This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, January 17, 2016



It is time again for


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  


Sex with Neanderthals may explain modern allergies – I don’t know about allergies, but I am repulsed by women with one eyebrow and a ridged forehead.

Virginia woman, 19, lifts burning truck to save her father's life – But first she asked, “How many weeks did you say I’m grounded?”

Volunteers will be used to cuddle, feed goats at Virginia farm – Sixty percent of the volunteers are named Habib.  The other forty percent volunteered to feed the goats.*

Students advised to stop chanting 'U-S-A, U-S-A' and 'air ball' – Now told to cheer, “You were very good, we just got lucky; even though we won, you weren’t all that yucky.”**

Barack Obama sells optimism to nervous nation – “Optimism, optimism, get your red hot optimism here!”

Possible pirate skeleton found under schoolyard – That is where Pirates learned the three Arrrgh’s. (I apologize for the obligatory pirate Arrrgh joke)

Lawsuit demands US remove 'In God We Trust' from money – Since I know some people worship at the altar of the almighty dollar, I think all money is unconstitutional.

Boozy 10K to offer runners wine instead of water – Do not expect any record times.

Farmer cut off his right hand in failed ploy for insurance money – He didn’t get any money, but he did spite his face.***

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO SLEEP IN AN ACTIVE VOLCANO It’s not so bad, with a good breeze the wind chill factor can make it feel like 183.

Flying turkey ruffles feathers about 'emotional support' animals on planes – Too bad another passenger didn’t have an emotional support bobcat.

Jeb Bush releases 60-second TV ad attacking 'jerk' Donald Trump Trump answered back by calling Jeb “A big fat doody head!” Finally some intelligent debate.

*I apologize to all non-head chopping, little boy diddling, female abusing middle-easterners who we all know to be wonderful peace loving people.
**I must say the "USA USA" chant does get on my nerves a bit.
***That probably should be to spite his arm, but face just sounded funnier to me.


Come back next week for more:



  1. As God as my witness, I swear I didn't know turkeys can't fly.

  2. Love the booze-fueled 10K. It reminds me of my plans for a miniature golf course wherein participants would be rewarded with a free mixed drink for every hole-in-one made. Bartenders/referees would be situated at strategic places on the course to verify and hand out drinks. I wanted to call it "Putt 'n Puke". I have thus far been unable to find any backers.

  3. Week after week after week - HILARIOUS! (your follow up quips I mean!)

  4. In my youth that 10K would have been a must do.

  5. Boozy 10k? Maybe that's what it will take to get me to sign up for 10k...

  6. That's a bumper crop of sophomoric comments this week!

  7. I want to run/drink that 10K. That's my kind of race. Probably will take me about a week to finish, but what a week it will be.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺