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Sunday, December 13, 2015

I NEED TO GET OUT MORE - PART ONE


I NEED TO GET OUT MORE - PART ONE

The Annoying Important Business Dude

Just when I think I’m running out of blog material, Mrs. C and I go on vacation and I meet interesting/annoying people and suddenly I have material.  I guess I just need to get out more.

Today (12-4) we hopped on a plane for Florida where we will spend a few days before going on a cruise to Key West and then Mexico.  I am not fond of cruises, so we will see…more material on the way.

On just the plane trip alone, I observed three interesting people.

The first was the super busy, super important annoying business dude.  This jerk was waiting in line to board, priority boarding of course, and he was yakking on the cell phone.

“So far it has been a good trip, but I’m a little pissed today as I could not get upgraded.  Yeah, yeah, I know, sometimes you have to blend with the little people.  Listen did you go over the contracts with Al?...NO… NO! You can’t accept that…Listen, you tell that numb nutz that without that clause there is no deal!”

It was really annoying listening to this windbag hollering on the phone trying to impress the crowd of waiting plane boarders.  When he finally got off the phone, I pulled out my cell and started talking very loudly to no one.

“What?  Listen, start a rumor that the deal is not going through, then SELL! SELL everything and then go short some more, just keep selling.  Yes, you heard me dammit, SELL!  When the price hits 25 stop selling, announce that the deal is going through after all, and BUY!  Buy all you can get up to 30.  Yes I’m sure, just do it!”

Then I fake hung up and said to the annoying important business dude,

“Jeez, sometimes I don’t know why I keep him around.”

Well, actually I didn’t do any of that, but I sure wanted to!


Tomorrow, “The Annoying Talking Lady”

18 comments:

  1. Not sure if this is a "thing" or not, but I've heard tell of these little gizmos that knock out a cell signal from a few feet away. Quite illegal methinks. There are times I wish I had one.

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  2. Annoying is too nice of a word for people like that.

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  3. Whenever you run out of stupid people to star in your headlines, just hop on a plane and tell us about who you meet!
    LOL Hilarious!

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  4. The Imaginary Life of Walter Mitty.
    It's good to be prepared.

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  5. Hahaha
    That was good quick thinking...... if only you had done it. Next time do it but maybe it would embarrass Mrs. Cranky. I just thought of a positive reason for an alcoholic to remain on a perpetual cruise...no DUI's

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  6. Don't you wish you really had said that? Looking forward to hearing more about your trip.

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  7. Oh airports are full of self important people. Boring, self important people. Now to get to the really rich and influential people you'll not see them flying commercial. That's what I'd like to tell these boring, self important people.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday. ☺

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  8. Sometimes you wanna just stuff guys like that in their own carry-on and put them under the seat.

    I think I related a story, a few years back, about a guy GS and I couldn't lose.
    It started when we were checking in for the flight, followed us outside for a last smoke, and then the sumbitch was on our plane and the attendant had to demand he turn off his phone.
    We finally lost him at Denver.

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  9. Reminds me of the loudmouth who didn't get the service he wanted at the airline ticket counter & then loudly said, "Do you KNOW who I am?" The employee immediately got on the loudspeaker & announced, "We have a gentleman here who doesn't know who he is. If anyone can identify him, please come to Gate 12 immediately!!"

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  10. Yes, you are very unique and important, just like the other 7 billion people in the world!

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  11. Nice! Reminds me of what goes on inside my head with the help of my "Voices".

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  12. Dang, I thought I was the only one who fantasized about those "Important" calls.
    When I have the misfortune of getting a call somewhere where there are others within earshot, I find myself excusing myself to people I don't know and move off out of earshot.
    Have fun on the cruise. I've only been on one and while I had a good time, I was GLAD when it was over.

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  13. The Annoying Talking Lady? Whew! Thank goodness I haven't been on a plane for 30-something years. I don't need a report of my shenanigans posted all over the internet.

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  14. Interested in your cruise experience. As you may know, I recently came off my second cruise, this time on the med. Let me know, us know, what it was like. How was the food, etc.
    Cheers, and have fun.
    Mike

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    Replies
    1. I prefer sitting on a beach, but the cruise was good. Food was excellent, it was difficult not to overeat. They had a nice gym, but running on a treadmill when the boat rocked ever so little still was a unique feeling. It is quite remarkable how well organized the the crew is and how they kept up service and cleaning etc. Very well oiled machine. Got the feeling the staff is really over worked, I would not want a job unless it was the comedian who only worked one night on a five night cruise. I'll have to try and work up a routine.

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  15. I knew I needed to go on holiday, my inspiration has dried up lately!

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  16. You should have fake talked on your cell though Mrs. Cranky may have called you a Jerk, or laughed or both. Best to avoid conflict but I don't like people like that either.

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