I NEED TO GET OUT MORE - PART TWO
The Annoying Talking Lady
If you missed Part one, you can find it here @ http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2015/12/i-need-to-get-out-more-part-one.html
When we boarded the plane we sat directly behind a 40ish blonde lady who was probably once a high school cheerleader. Next to her was a dapper grey haired African American gentleman, who had one physical flaw (more on this tomorrow.)
The ex-cheerleader had her hair up into a ridiculous Woody Woodpecker kind of topnotch. Like the cartoon woodpecker, this lady would not shut up. She was fascinated with herself. She was wild, she was crazy, she just did so many outrageous wild things and was just a fun lady...in her mind. If you were stuck listening to her, you knew she was just a giant asshole who thought she was the most interesting person in the world.
I guess if much of your life guys listened to your every stupid word because you were cute and they thought they could get in your pants, you start to think you are fascinating.
The African American gentleman sitting next to her had no interest in getting lucky with this motor mouth, I think he just wanted to take a nap. Unfortunately he was just too nice and too polite to ask her to shut up, to feign sleep, or excuse himself to read a book. Instead he encouraged her with a polite laugh and comment after each fascinating story. He kept giving her an opening to start a new story, and she was not one to turn down an opening.
After forty-five minutes of her chatting, I was lucky enough to nap for an hour. When I awoke I could not believe she was still at it. Mrs. C confirmed that there had been no let up, and she seemed certain to continue for the last hour of the flight.
I could take it no longer. I leaned forward and tapped the gentleman on the shoulder.
“Excuse me sir, but there is an empty seat next to a crying infant in aisle seven. The seat is empty because the baby barfed, but I believe it has mostly been cleaned up, if you asked the stewardess I’ll bet she would let you change seats!”
Well, actually I didn’t do any of that, but I sure wanted to!
Tomorrow, “The Rogue Eyebrow Hair dude.”