THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Saturday, March 26, 2016
STUPID HEADLINES 032716
STUPID HEADLINES 032716
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes
Man charged with hate crime in
Iowa City says he's 'allergic to black people' –If he lives in Iowa City, How does he know?
Easter bunny in mall brawl – Thishappened
in New Jersey, not Florida,(sorry Pixel) I
have no comment that can top this line from the story:
“The video showed the man wearing the body suit
of the bunny costume -- but not the head -- fighting with the dad before
security pulled the two men apart. A few seconds later, the man in the bunny
costume appeared again, threw off his white bunny gloves and hurled more
I’ll bet you never thought you’d see a story
with "punches" and “white bunny gloves” in the same sentence!
Jared Fogle reportedly beaten up in prison – I
Man who was
arrested for sex on Vegas Ferris wheel shot dead near strip club – I’ve been told that the “Big Wheel”
had the worst odds in Vegas, but I didn’t know they were this bad!
spill on Florida highway after trucks crash – I think this is similar to
how Reese’s candy was invented.
Man in Seattle tree comes down, ending 24-hour standoff – I’m
pretty sure the tree wasn’t going to blink.
Rare Sumatran rhino discovered in Indonesian Borneo – It
was sent back, as it was requested medium rare.
Jared Loughner sues, Gabrielle Giffords, seeks $25M – I am
changing my mind on the value of capital punishment.
Yes, that Jared Loughner
Loretta Lynch Wants to
Censor Climate Skeptics – Am I the only one who reads
this and wonders when did the “Coal Miner’s Daughter” become so political?
Kindergarten play reportedly axed after parents fight over seating
arrangements – “It’s
my seat”…“is not”… “is too”… “I called
it”… “well you’re a big fat doody-head”… “no you’re a
big fat doody-head.” And those were the grown-ups.
North Carolina man arrested for not returning a VHS tape - 14 years
later – Not
returning the video is a misdemeanor, but he could be in big trouble for not
Supermarket chain forced to change name of 'rape yellow' paint after
complaint – Paint is now called “Head smashed in with a
baseball bat Yellow.”
Why are you reading this, you should be celebrating the most important non-stupid headline of all time...HAPPY EASTER!!