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Monday, June 10, 2019

COURT TV

COURT TV
WHAT WOMEN AND MEN REMEMBER

This re-run is from June 2012

Based on my extensive observation of reality TV judge shows, I have concluded that women remember details, men remember shit.  Women particularly remember details when an event affects them emotionally. 


Judge Judy: When did your wife catch you with this other women?


Husband: It was around November.


Wife (interrupting): It was October 18th your honor…Thursday…at 1AM.

Judge Alex: Mr. Smith, you say your girl friend gave you money to fix the car as a gift.  How much did it cost to fix the car?

Dude: Ah…around one thousand dollars.


Girl friend (interrupting): It was a loan your honor and it was one thousand two hundred and twelve dollars…and 87 cents.  It was on a Tuesday…April 12th…at 4PM…

Judge Karen: Sir, where were you when the plaintiff said you bumped into her car?

Dude: I was headed north bound on Main at the corner of Elm and Pine.

Lady (interrupting): Your honor…It was west bound, Main does not run north to south…and it was on the corner of Beeker Avenue and Elm…it was December 4th…Friday…12:06PM…I was wearing a green skirt and a white blouse.

Judge Marylyn Milian: Mr. Smith…how long were you and the defendant seeing each other before you decided to move in together.


Dude: It was about six weeks your honor.


Lady (interrupting): Your honor it was 47 days…7 hours…and 22 minutes.  It was on a Thursday.  It was a cloudy day. 

Women also always act as if the man’s lack of knowledge of detail is an indicator of his guilt.

Judge Judy: Sir, how often do you see your daughter?

Dad: Once a week and every other weekend your honor.


Mom: Your honor, he doesn’t even know our daughters shoe size!


Judge Joe Brown: Now Mr. O’Brian could you describe the vehicle that forced you to pull into Mrs. Brown’s lane and require her to take evasive precautionary action which due diligence was clearly necessary in this particular situation and resulted in the damage to both objects of transportation.


Dude:  What? (Judge Joe Brown will always use seven words when one will do.)


Judge Joe Brown: Did you see the car that caused the accident?


Dude:  Oh, it was a two door blue Lexus.


Lady (interrupting): It was mint green your honor…with a black pin stripe! Judge Joe Brown, he doesn’t even know it was a BMW!


Women not only remember minutia, they save records of EVERYTHING.


Judge Judy: Sir did you promise to repay your then girlfriend, or do you contend she gave you the money?


Dude: It was a gift your honor.


Ex-girlfriend: Your honor I have text messages saying it was a loan, I have a voice message saying he would repay the loan and I have a napkin with his signature guaranteeing he would repay the loan.


Guys just admit:
It was not a gift, you were seeing someone else, you stole the cell phone, you meant to hit her, you trashed the apartment, you are a drunk, you burned the couch because you smoke dope, and you never intended to call her back.  Oh, and you don’t bathe, you fart a lot, and you never held a job in your life.


OR


Stay out of TV Courts!

23 comments:

  1. Court TV is most interesting at times. Good for a laugh or two, but I don't want to be on that show. Just saying.

    Have a fabulous day. ♪♫♪♫

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  2. So true. I've gotten caught up watching Judge Judy, Peoples Court and Hot Bench. My husband can't stand them, but I find them entertaining and informational. They're just funny.

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  3. I tend to remember a lot... might not be enough of a real dude. This was a good one nonetheless.

    And if you ask me what I was listening to when something (anything) happened), I'll get it right every time.

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  4. I would agree, except with a lady knowing it was westbound, and the names of the streets. At least THIS lady doesn't know her directions. I'm more likely to describe the houses or businesses on that corner, and maybe their pet on the porch, or car in the driveway.

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  5. I notice that if I bring out my camera to capture a moment at a family function, or social gathering, most cringe and say they hate to have their picture taken. Yet people will go on a show like Judge Judy or Dr. Phil and hang out their crazy lives just to be on TV.

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  6. this is hilarious.
    You are right about women remembering everything. It drives my husband crazy when I correct him with details about the event. You'd think after 47 years he would know this.

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  7. Hahahahahahaha. Omgosh. Exactly the way they are but I love Judge Judy. She's my fave. :)

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  8. I think women can also multi task better than me too. Must be the way we are wired :) I like to watch the court shows when I can; always a good entertainment value.

    betty

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  9. I remember telling my son, "if you don't want to end up in jail, don't do the things that will take you there"
    I used to watch Judge Judy and sometimes a TV show called Night court which was always funny.

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  10. I haven't seen a court show for a while but I do remember (!) how the females were more accurate than men. Hilarious!

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  11. I'll have to check with my wife before commenting on this post.

    God bless.

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  12. So true, on TV and in real life. My husband can attest to that.

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  13. So funny! My oldest used to love to watch Judge Judy when she was a middle schooler. And I have to say that I do remember SO many more details than my husband ever does.

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  14. well that's EXACTLY how it goes down in my house. :-)

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  15. Think you are right. I may not recognize someone I just met nor can pick them out of a line up, but I do remember the conversation verbatim.

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  16. From prehistoric days to the present, the male brain has been focused on one thing only - can this kill me, or can I kill it? Everything else is just details. . .

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  17. The only man i know who remembers everything is Grandpa, and that's because he writes everything down!

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  18. That's so funny and, pretty accurate I'd say! I LOVE Judge Judy although what we get over here are probably quite old episodes - haven't seen it for awhile. But what you observe is so true, men often come across at quite hapless while the women can be sharp as razors. And if the woman has been wronged in other ways, watch out, 'hell hath no fury' and all that! Bless us every one😍

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  19. Yep! I do even feel sorry for some of those guys, even if they're probably guilty. Women always have the goods on them - cataloged, alphabetized, in order, camera ready!
    But yeah, "enough already," on the "it was a gift" spiel! It MAY have been then, honey, but once you cheat on her, it's a LOAN!

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  20. this is so amusing dear Joe

    i agree that women can remember dates so well as my mom was so accurate about dates and times and my father had quite tough time because of her habit

    we saw such show for few year (native language ) it was fun to watch real people and their conflicts though sometimes it was stressful when awkward decisions were made

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  21. Well, that makes it official. I'm not a real women.

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