STUPID HEADLINES 060114
It is time once again for
STUPID
HEADLINE SUNDAY
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| I think we need a study on this. |
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric
and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win
a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.
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Maine woman, 99, gets college degree 75
years late over $5 fee – With penalty and interest she needed a $20,000 student loan.
Smart grill
texts when burgers are done – Or you could use a timer with a buzzer.
Iranian judge summons Facebook's Zuckerberg
to court – Zuckerman
unfriends Iranian judge.
Cynicism linked
to greater dementia risk, study says – I forget what this was about, but I know I found it
really difficult to believe!
More than 84 graves discovered
under Atlanta golf course – I thought a two shot penalty was harsh…this is one tough course!
Toxins in the environment may accelerate
aging, study finds – Only if exposed to small doses over a very long period of time.*
Porn May Be Bad for
Your Brain – That be dificultum to me for belevin.
Washington mom outraged over 'pay to potty'
policy in classroom – I don’t think anyone should use the classroom as a potty for any amount
of money.
Illinois bill drops hunting fee to $1 for
seniors – Hell, I’m
staying out of Illinois. I just don’t
agree with hunting for seniors!
Cow blamed for causing oil spill – Oh sure, they always blame the cow; first
that Chicago thing, and now this.
Sterling Lawyer Denies
Reports He’s Mentally Incompetent – What lawyer would admit to being mentally
incompetent?
Cook Licked Cheese Sandwiches Before Serving Officers – I wouldn’t order the cheese sandwich or the Officer.
First grader asked to cover birthmark shaped like gun – Not so bad, if it looked like Jesus he would have been suspended.
*Apologies
to George Carlin
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Last week’s fake was:
Diver fends off shark attack with flash camera – SMILE you son of a bitch!
The only winner was:
Yea--I won at
something! My guess was the camera and the shark, but I saw that I was a swing
and miss this week.
Two in a row for Slamdunk although I’m
not sure with that “swing and a miss” comment.
You never know what you are going to get
@ http://theslamdunktrove.blogspot.com/
I am a new follower…suggest you join.
As always, check out all our winner(s)
and come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINES SUNDAY!!
i'm choosing the smith and wesson birthmark, cranky.
ReplyDeletei read that cynic thing, too, and knew i was doomed...
Any American child has a god given right to open carry a gun shaped birth mark. Don't mess with it.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with the birthmark too. Nothing you can do about birthmarks. I do agree that if it looked like Jesus you'd be suspended.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)
Birthmark!
ReplyDeleteI'm following the crowd and go with the birthmark.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if this first grader lived in South Carolina and had a Jesus birthmark, he'd be on every single news station, right along with that grilled cheese sandwich.
I'm very amused by how well you pick out the ambiguities in these headlines and play with them. I'm gunning for the birthmark also. In the USA, there would be no issue with that. But pity the poor kid who has a birthmark in the shape of a Kinder Egg...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think it's the birthmark thing too. Didn't the kid have a license for that thing?
ReplyDeleteThat birthmark one can't be true. Pleeeze say it ain't.
ReplyDeleteI'll be the contrarian and go with fish needing water. Everyone knows they need cornmeal and hot oil. ;)
ReplyDeleteS
A birthmark for all! I'll go with the majority flow for once, and declare that the gun birthmark coverup is fake. I was almost swayed by the Maine college woman, but the birthmark seems more contrived.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be different then everyone else and go with "Cow blamed for causing oil spill" as the fake. I have not do to good at this lately.
ReplyDeleteHa, my swing and miss comment was how I was so sure that I was wrong. Can I go three in a row? Fortunately, I saw some of the stories in reading the news so I can narrow down the list. How about your first grader and the birthmark--there were other stories about covering things in yearbooks and school photos this week, but I missed that one if it was true.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the publicity and enjoy your Monday.
Why do I want to believe the birthmark headline is real?
ReplyDeleteI know.
It's because the story is true.
It's just the media has become tired of writing all those suspended from school stories.