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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Map Quest…Siri-ously?

Map Quest…Siri-ously?
Saturday we visited my son, DIL and two crankettes.  It was my son’s birthday the week before but we couldn’t make it so we went this week instead. 
It turned out both crankettes had a flag football game that my son was coaching.  I said that I would like to see them play.  That was before I learned the game was at 9:00 am.
To make it worse, the game was an additional 30 minutes south of my son’s house which is an hour from us.  Why 6 and 7-year-olds don’t play around the corner from home I don’t know.
In order to make it to the game we had to leave by 7:00 am.  That may not seem bad to many of you morning people; you night owl, retired people will understand. 
We did not know how to get to the field.  No problem; Mrs. C went to Map Quest and printed out directions.
I hate Map Quest directions.  They tell you stuff like this:
Take Rt. 287 south to exit 23   17 miles
Make a rt. Onto Riddly road.   75 feet.
Turn left on Orchard Drive.    25 feet.
Make a slight left onto THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE.  18 miles.
I wish they could program the directions to say:
Take exit 23 off rt. 287 and follow the signs for THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE.
Anyway, we followed Map Quest directions until we got into Pennsylvania from NJ.  The Map Quest directions were pissing me off so I decided to use SIRI on my phone for backup.  Mrs. C hates SIRI…I think she’s jealous.
Both Map Quest and SIRI were in sync until we reached Possum Puddle Pike.  MQ said go left, SIRI said go right.  We went left and ignored SIRI’s request to “Make a U-turn” and constant cry of “Recalculating.”
MQ took us onto a little traveled road, under a covered bridge (this made me nervous) and finally said to turn rt. On Pray For Your Life Hill Road.  The directions did mention that the road is sometimes closed.
Pray For Your Life Hill Road had a sign that said, “Warning, no trucks, dangerous steep hill…closed Dec. to April.”  We probably should have turned back and followed SIRI, but Mrs. C hates SIRI and we were running late for a 6/7-year-olds flag football game.
Pray For Your Life Hill Road quickly narrowed to one lane.  We hugged a cliff on our left, and dared not look down at the steep drop on our right.  The road was winding upwards and you could not see around the curves.  We were both scared sh*tless that a car might come the other way (we both missed the sign that said it was a one-way road…yes we were going the correct direction.)  At one point Mrs. C wanted to back out (there was no way to turn back) but that scared me more than what we were facing. 
Picture from Google.
The road is VERY narrow and the drop off on the right is steep and a long way down.
 I wouldn't even ride a bike on this road.
 After about a mile we finally came to the end where we had the option of turning left or right on Old Fenwick Lane.  MQ directions said to turn left on Bobble Brook Rd, SIRI suggested turning right on Fenwick.

There was no Bobble Brook Rd.

It was at this point that Mrs. C tossed the MQ directions and let SIRI take over.  SIRI got us to the game just before kickoff.  The trip took 2 hours.  If we had driven first to my son’s and then to the game it would have taken 1 ½ hours, all on safe, major roads.  We followed MQ because Mrs. C did not want to drive first north to eventually go south.
Next trip we probably will not look for the “shortest route.”
Anyway, our team won.  Seven-year-old Cole caught a pass for a TD, and ran back an interception for a TD.  Six-year-old Connor made a long run for a TD. 
Seventy-year-old Grandpa Joe aged a few years and almost pooped his pants.


  1. Riveting journey, for the reader.... smiles. Someone warned me about Siri so I stick to routes laid out in a route book. Glad the team won, that would have been even more frustrating.

  2. SD always prints out maps which would be fine if he didn't expect me to read them. He'd be better off with Siri most of the time. Glad the team won (and that you managed not to poop your pants).

  3. just what you needed -- an hair-raising adventure at 7.00 in the morning! i am astounded you made the game at all, let alone on time!!!

  4. That was a trip designed to keep you awake and paying attention. I hope the trip back was a little less hair raising.

  5. Mapquest has often steered me wrong.

  6. My township has many road like that, build along ridges. I bet it was a two lane road in the beginning, and one lane is washed down the ravine.

  7. Map Quest? Really. I didn't know people still used those old things. I guess they do.

    I would have loved being in the car listening to the exchanges.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  8. Those GPS adventures can be far more stressful than just bad map reading in my opinion.

  9. Does Mrs. C ever call Siri a jerk?

  10. Wow, what an adventure. That road didn't look wide enough for 2 bikes much less a car. Sure couldn't turn around could you? MQ took me on a wild ride just once. It is an evil tool created by evil people.

  11. My friend gave up on GPS directions when she was told to park on the interstate and walk to the park from there. It's hard to know which one to believe when you get two of them going.

  12. I hope your effort to make the game was appreciated, Granpa Joe.

  13. Leave at 7:00 a.m.? I've barely gone to bed then!

    I'd need to close my eyes on that road. Not while I'M driving, of course. But if Hick was driving. Then again, I've refused when he said to (shut up and) close my eyes, because I told him I want to see HOW he kills me.

  14. I'm not too fond of SIRI either. More likely she isn't too fond of me.

    You're lucky. If I have to be at a game the next state over by 9am I have to leave the day before. Talk about no sleep!

  15. Our GPS years ago had us on some dirt road that we figured should have been a paved one had the economy not taken a tank and the construction stopped. Glad you eventually got there relatively safe and victory was had by the players!


  16. Map Quest is about 85% reliable, at best. The other day it took us five exits past where we should have gotten off, and then lead us on surface streets to back track to our destination, which coincidentally was also to a football game. We were ten minutes late for our son's football game and just missed his run. And being new to the game, THAT was his only action of the game. And we missed it. Because of Map Quest. My husband took off the day off work to be sure he saw our son play....and Map Quest made us miss his run.