THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Friday, January 25, 2013
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
When I was a
non-retired man, virtually every working day ended with one of my wives asking,
“How was your day?”My answer was the
same as every other working man’s answer when posed with that daily wifely
As sure as the
sun rises in the east, this response was then followed by thirty minutes of why
my wife had just experienced the worst day ever.
Don’t get me
wrong, I know a SAHM’s* day is no picnic.I just wonder if the average SAHM has any idea that her husband’s job
also is not a bed of roses.How could
they, we never tell them.
your day?” is wife code for “brace yourself, have I got some shit to tell
you!”Well now I am going to finally
answer that question.Skip to the next
blog if you wish, I understand, my wives would have never listened either.
“How was my
day you ask?”Here was my typical day.
woke me at 6:00 am and I hopped in the shower. After showering and shaving, I dressed using a
tee shirt I found in the dryer which was still slightly damp, but I didn’t have
time to run it through again. Dressed, I did not have time for breakfast.
into my car to find the windshield was frosted over.I did not have time to warm the car up, and
the defroster didn’t work, so I melted a hole in the frost with a Bic
lighter.With four inches of visibility
I drove for the train.
At the light
on Rt. 1, the car stalled out because the gas filter clogged again.I jumped out, pulled the gas filter and blew
out the crap causing the clog.I only
missed one light doing this so I still had a chance to catch my train.I did in fact catch the train, but only after
running full speed and hopping on just as it was pulling out of the station.It was a good day; I managed to get a
seat.I did not have time to get a paper
or coffee which I could have used to get the taste of gasoline from the filter
out of my mouth.
I almost caught a nap but first Joe “The Blind
Guy” woke me to ask if the seat was taken, and then the conductor nudged me
because he could not read the date on the ticket I had displayed in the seat
minutes we got to Newark and I changed for the Path train to downtown NYC.I did not get a seat. There were lots of
sweaty people with arm pits in my face for another twenty minutes.At 9:00 am I arrived at work just before
starting time for my job as a supervisor for a brokerage firm, processing
security orders and executions.
One of my
clerks, Lou, was late to work again and I had to reprimand him after listening
to his lame excuse.I got into a fight
with an arrogant broker who demanded I adjust the price of a trade or he would
have me fired.My boss told me if I
changed the price I would be fired.The computers
went down three different times and we had to process orders manually, which
pissed off several other brokers who demanded to know why we took so long to
enter their orders.Lunch sucked because
I had to eat it at my desk while I fought with the traders on the floor for
afternoon was pretty much the same, another five straight hours of answering
questions and arguing over the phone.There
were no breaks, there was no quiet.Telephones and high-speed printers provided a constant noise.I left the office at 6:00 pm and caught the
Path train back to Newark.The train had
no heat, but I did get a seat next to a dude who kept falling asleep and
nodding off on my shoulder.His breath
rivaled that of a St. Bernard.
from Newark to home was uneventful, and I was lucky enough to have a seat
handle to hold on to while standing all the way to New Brunswick.At the station I ran to the car to get out of
the lot before all the other commuters jammed the exit.Four stop lights and my usual 20 minute drive
home and I walk in the back door.At
7:45 pm I was finally home. I made the
monumental mistake of asking, “What’s for dinner?” and got an earful about what
an insensitive ass I am for worrying about dinner without first asking my wife,
“How was your day?” Then I heard forty minutes of how miserable her day was.
down a cold dinner because everyone else had already eaten.I clean up the kitchen, help two kids with their
homework and yell at another for something he did while I was at work.
That was how
my day was. That was how my day was every
day for forty years. Well it was not
every day.On a good day the gas filter
didn’t clog and the car didn’t stall.
*SAHM – Stay at home mom (For Cranky’s friends who have yet to crawl out
from under the rock.)