WHY HUSBANDS CAN’T WIN
ARGUMENTS
This post is intended for men
only. Women are forbidden from reading
this post. Move on, nothing to see here.
Men, stop
even trying to win an argument with your wife.
Just give in and move on. Right
or wrong you cannot win an argument.
Why? Because there is no right or
wrong when you argue with a woman. Women feel, men think and you cannot argue a
woman’s feelings.
Your woman
will say,
“Don’t tell me how I feel!”
(You’ve
heard that before haven’t you.)
I watch a
lot of TV; Reality TV, Judge Shows, and
Dr. Phil. I hear again and again, the
woman will say,
“I just feel…”
“I just feel that you don’t care.”
“I just feel that you’d rather play
golf.”
“I just feel that you don’t want to
make more money.”
The man will
always say,
“I just think.”
“I just think you expect too much.”
“I just think you don’t try hard enough.”
And the GRANDDADDY of “Thinks”
“I don’t think you should feel that
way.”
(Oh crap
dude you just said it.)
“Don’t tell me how to feel, and it is you that makes me feel that way!”
So here it
is guys if you want to be happy, STOP THINKING!
You can’t
argue feelings, but what you think can be wrong.
This is so important it needs repeating:
This is so important it needs repeating:
Got
that? Feelings just are; you can’t argue
them. What you think can be wrong.
“I just think you don’t care anymore.”
“Well I do care, so you are wrong!”
You lose.
“I just feel that you don’t care
anymore.”
“Well I don't think you should feel that way
because I do still care.”
(Oh crap
dude)
“Don’t tell me how to feel, and it is you that makes me feel that way!”
You lose.
Do you get it guys? You cannot win. Feeling trumps thinking
every time.
Take it from
someone working on his third marriage.
Skip the thinking, and go straight to the apology.
Learn to
say,
“I am so sorry you feel that way,
what can I do to change the way you feel, because I don’t want you to feel that
way…I feel bad that you feel that way.”
It is not
easy, guys because we think too much.
Work on it. Stand in front on the
mirror and practice,
“I am so sorry you feel that way,
what can I do to change the way you feel, because I don’t want you to feel that
way…I feel bad that you feel that way.”
It is not
about winning an argument, it is about survival.
Can you feel
what I’m telling you?
Think about
it.
I heard from a professional that, "You are not responsible for how other people feel."
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, by the time I he said it, my ex had stopped attending the sessions.
What you think is only wrong if you say it out loud.
ReplyDeleteI would love to comment but can't because I'm not allowed to read your piece.
ReplyDeleteThat says it for me, too!!
DeleteMarriage counselors and other folks in psychology started the 'I feel' statement dialogue so that people (mostly women) would stop sounding like naggers and blamers with, 'You do this or that.'
ReplyDeleteYou knew I was going to read this post. I think I'm doing it wrong because I say, "I think". Bugger.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
The post says "for Men Only". You know that was just a woman invite didn't you? However, Im not going to argue anything you mentioned here.
ReplyDeleteLisa
You really did think a lot about that, didn't you?
ReplyDeleteYou're dancin with the devil dude but I'm making notes in my words to live by.
ReplyDeleteI'll just add that I almost feel sorry for my husband when I'm in the mood to pick a fight just for the sport of it. He's way out of his league in the arena of the mental gymnastics it would take to win one with me! Ha!
ReplyDeleteAs you asked, I didn't read this post. Let me just ask though, what if you're a woman who thinks rather than feels? :)
ReplyDeleteI think your post is right on. lol
Oh Cranky,
ReplyDeleteYou will win the argument because men are always logical and (mostly) correct. And - since no women are reading this post - men CANNOT read women's minds! Imagine if we could? Imagine the freedom? Imagine the life? Sadly, I fear the reality is that if we could read their mind's we would be even MORE confused.
:o)
Cheers
PM
Cranky you make a good point Early classes in Feelings 101 might be helpful for men if taught really early, like second grade. "I feel" you ought to write the first text book.
ReplyDeleteYou can win every argument if you are simply always right.
ReplyDeleteSo very true. And the worst part is after convincing us guys that a woman's feelings are more important tan our thinking, they use their emotions to hold us hostage.
ReplyDeleteI didn't read your post.
ReplyDeleteI feel gypped.
My name is Hal, and I think you are finally catching on.
ReplyDeleteI have learned that the way to avoid arguments is just to agree with whatever she says.
ReplyDeleteNotice: I did not say that I avoid arguments, just that I KNOW how to avoid them.
Okay, I'm sitting here reading this post with a sheet covering my head so that you won't know if I'm a man or a woman. So let me get this straight: you think that a woman shouldn't read this post? Well, I feel that's unfair. (damn, I just gave myself away!)
ReplyDeleteI've given up on the "I feel." I'm on the "This is how it is." :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a smart man, but I command the common sense.
ps. that photo use to be me, but I have new tactics that work better. :)
DeleteI think I am unsure how I feel about this post...
ReplyDelete