The Cover-up
Mrs. Cranky
is at it again; sneaking around, little white lies, questionable behavior,
evasive answers…she is not to be trusted I tell you.
“I bought you a banana muffin for
breakfast.”
“Great, where is it.”
“On the counter.”
“I don’t see it, wait, what is under
the towel?”
“It’s right on the counter, and don’t
look under the towel.”
“Why not, don’t you want me to see
the cinnamon twist?”
“Don’t touch the twist, I got you a
muffin.”
“Why did you hide it, I wouldn’t take
the twist.”
“Yes you would have, now leave it
alone!”
She does
this all the time. She hides food that I
might want.
Yesterday we
brought home dinner from Boston Market.
She bought a plate of brownies. I
like brownies, but we also have a delicious fruitcake that I have been working
on after dinners. This morning I noticed
a towel over the brownies.
“Why are the brownies under a towel?”
“What brownies?”
“Hello…the brownies under a towel…seriously?”
“Oh, those brownies, I want to keep
them out of the light to last longer.”
“Just a minute, let me check behind
my ears. Nope, still dry. Why are you hiding the brownies?”
“Because you have your fruitcake.”
“So, then you don’t have to hide the
brownies.”
“The brownies go stale, fruit cake lasts
forever; you’ll eat the brownies and save the fruitcake for later.”
“So why do you get all the brownies?”
“Because I don’t like fruitcake.”
“So because I like fruitcake, you get
all the brownies?”
“See, I knew you would eat the
brownies first, now I have to hide them again.”
Last night
Mrs. C was doing something behind my back while I was watching TV.
I recognized
by the sound what she was up to.
“Did you just poor water into my
water glass?”
“Maybe”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because it is perfectly good water.”
“Then you drink it!”
“I have water; this was left over
from another glass. Why do you care?”
“Because it is yesterday’s water, and
you keep it in a plastic cup, your water has a plastic taste.”
“It’s perfectly fine, and I don’t throw
away good water.”
“This is not California; we don’t have
a drought in Jersey.”
“I don’t like to waste water.”
“Maybe you should hide it under a
towel!”
“You’re a JERK!”
She is not
to be trusted I tell you.
What is wrong with you guys? You only want something if we want it for ourselves. Like when we go to the store, and ask if you want anything, you say, "No." But then when we get back with our loot, you have to have it.
ReplyDeleteLike two nights ago, my husband asked if he could have a bagel. "Sure," I said. And do you know that he ate a bagel, and some strawberry cream cheese, and the next day SNUCK MY BAGEL HALF OUT OF THE BAG AND ATE IT, TOO! I told him he could have one, but I didn't think he would start working on the whole bag. It's not like they're even good bagels like you can get in Boston, but only Lender's bagels from the Walmart cold food aisle.
Sorry. I hope Mrs. C found a good hiding place for those brownies, you fruitcake!
I would NEVER act like Mrs. C, although once I hid some brownies in the clothes dryer!!
ReplyDeleteI like fruitcake, too.
ReplyDeleteIt really sounds like you need to chow down on all of the food and snacks before she can hide them from you!
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me--I left 1/3 of a Hershey bar on the table. Gotta get it before HE finds it! All's fair in love and Hersheys.
ReplyDeleteOh for heaven's sake! She doesn't like to waste the water, yet won't drink it herself? Why should you be expected to drink 'secondhand' water?
ReplyDeleteHiding food is a whole other type of wrong.
Perhaps you could accidentally leave the phone book open at the page which has psychiatrists and psychologists on it.
I like fruit cake too. I do it in a completely different way to Mrs C. I eat the food and then put the empty box etc back in the cupboard for a few days. SD is far more restrained than me so it doesn't occur to him that I might have eaten everything the day we bought it and he thinks I've made it last all week. Sometimes it goes wrong when he fancies a Jaffa cake and discovers the empty box but then I just blame Miss Mac - we all have our little ways ...
ReplyDeleteSo YOU have the fruitcake? I remember it passing through Texas a few years ago. I wondered where it went. Now I know....New Jersey. ;)
ReplyDeleteWe don't hide food here. If it's still here when I want some great, if it's not then that's okay too, I know how to get the car out of the garage and go pick up more. You two are most entertaining.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Wow, she is a bit controlling is she not?
ReplyDeleteAh, so YOU'RE the one who likes fruitcake...
ReplyDeleteI don't hide food, but I found out when we were playing a game with friends recently that my husband does. He keeps a secret stash of chocolate around here somewhere, just in case he needs it to get on my good side. HA! I guess I'll just have to act cantankerous when I've got a taste for chocolate...
Tell her she is only as sick as the secrets she keeps, and food eaten in secret always comes back to haunt you.
ReplyDeleteUsually on the hips and butt.
DeleteIf I was you, I'd hide that fruitcake. From myself.
ReplyDeleteShe needs a better hiding place. You are definitely on to the towel thing.
ReplyDeleteYea, I like fruitcake too.
“Just a minute, let me check behind my ears. Nope, still dry."
ReplyDeleteThat line alone was worth the price of admission. Oh, wait, you don't charge admission... well, it was a great line, anyway.
you two go round and round. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd hide my brownies, too, though I'd find a better place than under a towel. Like the vegetable drawer in the fridge maybe.
ReplyDeleteThis would drive me crazy, too, but I have to confess.....I hide chocolate bars from EVERYONE in the house because NONE of them are to be trusted when it comes to candy!
ReplyDeleteAt our house, anything left on the counter, even "under the towel" would be gobbled up by the dog - leaving us with nothing to argue about.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Mrs. C on the "wasting plastic water" issue. Over here, that gets poured straight into the dog bowl - leaving us with nothing to argue about.
I think you two need to adopt a dog!
And fruitcake? Seriously? ewww!!!!!