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Saturday, December 26, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 122715


STUPID HEADLINES 122715

It is time again for
What are the odds?
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  



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Polluted nuclear weapons site to become tourist destination – I’ve heard glowing reports about this tourist destination.

Wrong contestant crowned at Miss Universe 2015 – I mean the winner is such as from a country that is I mean like the USA of America is not the winner such as the real country that is the winneriest personal victor such as it is someone…like…you know?


This deal’s a real gem: Buy a diamond, get a shotgun – She had better say yes!

Two extinct snakes spotted swimming off Australia’s coast – EXTINCT –vanished, lost, died out, no longer existing, no longer extant, wiped out, destroyed, gone.” So?


Saudi Arabia reverses decision to stone maid for adultery, Sri Lanka claims – How very tolerant, she is only going to jail…meanwhile old dudes marrying toddlers and diddling little boys seems to be quite alright.

US quietly maneuvers to cut UN dues – Would that make them the un-dues?

Woman arrested after fighting with husband who wouldn’t stop farting – Husband claims, “She wouldn’t stop pulling my finger!”


Wife bites off husband’s ear during argument about beer, cops say – “Tastes great”…“Less filling”…“Tastes great”… “Less filling” Is it really worth an ear?

Blind, elderly dog named ‘Christmas’ rescued from a well – “What is it Timmy, what are you trying to say?  Is it Christmas?”

“What are you, deaf I’m telling you Christmas fell in the well!”

San Diego police search for 400-pound bearded woman suspected of stabbing man – That might just narrow down the list of suspects a bit.

Dutch driving instructors can trade lessons for sex – Kind of gives new meaning to “Going Dutch.”

Shirtless Vladimir Putin calendar goes on sale in Russia – I know the winters can be long and cold in Russia, but…


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Come back next week for more:


 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

6 comments:

  1. I'd be interested in seeing the police put together a lineup of 400 pound bearded women!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...Buy a diamond, get a shotgun... Well, that's all you need for a shotgun wedding!

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  3. Heh, heh! "She wouldn't stop pulling my finger!" I also enjoyed the tastes great/less filling ear.

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  4. Not so fast....I heard that Greenland has been inundated with cheap counterfeit Chinese-made meteorites. I got mine on Ebay and I must say they look surprisingly real!

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  5. haha.

    I'm guessing there's more smartness awaited to be crashed into our newspapers!

    ReplyDelete

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