THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Friday, April 29, 2016
A cranky opinion for
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
following is the opinion of a cranky old man who is an expert on this topic.Opposing opinions are welcome, but they are
wrong! As always, please no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid
I just learned a new
intentionally taking up space on a train or bus depriving others of a seat and forcing them to ask you to make room, something many people are loath to do.
I learned this term when I read that
San Francisco was contemplating a law to make Manspreading illegal and a
fine-able offence.Ordinarily this is the
kind of government interference that I find silly.Not this time.I commuted by train for forty years, and
though we didn’t have a name for it, Manspreading used to piss me off.
There are several Manspreading
techniques.Some just spread their legs
wide or cross them so that they invade the space next to them.When a passenger approaches looking for a seat,
the Man spreader will dig his nose in the paper or concentrate on the Penske
file he brought home from the office.He
will not make room unless asked, and when asked will act as if the requestor
was the one being rude.
Elbows out is another space taking
method.Extra annoying is when the
Manspreader plops his briefcase or other object on the seat.
The end-seat sitter used to really shrink
my shorts.This asshole would sit on the
end leaving the window seat blocked.The
Manspreader relies on making others uncomfortable with asking them to not
behave like an animal.I was not one of
those “others.”I wanted to make the
Manspreader as uncomfortable as possible.
me, did you pay for a ticket for your briefcase, cause I’ve been on my feet all
day and I did pay for a seat.”
sure” as the asshole tried to make it seem
like making room was an imposition.
If it was just legs and or elbows
taking up space, I would just take the seat and let elbows or legs be
damned.I refused to politely ask for
him to make room.Rudeness does not
deserve manners…fuck him!
I asked the end sitter, “Excuse me, is someone sitting in that
Sometimes the asshole would not say
anything and just move over.REALLY?Could you be more obvious
that the only reason you sat in the aisle seat was to block the window
The Manspreading technique I could not
defeat was the coughing, sneezing asshole.I know sometimes the cough was just a fake, but I also know some
assholes will go to work half dead, I’ll be damned if I’m going take a chance
and suck in their germy exhales for forty minutes.
So yes, I hated Manspreaders.I am in favor of giving drivers and
conductors the authority to fine Manspread violators.Maybe it is time to start cracking down on all
bad manners.Feet on a seat…that’s a
fine.You smell because of poor
hygiene…that’s a fine.Cough or sneeze
without covering up…FINE!Talk to a stranger who is reading or
otherwise occupied…FINE!Talking loud on a cell phone…FINE! Cursing out loud just to make
There are so many examples of poor
manners that perhaps should be fine-able, but we have to start somewhere.
I say we start with Manspreading.GO San
preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of