THE 'B-' BOOKSHELF
The girls
had Home Ec, where they learned the importance of cooking, cleaning and
sprucing up for when Hubby came home from work.
The boys
learned how to build stuff with tools. I
don’t know about the Home Ec instructors, but Shop teachers usually had eight
and a half fingers, and a criminal record.
My eighth grade instructor Mr. Sanders fit right in with the
stereotypical Shop teacher.
My very first
class at Shop was spent learning all about the intricacies of the “Shop
Wastebasket.” The Shop wastebasket had a
lid. The lid was lifted with a foot
pedal. The wastebasket had a lid so that flammable materials could be disposed of without risk of starting a fire. Some materials soaked with common Shop
solvents could self-combust if not for the lid which cuts off the oxygen required for fire to take place.
How Mr.
Sanders turned that bit of fascinating material into a full 45 minute lecture
pays tribute to his teaching skill.
There was a
quiz.
I think I
only took shop for one year. Our grade
was determined solely on the success of one construction project; well 10% was the result of the “Shop
Wastebasket” quiz.
For my
project I selected a bookshelf. It
consisted of two ends carefully cut with a power jigsaw, a base, and two back
supports the top which had an intricate pattern. All the pieces were nailed together. The bookshelf took several months to complete
including sanding staining and applying varnish.
Rags used to
apply the stain and varnish were safely disposed of in the Shop
Wastebasket. Fortunately enough I knew
how to work the wastebasket foot pedal and the school was safe from potential
incineration.
I received a
B- on the bookshelf. I was very proud
of my bookshelf.
When I went
to college I brought the bookshelf. When
I graduated from college I did not bring the bookshelf home. I didn't know what happened to my bookshelf.
Thirty years
later, I attended the first of what has become an annual college fraternity
reunion. The first host was my old
roommate, Stu “Wally” Robinson; “Wally” because he bears a striking resemblance
to the old comedic actor, Wally Cox (GIYP.)
Wally who
was now a very successful executive for one of the largest construction firms
in the country took me on a tour of his home.
As we passed his laundry room, I spied the B- bookshelf which was now
apparently a B- laundry product shelf.
“Yo…so that’s what happened to it!”
“Happened to what?”
“My B- bookshelf, I haven’t seen it
since college, I figured it just got tossed.”
“What, toss such a beautiful piece of
workmanship? (Wally is known for his dry sense of humor) You gave it to me for
my apartment after I got married before our last semester.”
“Did I? Well as long as it serves a useful purpose.”
I didn't want to claim it was stolen (which I think it was) because then Wally might
remind me of what an ass I made of myself at his wedding (liquor and a piano were involved), an event that I’m not
sure to this day I was even invited to attend.
The subject
was dropped.
The next
year the reunion was hosted by Carl “Gawk” Anderson; so named because, well he
is just a big Gawk. When that event
ended, Wally presented me with a neatly gift wrapped present. It looked strangely like a small book
shelf. Unwrapped, it was indeed the B-
bookshelf.
I took it
home and it now is proudly hung in my garage where it became a B- nail and
screw box holder.
I should
probably re-wrap it for the reunion next year and return it to Wally.
Naw…I earned
that B- and I'm using that shelf.
