This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, June 15, 2014


It is time once again for
I only killed him a little bit!


 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.  None of the above may be a correct answer.



Son keeps promise he made as 8-year-old: a '57 Chevy for his 57-year-old dad – Crap, my son promised me an ’85 Yugo when I turn 85.

Quebec sees second jailbreak involving helicopter – No really Warden, just let us have the helicopter for one hour, we won’t use it to escape again…promise.

1600 paper mache pandas invade Hong Kong airport – Entire airport crop of paper mache bamboo shoots was destroyed in hours.

Florida man accused of assaulting brother with marijuana plant – Florida man was later killed when he attempted to smoke his gun.

Balloon Sex Really Blows For Kinky Clown Couple – Even I know to never attempt balloon sex with a fake nose and really big shoes!

Wendy Davis says Republicans dislike ‘people who don’t look like them’ – I’m a Republican and I feel sorry for people who look like me.

California Bill Would Make All Sex Rape Without Prior Verbal Consent – So, I guess all sex would become a ménage à trois with the third person being a lawyer.

Woman calls 911 “Ice cream vendor didn’t give me enough sprinkles!”  - I got 99 problems, but sprinkles ain’t one.

Mom arrested for meth lab after four year old dials 911 – “Mommy’s making a mess?...Oh meth!  We’ll be right over.”

New Mexico bachelor party finds 3-million-year-old stegomastodon fossil – Do they know how to party in New Mexico or what?

Woman Shoplifted 7 Lobsters By Sticking Them In Pants – She didn’t have an escape claws and was pinched by security.

Baltimore police shoot cow running loose in cityNow that is what I call await for itPolice Steak Out.


Last week’s fake was:

Amazon Howler Monkeys make crude traps to catch fish –You expect a sophisticated trap?  It’s a fecking monkey!

And the winners are:

I'm going with the Howler Monkey story.

I'm going with the Amazon Howler Monkeys make crude traps to catch fish one. The rest of your entries sound fine to me and several I've already seen the video or read about.

Going with the Amazon Howler Monkeys...I don't think monkeys eat fish, and they are way too smart to bother building something they wouldn't have use for.

Yup definitely the howler monkeys.


Because I was told many times that a monkey could do my job (surgical nurse), I hesitate to suggest the monkey headline...but I'm going with that one!

Check out Bob for Home Improvement stories and more.

Visit Sandee for jokes (especially blonde jokes.) Go today for sure, it’s Silly Sunday!

Pixel Peeper has a little of everything, jogging stories, Florida wildlife and Dry Cleaner signs (trust me.)

Go see Catalyst/Taylor for…er…well oddball observations.

I’m just getting to know yaya.  So far pictures, humor, sweet family stuff.  I like it, visit.


Visit and congratulate all the winners and come back next week for more



And Happy Father’s Day to all you great Dads!!


  1. I know the Baltimore cop one is true but really how stupid can they be. The cops that is..... We live surrounded by cows and pigs in our area and they are no generally considered to be life threatening animals....:)

  2. well, crap. my comment didn't take.

    i'm going with clowns and balloon sex.

  3. Are you sure that woman shoplifter with 17 lobsters down her pants didn't enter the store as a MAN?

  4. I'm going for the mom arrested for meth lab after four year old dials 911.

    Happy Fathers day Cranky. I'll link you to Silly Sunday too. :)

  5. I'm guessing the mommy meth lab, too. But if I saw such a headline, would I even be surprised?

  6. Some of these I read about, but please tell me the woman calling 911 because of sprinkles is fake.

  7. People who answer 911 calls could probably write books--write more books than Nora Roberts--and the books would be so much better.

    I especially loved your comment on the lobster theft.

  8. I will with the New Mexico bachelor party. Sounds like some one was a real stiff.

  9. I'm going for the California sex. Without recordings, this would lead to too many cases of he said/she said, or he said/he said, or she said/she said.

  10. Hmmm. I don't know this time. Although I lived in New Mexico for years and can tell you they do NOT know how to party haha.

  11. I think police shooting cows would be unbelievable here in the US.


I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!