STUPID HEADLINES 032716
It is time again for
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| WHAT? |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes
sophomoric comments.
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Man charged with hate crime in
Iowa City says he's 'allergic to black people' – If he lives in Iowa City, How does he know?
Easter bunny in mall brawl – This happened
in New Jersey, not Florida, (sorry Pixel) I
have no comment that can top this line from the story:
“The video showed the man wearing the body suit
of the bunny costume -- but not the head -- fighting with the dad before
security pulled the two men apart. A few seconds later, the man in the bunny
costume appeared again, threw off his white bunny gloves and hurled more
punches.”
I’ll bet you never thought you’d see a story
with "punches" and “white bunny gloves” in the same sentence!
Jared Fogle reportedly beaten up in prison – I
don’t care!
Man who was
arrested for sex on Vegas Ferris wheel shot dead near strip club – I’ve been told that the “Big Wheel”
had the worst odds in Vegas, but I didn’t know they were this bad!
Beer, chips
spill on Florida highway after trucks crash – I think this is similar to
how Reese’s candy was invented.
Man in Seattle tree comes down, ending 24-hour standoff – I’m
pretty sure the tree wasn’t going to blink.
Rare Sumatran rhino discovered in Indonesian Borneo – It
was sent back, as it was requested medium rare.
Jared Loughner sues, Gabrielle Giffords, seeks $25M – I am
changing my mind on the value of capital punishment.
Kindergarten play reportedly axed after parents fight over seating
arrangements – “It’s
my seat”… “is not”… “is too”… “I called
it”… “well you’re a big fat doody-head”… “no you’re a
big fat doody-head.” And those were the grown-ups.
North Carolina man arrested for not returning a VHS tape - 14 years
later – Not
returning the video is a misdemeanor, but he could be in big trouble for not
rewinding.
Supermarket chain forced to change name of 'rape yellow' paint after
complaint – Paint is now called “Head smashed in with a
baseball bat Yellow.”
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Why are you reading this, you should be celebrating the most important non-stupid headline of all time...HAPPY EASTER!!Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Because I'm Jewish & I'm reading this on Saturday--Happy Easter to you!!
ReplyDeleterape = canola = yellow. *sigh*
ReplyDeletethe kindergarten one is just sad.
Beer flavored chips, sounds good with the hot wings chips.
ReplyDelete"Cops arrest white woman on warrant for black man"
ReplyDeleteIt was the middle initial that probably threw them.
I read her name as Loretta Lynn every single time.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Lynch was chosen over Tammi Wynchet.
I love your comments more than the headlines. I'm just saying.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
It must have been slow news days all over :)
ReplyDeleteI thought I had finally learned to recognize the name Loretta Lynch, but nope, I have to stop and think every time. And haha, what Nasreen Iqbal said!
ReplyDeleteI'm a bad, bad, bad person.
ReplyDeleteI recognized the name, Loretta Lynch, but I could not remember who she was.
I was trying, mentally, to connect her with Charles Manson.
Love your comment on the Vegas Ferris Wheel.
ReplyDeleteThe blossoms of the rapeseed plant are bright yellow. Which might explain something...or not. The unfortunate name may be why that plant is also called canola.
ReplyDeleteJared Loughner suing Gabby Giffords?? Good grief. If you were still playing the game, I'd say that one had to be false. Horrified that it is not. Why can't someone beat him up like they did Jared?
ReplyDeleteA blessed and beautiful Easter to you and your family! Most of these are funny, although a few are just sad.
ReplyDeleteApparently, the other prisoners have a slogan for Subway Jared: BEAT FRESH!
ReplyDeleteAfter hearing about that never-returned VHS tape, I'm worried there might a warrant out for my arrest. I once didn't pay a late fee...(it was THEIR fault - brought back two movies on the same day, one got checked in by the store, the other one didn't get checked in until two days later).
ReplyDeleteWill you post bail for me?
I hate it when the readers comments are funnier than mine!
ReplyDeleteTough times, if your name is Jared, I guess. . .
ReplyDelete