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Thursday, July 9, 2015

OLDER, NOT WISER, LESS CONCERNED ABOUT APPEARANCE


OLDER, NOT WISER, LESS CONCERNED ABOUT APPEARANCE

One change I have seen in my demeanor as I have aged is my lack of concern for appearing sophisticated.

When I was a young man, it was very important to appear, suave, sophisticated and worldly.  It never happened, but it was important.  I tried and failed often.  As an elderlier person I am less concerned with appearing suave, sophisticated and worldly; that is why I will use a non-word like elderlier and not give a crap.

When I was young and went out to dinner, I would never ask how much the “Special” cost.  One night I ordered a halibut special and when the bill came I found the special cost $35 when the most expensive entree on the menu was $24.  I now have no problem asking the waiter, “The special sounds nice, if it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg I might order it…ah how much?”  I may get kicked under the table, I don’t care, the price is a factor in my choice.

When the waiter tells me the veal is basted with hoisenfletcher sauce, I will ask him, “Oh, the veal sounds nice, but what in tarnation (GIYP) is hoisenfletcher sauce?”  Suave? No, but I don’t get stuck with veal covered with a horrible sauce and having to pretend that I like it.

I once ordered an expensive bottle of wine and when I was presented with it took a sip and said, “Delicious” because I was afraid to admit I didn’t like it.  Apparently it had gone vinegary.  Today I would spit it out and send it back.

When someone used a big word that I didn’t understand, the young Cranky would fake understanding.  Today I will simple ask, “Could you repeat that in a language we all speak?”

Tonight we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant that was BYOB.  I brought a bottle of pinot grigio.  The waiter brought over several glasses and asked if I would like some ice to keep the wine cool.  I responded trying to be humorous, “What and dilute this fine $9 bottle of wine.”

The waiter responded, “Actually I was asking if you want me to put the bottle in an ice container.”  The young Cranky would have been terribly embarrassed by such a faux pas, but not the older more mature Cranky.

“Well I guess I’m a fool, I thought you meant adding ice to the glass.”

“Actually sir, I meant both.”

“No you didn’t, but you know how to work a tip don’t you.”

“I do try sir, I do try.”

The older more mature Cranky was not the least bit embarrassed, and the young waiter got a little extra for a tip*.

*Actually dinner was on friends Barbra and Tom, but I'm sure the tip was very fair.  
Thanks Barbra and Tom!

 

17 comments:

  1. Interesting. Perhaps my somwhat youthful appearance is due to my "elderlier" attitude towards appearance which began as soon as I left the supervision of my mother at about 18. Don't sweat the little stuff being my motto....:)

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  2. I know someone (obviously a 'friend') who in their youth, and wishing to appear sophisticated, ordered a cappuccino which would have been fine had they not asked to have it served black ... Since then they have made an arse of themselves many, many times and no longer care ...

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  3. Bravo! Good for you! Plus, I do hope you added ice to that wine! Why not.

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  4. I love your style Cranky. I don't care either and I'm not sure I ever did. I am what I am and that's all there is to it. A lot less stressful isn't it.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  5. too cute. and i totally agree on just letting our hair down as we age. :)

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  6. I've learned the special at a restaurant doesn't necessarily mean reasonably priced, maybe special because the restaurant knows it will make a killing on it :)

    betty

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  7. I bet every one of us can remember when the balance tipped and we no longer gave a damn. When we could laugh with everyone at ourselves.

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  8. I like all of these, but I'm wondering at what age does one have to be to no longer be embarrassed by their spouse's snafoos?

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  9. I know a man who always, ALWAYS, tells the host/hostess/waitress/waiter that the table he's been shown to is unsatisfactory and asks for a different one, no matter how crowded the restaurant. And he presses cash on the person for getting a different table no matter how they get embarrassed/upset/disgusted. This is someone trying to act sophisticated who doesn't realize he just being boorish. I say your way is better, Joe.

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  10. Elderlier sure is more comfortable isn't it? Loved your clever waiter.

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  11. There was a time when I thought it important to let everyone know how smart I was, but now that I'm older I realize I don't know half as much as I thought I did. Heck, I can't even remember to put my answer in the form of a question when watching Jeopardy.

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  12. You've grown up, Joe!!

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  13. Heh, heh. You're more fun than a barrel of Jerks and Bono glasses.

    If only you'd been with my husband that day he paid $1000 to The Good Feet Store for shoe inserts, because he did not think to ask how much they cost before he said he'd take them.

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  14. Much better to appear down to earth and friendly. You get along with more people that way.

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  15. My daughter introduced me to Starbucks all the while expounding on the marvelous concoctions they served. She recommended that I get something with whipped chocolate and some other strangeness in it.

    Earlier in life I would probably have sucked it in and ordered her recommendation and pretended to enjoy it. But I have now found myself to be a stickler for getting exactly what I want, and that was: "Coffee. Black virgin coffee with nuthin' else in it."

    My daughter was mortified and probably embarrassed. And I enjoyed my black virgin coffee.

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