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Sunday, March 20, 2016


This cranky re-run is from March 2013
I was watching the TV show “Cops” the other day and it became crystal clear to me that I would be a lousy cop.

I do not like or know how to shoot a gun, so that would be bad.  I am a confirmed chicken and do not like confrontation, so that would be bad.  I am not that fast a runner, so if there was a chase that would be bad.  I cannot wear a suit without getting it wrinkled or stained, my shoes never looked polished never mind spit shined, so that would be bad.  All these factors would make me a lousy cop, but the number one reason that was driven home to me while watching the show was I believe every perpetrator’s excuse.

In this particular episode, cops arrived at the scene of a shooting.  The alleged perpetrator was found with a pistol in his hand.  The pistol was smoking.  A man who was hit by a grazing shot to the leg was screaming and pointing at the perp, “That’s the guy!  He shot me.  Arrest him!

The cops grab the man and disarm him.  They put him in cuffs, pat him down and find a bag of cocaine.  

“What’s this?”

“Man I ain’t never seen that before.  I don’t know nuthin.  I was walking down the street, I hear a gun shot and then this dude bumps into me and runs away.  Next thing I know he put this gun in my hand, and he must have dropped that bag of coke in my pocket.”

The victim steps in.

“Officer this guy was trying to take my watch, I resisted and he pulled a gun.  It went off and grazed my leg here.”

“Naw man, you crazy it was the guy…the guy what bumped into me.  He went that way, ran like a mother-whater!”

As the cops were throwing him into their patrol car and doing that Miranda thing I’m thinking, 

“Hey it could be.  Maybe someone else shot the guy and planted the coke and the smoking gun on this poor sap.  Why not?  The guy that was shot could be in shock and misinterpreted the events.  How can the police be sure he isn’t telling the truth?  Shouldn’t they run after and look for the guy who planted the gun on the perp?"

It’s probably a good thing I’m not a cop.


  1. ...and wbat with all the crap that cops have to put up with you'd be that much more cranky

  2. Cops have to be hard headed and have the ability to think ahead of the criminal. In actual fact they think the same but the cop has to be quicker.

  3. If your city has a civilian police academy you should is a real eye-opener. Lear about patrol, narcotics, K-9, SWAT, intelligence, investigation, traffic, etc. Better yet, ask if you can go on a "ride along" one shift. There is a whole different world out there that you've never even imagined sitting in your comfortable middle class easy chair. It's shocking!

    No, I couldn't be a cop either. Thank goodness there are people who can.

  4. Another thing, it all hits home when you're getting your "ride along" briefing and the cop shows you the the switch that unlocks the squad car shotgun holder and tells you "if it all hits the fan, grab this an defend yourself." Gulp!

  5. It's scary out there, and no, i couldn't deal with it. Not because i would believe every excuse, but because the fact that people can be so evil to one another breaks my heart.

  6. you made me laugh with your portrait of words you used to describe your lousy looks

    i think what makes a cop lousy in real means is being dishonest to his duty

  7. Admire those that choose law enforcement as their career; I couldn't be one either. I think I'd be too gullible and believe a lot of stories that were not true out there.


  8. I was a cop and I rarely believed anything I heard. Not from the populace and not from some cops. It's not that hard to find the facts. In fact it's far easier than you may think.

    I am so glad I'm retired. The way cops are treated anymore is horrible at best. There is more crime, more badness everywhere and the cops are being handcuffed often.

    I'm glad you decided on the career you had.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  9. Hi Joeh,

    We have two cops in the family and some of the horror stories I have heard from them would make your hair turn grey (if it hasn't already)!

    I'm with you - I would never be and COULD never be a cop!




  10. Ha ha, you are absolutely right on your abilities. I am with you except that part about believing the stories. Mainly I am just completely nonviolent and a huge chicken. I did date a cop once and loved to ask him how his day went. Being a cop is not boring.

  11. I'm with you, Joeh. I could never be a cop either.

  12. I don't think I'd make a good cop either.

  13. Gosh. Do you even like donuts?

  14. I don't think I'd make the cut either. I'm kind of a wimp...well actually, that's probably sugar-coating it. I am a wimp.

  15. I'd be more likely to take in the perp, the victim AND do a nieghbourhood sweep for "the guy who bumped into me".
    Arrest everybody then sort it out later.


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