DRIVING MR. CRANKY
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| This cranky re-run is from January 20114 |
In a recent post I slipped and let it be known that Mrs. Cranky does almost all the driving in our family. There are several reasons for this. First, for a while I couldn’t see that well especially at night due to cataracts in each eye. Then often when we went out to eat I had too much wine and scotch to drive. Those problems have been addressed, but I just got used to Mrs. C driving.
In previous lives I always drove. I was just a better more experienced driver than wife #1 and I was never comfortable as a passenger. Wife #2 was an even worse driver, plus when she had an anxiety attack, which was often, she drove fast and crazy. I think she was trying to have an accident and then somehow blame it on me…don’t even ask…it is very difficult living in the land of insane.
Anyway.
Mrs. C is not only a good driver, but she never gets lost. She knows every road in New Jersey and has an uncanny sense of direction. I just relax and “leave the driving to her.”
The only thing I have to get used to is that Mrs. C, who is half Irish and half Italian, becomes full on Italian-attitude behind the wheel. My mild mannered sweet wife behind the wheel is a whole new person.
Everyone else on the road is an asshole.
“Look at this asshole trying to get into my lane.”
“Well I think he wants to take the exit.”
“Don’t defend him, he’s an asshole!”
“Yes dear.”
“Dude move over! Asshole!”
“I think she’s an eighty year old cue tip, maybe you should cut her some slack.”
“Then she shouldn’t be on the road…MOVE OVER…asshole!”
“Yes sweetie,”
“Did you see that idiot swerve in front of me? What an asshole”
“Well it was a BMW, so yes he is an asshole.”
My friend Scott Z. would tell me that having your wife drive should make you take two steps back on the great “Tuffy Tuffy Tuff Guy*” game board of life.
Actually I think it should allow me a free roll.
I think I'm a back seat half Italian driver (without being half Italian) - SD is incredibly laid back and just deals with the assholes while I shout and bounce up and down in my seat next to him.
ReplyDeleteEveryone else on the road IS an asshole
ReplyDelete...except for maybe a few of those guys driving semis.
OMG...your wife and I are alike. Everyone on the road is an asshole and I'm telling them that often. Hubby just ignores me. Bless his heart.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. My very best to Mrs. C. ☺
I snorted tea out my nose on this one...but I'm right there with Mrs. C with all the assholes out there on the road :)
ReplyDeleteGolly, you got out of that one without being called a jerk. Good idea to let her drive and take out any hostilities she has on total strangers. Smart move. Just smile and enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI've taken to letting SWMBO drive from time to time. I'm still alive but the inside of my mouth is all chewed up.
ReplyDeleteAt least it's NOT you she's calling an asshole!!
ReplyDeleteYes, fishducky at least her term for joeh is less malicious. I understand HE gets called, "Jerk!"
ReplyDeleteI always drove in my previous marriage. The ex is an Asshole above and beyond all Assholes in his own category.
ReplyDeleteI drove because I wanted to get there. As in ALIVE and in ONE piece. He was always texting or playing with his phone. I don't know why he complained. If I was driving, he could play with his phone all he wanted.
Ex = Asshole! LOL!
I'm hoping Mrs. Cranky is not a master sweaver. You know. That special combination of swerving and weaving practiced by my husband whenever he's behind the wheel.
ReplyDeleteMr. Peeper likes to drive, and I'm quite alright with it. Gives me a chance to catch up on some naps. When we drive in unfamiliar territory, I read the GPS thingy and tell him when and where to turn (GPS lady says "Right turn ahead" and I add "Not this one...up further where the traffic light is.").
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with letting her drive, Sweetie often lets me do the driving. And yes, the rest of those people are awful drivers!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the ride. I used to do all the driving too because my husband was much older. Now, I would like someone to drive for me but there is no one.
ReplyDeleteI do most of our driving, but honestly, I'm happy to let The Mrs drive. Around town driving is just plain boring.
ReplyDelete