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Thursday, August 9, 2018

Freezer Panic


Freezer Panic



I had a sudden hankering for a grilled cheeseburger tonight.  Looking through the freezer I found tons of stuff that my almost-hoarder-wife just cannot part with.  There were frozen bagels from 1998, multiple boxes of unknown products from Omaha Meats that are at least one year old and containers of frozen bricks of what might be a sauce of some sort.  Some stuff was wrapped in foil, then stuck in a plastic baggy and not labeled. 

I did not find any hamburgers.

I was a little miffed having to unload this Jenga puzzle of frozen crap and still not finding what I wanted.  Somehow, I have to convince Mrs. C that even frozen stuff goes bad after several years.

After shoving all that probably never to be prepared frozen stuff back into the freezer, I trudged outside to the freezer in the garage where I was sure we had hamburgers.

I found the burgers, but they were in the process of thawing.

WTH?

The freezer was not freezing.  Did I panic?  Damn betcha I did, the garage freezer is chock full of steaks, chops, bacon, sausage, and chicken.  All the expensive stuff is kept in the garage freezer while the inside freezer is full of frozen crap.

I know!  That’s what I said.

I removed the expensive stuff in the non-freezing freezer and made room for it in the functioning freezer by dumping frozen crap that based on experience we will never consume.  I didn’t really dump it, God forbid…Mrs. C would have a panic attack.  I jammed some in the fridge and some in the non-freezing freezer.

I also turned the non-freezing freezer temperature control to “Cold as a witch’s tit” and banged the door a few times hoping to…hell, I don’t know, but slamming stuff sometimes is a magic fix.

I grilled my burgers and later went to check on the garage freezer.  Apparently, my technical fix worked, at least for now, so crisis averted.

I do plan to have a talk with Mrs. C when she gets home from work about clearing the freezer of frozen question marks.  

Actually, that’s a bad idea, better to say nothing until she asks,

“Where are my frozen bagels from last decade?”

I may be a jerk, but I'm not stupid.

17 comments:

  1. I think the very first thing you need to do is get the garage freezer checked out. You don't want to risk losing all those steaks etc.
    You are correct about even frozen stuff being no god after a certain time, things left too long get 'freezer burn' and lose flavour. There is an instruction book that comes with any freezer, including the one inside the fridge, which usually contains a chart saying how long foods can be kept frozen for. Fish for example, should only be kept frozen for three months I think. Beef can be kept frozen for quite a bit longer, but the longer stuff is kept, the less flavour it will have.
    And why isn't the frozen stuff labelled? Is the stuff in the garage freezer labelled? Contents and date of freezing?

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  2. These things might be a nightmare to you but they serve to entertain your readers. So glad the big freezer is working again.

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  3. Sounds like my freezer! I'm now surfing the net for a freezer with the setting "cold as a witch's tit" - haven't found one yet. They're so unimaginative these freezer manufacturers.

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  4. This is too funny. I was recently (last Monday night) chastised for throwing out things someone else wanted to save -- an unopened container of cottage cheese. First of all, cottage cheese has no business being in my refrigerator at all. Secondly, it had been there taking up needed space since sometime last winter. And third, I draw the line at cottage cheese that has developed a head of green fuzzy hair.

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    1. Olga, you are much too picky!!

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    2. Unopened, yet growing mould? huh.

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  5. You are so lucky! There is nothing more disappointing that to find your freezer completely thawed(and smelling). Good-bye steaks, burgers, and berries :(

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  6. Good thing she never reads your blog .... mostly.

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  7. Bwahahahahahahaha. I can see all this unfolding. I can hear all your comments.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  8. Phew, a back up freezer, what luck. I kind of wait till a long power outage to clean out my fridge/ freezer but sadly we have had perfect power supply for two years. No telling what is in there that needs to go.

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  9. You might let her know what happened, that the freezer in the garage may be on the way out (or not, it could be that it was not shut quite all the way, but she doesn’t have to know that). Ask her if there’s a way you could make do with one, only keeping the most expensive and best things in the indoor freezer, and using the garage freezer for leftovers and other things that no one would cry over much if it went bad.

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  10. Oh dear! Reminds me my spare refrigerator died last year so if the one in the house dies I’ll have no place to put frozen stuff. Hoarding in the freezer? That’s an interesting concept.

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  11. I'm guilty of a hoarder freezer, but only due to laziness. I could part with anything inside, should Hick decide to clear it out. HA HA HA HA! As IF that would ever happen.

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  12. Hahahahahahaha!!! I used to have that freezer but now I have my trusty freezer marker and mark everything. You just never remember all the crap you wrap up and toss in there thinking you'll use it next week or the next decade. :) I'm glad you "fixed" your other freezer.

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  13. I'm a freezer hoarder, too...Last year, as Hurricane Irma approached and they told us we might be without power for days, I was eating down the valuable contents of the freezer as we were waiting for the storm. In other words, I splurged on a lot of ice cream.

    Luckily, our power was only out for about 12 hours, and nothing in the freezer was lost.

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