THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, June 15, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 061514
STUPID HEADLINES 061514
It is time once
I only killed him a little bit!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and
sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be
completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.None of the above may be a correct answer.
Son keeps promise he made as 8-year-old: a
'57 Chevy for his 57-year-old dad – Crap, my son promised me an ’85 Yugo when I turn 85.
Quebec sees second jailbreak involving
helicopter – No really
Warden, just let us have the helicopter for one hour, we won’t use it to escape
1600 paper mache pandas invade Hong Kong
airport – Entire
airport crop of paper mache bamboo shoots was destroyed in hours.
Florida man accused of assaulting brother
with marijuana plant – Florida man was later killed when he attempted to smoke his gun.
Balloon Sex Really Blows For Kinky Clown Couple – Even I know to never attempt balloon sex with a fake nose and really big
Wendy Davis says Republicans dislike
‘people who don’t look like them’ – I’m a Republican and I feel sorry for people who look
California Bill Would Make All Sex
Rape Without Prior Verbal Consent – So, I guess all sex would become a ménage à troiswith the
third person being a lawyer.
Woman calls 911 “Ice cream vendor
didn’t give me enough sprinkles!”- I got 99 problems, but sprinkles
Mom arrested for meth lab after four
year old dials 911 – “Mommy’s
making a mess?...Oh meth!We’ll be right
New Mexico bachelor party finds
3-million-year-old stegomastodon fossil – Do they know how to party in New Mexico or
Woman Shoplifted 7 Lobsters By Sticking Them In Pants – She didn’t have an escape claws and was pinched by security.
Baltimore police shoot cow
running loose in city – Now that is what I call
a…wait for it…Police Steak Out.
Last week’s fake was:
Amazon Howler Monkeys make crude traps to
catch fish –You expect a
sophisticated trap? It’s a fecking monkey!