Thursday, January 14, 2016
Mrs. Cranky is at it again; sneaking around, little white lies, questionable behavior, evasive answers…she is not to be trusted I tell you.
“I bought you a banana muffin for breakfast.”
“Great, where is it.”
“On the counter.”
“I don’t see it, wait, what is under the towel?”
“It’s right on the counter, and don’t look under the towel.”
“Why not, don’t you want me to see the cinnamon twist?”
“Don’t touch the twist, I got you a muffin.”
“Why did you hide it, I wouldn’t take the twist.”
“Yes you would have, now leave it alone!”
She does this all the time. She hides food that I might want.
Yesterday we brought home dinner from Boston Market. She bought a plate of brownies. I like brownies, but we also have a delicious fruitcake that I have been working on after dinners. This morning I noticed a towel over the brownies.
“Why are the brownies under a towel?”
“Hello…the brownies under a towel…seriously?”
“Oh, those brownies, I want to keep them out of the light to last longer.”
“Just a minute, let me check behind my ears. Nope, still dry. Why are you hiding the brownies?”
“Because you have your fruitcake.”
“So, then you don’t have to hide the brownies.”
“The brownies go stale, fruit cake lasts forever; you’ll eat the brownies and save the fruitcake for later.”
“So why do you get all the brownies?”
“Because I don’t like fruitcake.”
“So because I like fruitcake, you get all the brownies?”
“See, I knew you would eat the brownies first, now I have to hide them again.”
Last night Mrs. C was doing something behind my back while I was watching TV.
I recognized by the sound what she was up to.
“Did you just poor water into my water glass?”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because it is perfectly good water.”
“Then you drink it!”
“I have water; this was left over from another glass. Why do you care?”
“Because it is yesterday’s water, and you keep it in a plastic cup, your water has a plastic taste.”
“It’s perfectly fine, and I don’t throw away good water.”
“This is not California; we don’t have a drought in Jersey.”
“I don’t like to waste water.”
“Maybe you should hide it under a towel!”
“You’re a JERK!”
She is not to be trusted I tell you.