A Day At The Movies

A Day At The Movies

The other night we went to see “My Big Fat Greek Wedding II.”  It is a very funny movie, not the least bit disappointing as are many sequels,  but this post is about the theater, not the movie.

Mrs. C wanted to go to the 2:00 showing, and then do an early dinner.  I preferred the 4:40 showing and then having a later dinner. 

I won.

Then Mrs. C wanted to leave at 3:30 for the theater.  I thought that was ridiculous because I didn’t want to walk the Mall while waiting for the movie to start.  I was told that this theater required that you select your seat when you buy your ticket, much like an airplane, it is a small theater and we needed to go early to get a good seat.

I lost.

As it turned out, even leaving early, we did not get that good a seat, we were forced to choose a seat up front in the second row.  I don’t mind sitting way up front, especially with these new modern theaters.  Every seat has lots of room and they are so comfortable it is sometimes difficult to stay awake.  The seats also tilt back and have a foot rest just like a comfortable lounge chair.

We settled into our seats well before show time and the theater was almost empty.  Then she came in.  She was a complainer.  Worse, she was a complainer who needed validation from others.  Her seat was in the first row, directly in front of our seats.

“These seats are too close!”  She complained first to her daughter, then to Mrs. C and then to everyone who entered the theater. 

Mrs. C told her it was not too bad because the seats adjusted and you didn’t have to crane your neck.

“This seat button does not work!”

Mrs. C showed her how to push the button.

“I hate these seats, they are too close, maybe we could just take another seat back further; are people really coming in for those seats.”

The daughter responded, “They were not available because they were paid for.”

“There is so much leg room, why is there so much leg room?  They should have used less leg room so they could have put the seats back further.” 

Then directly to me, “Don’t you think there is too much leg room?”

So far everyone she spoke to validated her complaints, because they didn’t really want to get into an argument.  Mrs. C anticipating my response gave me an elbow. 

It didn’t work.

“Actually I like my seat, I love the leg room, and I’m pretty sure it is too late for anyone to change the layout 15 minutes before the movie starts.”  I got a harder elbow.

“I don’t care,” I said in a whisper intentionally just a little too loud, “I want to enjoy the movie, and the complaining about the seats is starting to piss me off.”

“WELL! I was just saying!”

“Yes, I know, and I am just responding.”

The complainer did not stop, but at least she no longer addressed her complaints in our direction.  Then she moved over to seats still in the front row, but all the way on the side; worse seats in my opinion, but I said nothing.

“These seats are a little better she told her daughter.”

Don’t you know, the correct patrons of those seats came in later and not wanting to say anything took the seats behind the complainer. When the movie started the people who had those assigned seats came in and the non-complainers had to move to the seats directly in front of us, the complainer’s assigned seats. 

(Is this too complicated? Never mind it is not that important.)

While this was happening there was another seat battle behind me.  I did not look, I did not want to get involved, but there was a lot of  “Fuck this” and “Fuck you” and “Bull shit” going on.  Then I heard “Fuck it, I don’t want the seats” and two people apparently stomped out.

Complainer lady saw this and saw there were now two empty seats further back and immediately grabbed them.

“These are much better, but they are still too close and why is there so much leg room, and shouldn’t the first people in get their choice of seats and…”

Several people shushed her and we were able to enjoy the movie.

After the movie was over, both of us made a trip to the rest room.  When Mrs. C came out she was shaking her head.

“Mrs. Complainawitz is in there and she is bitching to anyone who will listen about how bad the seats are and how they should change the design of the theater…she will not shut up.”

“Well she came close to ruining the movie for me.”

“I told you we should have gone to the 2:00 showing!”

At least she didn’t call me a jerk.