Wednesday, September 7, 2016
My wife is not difficult to live with, but she does require some adjustments. She can be a bit quirky.
For instance; scissors.
We have a pair of scissors in every room of the house. Apparently you never know when you might need scissors RIGHT AWAY!
In the kitchen we have two pairs of scissors. One pair is only for cutting poultry, one pair is for paper and stuff. When I needed scissors to cut suckers out of my tomato plants, I quickly found out that vegetation does not count as stuff.
“Don’t use those scissors for yard work! We have a pair in the garage for yard work.”
I used the garage scissors for my tomatoes, and then put those scissors away in MY barbeque stuff kitchen drawer instead of putting them back in the garage. I was going to use these scissors often and the garage is a long way from my tomato plants.
The other day Mrs. C asks, “Where are the garage scissors?”
“In my BBQ drawer, I use them all the time.”
“They belong in the garage; I need them there.”
So now the scissors I use almost every day for plants right outside our back door reside in the garage 20 yards away, through two doors and I have to first go outside to get to them.
The other day while searching frantically through every drawer in the house looking for my lost golf GPS thingy, I found a third pair of scissors in the kitchen. These scissors were buried underneath assorted stuff. I unburied them and thought great, now there are three scissors in the kitchen. One for poultry, one for paper and stuff, and a third pair for cutting the suckers out of my tomato plants.
Mrs. C just opened that drawer today.
“What are these scissors doing out in the open?”
“I found them the other day, I unburied them so I can use them on the tomatoes.”
“Not these scissors, they are good scissors, you’ll ruin them…that’s why I hid them!”
“Well what are they for then? You already have two pairs of scissors in the kitchen and a pair in every other room in the house?”
“Never mind. They are the good scissors and not for you to use.”
“So along with the “Good Towels” that we are not allowed to use and the “Sea Shell” soap the we are not allowed to use; we now have the “Good Scissors?”
“Yes! Don’t be a jerk. Leave them alone.”
I’m going to buy my own pair of scissors and put them in the BBQ drawer, and no one else better use them!
It is easier to adjust than to figure her out.