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Sunday, June 1, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 060114


STUPID HEADLINES 060114

It is time once again for
I think we need a study on this.
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

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Maine woman, 99, gets college degree 75 years late over $5 fee – With penalty and interest she needed a $20,000 student loan.

Smart grill texts when burgers are done – Or you could use a timer with a buzzer.

Iranian judge summons Facebook's Zuckerberg to court – Zuckerman unfriends Iranian judge.

Cynicism linked to greater dementia risk, study says – I forget what this was about, but I know I found it really difficult to believe!

More than 84 graves discovered under Atlanta golf course – I thought a two shot penalty was harsh…this is one tough course!

Toxins in the environment may accelerate aging, study finds – Only if exposed to small doses over a very long period of time.*

Porn May Be Bad for Your Brain – That be dificultum to me for belevin.

Washington mom outraged over 'pay to potty' policy in classroom – I don’t think anyone should use the classroom as a potty for any amount of money.

Illinois bill drops hunting fee to $1 for seniors – Hell, I’m staying out of Illinois.  I just don’t agree with hunting for seniors!

Cow blamed for causing oil spill – Oh sure, they always blame the cow; first that Chicago thing, and now this.

Sterling Lawyer Denies Reports He’s Mentally Incompetent – What lawyer would admit to being mentally incompetent?

Cook Licked Cheese Sandwiches Before Serving Officers – I wouldn’t order the cheese sandwich or the Officer.

First grader asked to cover birthmark shaped like gun – Not so bad, if it looked like Jesus he would have been suspended.


*Apologies to George Carlin

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Last week’s fake was:

Diver fends off shark attack with flash camera – SMILE you son of a bitch!

The only winner was:


Yea--I won at something! My guess was the camera and the shark, but I saw that I was a swing and miss this week.

Two in a row for Slamdunk although I’m not sure with that “swing and a miss” comment. 

You never know what you are going to get @ http://theslamdunktrove.blogspot.com/ I am a new follower…suggest you join.

As always, check out all our winner(s) and come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINES SUNDAY!!

13 comments:

  1. i'm choosing the smith and wesson birthmark, cranky.

    i read that cynic thing, too, and knew i was doomed...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Any American child has a god given right to open carry a gun shaped birth mark. Don't mess with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm going with the birthmark too. Nothing you can do about birthmarks. I do agree that if it looked like Jesus you'd be suspended.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm following the crowd and go with the birthmark.

    However, if this first grader lived in South Carolina and had a Jesus birthmark, he'd be on every single news station, right along with that grilled cheese sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm very amused by how well you pick out the ambiguities in these headlines and play with them. I'm gunning for the birthmark also. In the USA, there would be no issue with that. But pity the poor kid who has a birthmark in the shape of a Kinder Egg...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, I think it's the birthmark thing too. Didn't the kid have a license for that thing?

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  7. That birthmark one can't be true. Pleeeze say it ain't.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll be the contrarian and go with fish needing water. Everyone knows they need cornmeal and hot oil. ;)

    S

    ReplyDelete
  9. A birthmark for all! I'll go with the majority flow for once, and declare that the gun birthmark coverup is fake. I was almost swayed by the Maine college woman, but the birthmark seems more contrived.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm going to be different then everyone else and go with "Cow blamed for causing oil spill" as the fake. I have not do to good at this lately.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ha, my swing and miss comment was how I was so sure that I was wrong. Can I go three in a row? Fortunately, I saw some of the stories in reading the news so I can narrow down the list. How about your first grader and the birthmark--there were other stories about covering things in yearbooks and school photos this week, but I missed that one if it was true.

    Thanks for the publicity and enjoy your Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Why do I want to believe the birthmark headline is real?
    I know.
    It's because the story is true.
    It's just the media has become tired of writing all those suspended from school stories.

    ReplyDelete

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