actually invented amphetamine. That's how the were able to accomplish so much.... Also why many of them were psychotic during WWII.
ReplyDeleteNazi leaders in World War II distributed methamphetamine to soldiers in a tablet form called Pervitin. It also started being sold to the German public in 1938, and the use of over-the-counter meth was relatively commonplace by this point. Some of the ways Pervitin was marketed was as an anti-depression treatment, and of course as a pill that would magically create alertness.
Tornado of poop? And this was NOT in Florida?
ReplyDelete