To Vax or not to Vax

 

To Vax or not to Vax

A Cranky Opinion for

CRANKY OPINION FRIDAY

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with no expertise or credibility in the topic opined.  Dissenting opinions are welcome, but they are wrong.  As always, I ask for no name-calling in comments, and that means you, you big stupid-head!

Yes, that is the question. 

As one who leans right of the conventional wisdom to just do as you are damn told because smart people always know best, to me it was in fact a question.  To many people it is not a question.  Science says get the vaccine.  If you pause and think first then you are a moronic Neanderthal who deserves to be culled from the herd.  You are particularly despised because you threaten the herd.  So, join the herd or be shunned.

After thinking about it, I decided to get the shot…actually both shots.  If you ask for my uneducated opinion I would say “Get the shot.” But then I am a moronic Neanderthal who actually questioned the decision.  Not for very long, but I did question the decision.

For a while, getting the shot was difficult.  Demand far exceeded supply.  People bragged about getting it like they boasted about having toilet paper back in April 2020.

The big question today, now that it is no longer difficult to get the shot, is when will we reach herd immunity?  I hear it will take 70% of the country to achieve herd immunity and everyone who balks at the shot puts that goal in jeopardy.

My question is, “what herd?”

This is a world-wide pandemic.  If the USA reaches 70% vaccinated and the rest of the world is at 5% (which it currently is not even 5%) then have we really reached herd immunity?  And if we don’t reach herd immunity until the rest of the world catches up, then what is the big deal if some knuckle-dragging backwards thinking moron in Podunk, NJ does not get the shot? (Sarcasm font inserted where appropriate)

Almost 50% of the country has been vaccinated.  Probably 85% of the most vulnerable have been vaccinated.  We have herd immunity; it is up to others to decide whether or not to join the herd.

Look, this thing is scary, in the beginning it was EXTRA scary.  We now know a bit more about how to get Covid, or not get Covid.  Doctors know better how to treat Covid.  We know that outside is safer than indoors.  We know that crowds of people in your face singing or yelling (bars) is not very safe.  We know that masks don’t hurt.  We know that gloves don’t help.

This country is great because people have always questioned herd mentality.  Perhaps some are equating herd mentality with herd immunity.  Most will eventually discern the difference.  

Anyway, I got the shot.  My wife got the shot.  Everyone on my bowling team got the shot.  Everyone in my family got or is getting the shot.  Everyone I know is getting or has gotten the shot.  My herd has or will have immunity.  We are not all in this together.

I recommend everyone join the herd.

Your decision.

For now, instead of worrying about the 30% of our country who are hesitant to join the herd, we, as a country should be doing all we can to help other parts of the world get access to the vaccine and therapeutics.  We give other countries billions of dollars every year and many of those countries hate us.  They probably still hate us because the money goes only into pockets of the powerful.  If we help other countries join the world-wide “HERD” it might actually buy us some legitimate goodwill, along with making us all more safe.  

That would be a good thing.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky!

The Crickets?

 

The Crickets?

 

I’ve been on a bit of a Buddy Holly kick lately.  I bought a new electric guitar and Buddy’s early stuff is pretty east to play…and fun.  It got me to thinking about “The Crickets.”  Buddy Holly was billed as Buddy Holly and “The Crickets.”  Several years after Buddy sadly died in a plane crash, I saw “The Crickets” play in Greenwich Village, NY.  I guess they were pretty good, I was young and with a group that was more interested in booze than in “The Crickets.” 

OK, I am a follower, not a leader.

Anyway, Buddy Holly has always been a favorite of mine.  I have heard that “The Beatles” were greatly influenced by Buddy Holly. 

He had about 15 huge hits in only a few years before he was taken from us.  All his music seemed to evolve.  He was only getting better and better…much like the Beatles.  

There is no telling what music we lost with his death, he was an absolute genius, a title often thrown around willy-nilly for entertainers, but not for Buddy.  He was a true genus.

Anyway, while trying to wail away at his early music I have thought about “The Crickets.”  They were musicians, certainly more than I, but they were also just locals that happened to be part of Buddy’s early crowd of friends.  Like a local garage band where one member just happened to be a genius.

It must have been difficult for “The Crickets” to keep up with Buddy.  They were probably happy with a three-chord progression with a bass, rhythm, lead guitar and drum band, while Buddy heard different progressions and a variety of back up instruments.  Buddy wanted to create and  tour the country. “The Crickets” were happy with local bars and hearing a few of their records on the radio.

What is you point Cranky?

I guess I just find it interesting how timing in this world can lead to success.   

“The Crickets,” an average bunch of local musicians will forever be tied with and be famous because they were lucky enough to get their start with a musical genius.

Mickey Mantle was a baseball great.  What if he was born 100 years earlier?  He might have ended up a dirt-poor farmer, or lung damaged coal miner.  What if Bill Gates was born in Kansas before computers, or even electricity?  He would probably have been the worst farmer in Kansas and a complete failure.

As the landing gear on my plane of life is getting ready to drop, I wonder…was I born at the wrong time?  Did I just not meet the right people? Has the technology that might unlock my hidden pure genius simply not yet been invented?  Could I have been someone?

I am not that good on guitar, but if I was hanging around Buddy Holly at the right time, I might have been a “Cricket”!

Some Stuff is just no Fun to Buy

 

Some Stuff is just no Fun to Buy

 

A few years ago we purchased a new fridge/freezer.  Some things are just no fun to buy. 

A new car is fun.  Everyone on the block used to drop by when you got a new car…no more, but you can still show them off and that new car smell alone makes them a big deal and fun to buy.  A new large screen TV is fun to buy and enjoyable every time you turn it on.

A new fridge…yawn.

We moved the old fridge to the garage.  The extra fridge was the best part of getting a new fridge, but still it was not an exciting purchase.

Last week we replaced the old garage fridge with a new garage fridge.  The old one was clunky, I did not like how we had to store frozen goods, they were hard to get to.  The seal was crappy and we had a frost problem and it probably was not too efficient.  So, we are happy with the new one, it does improve our life a bit, but still…yawn.

I don’t like to spend money.  I am tight as a drum.  If not for Mrs. C we would seldom go out to eat, take vacations or replace old crap.  I like bang for my buck, something that will keep giving, stuff that is just fun.  A new bowling ball, new golf clubs, you know, fun stuff.

When I spend money, I prefer it to be on something I will use time and time again and always look forward to using it.

Mrs. C said I could get something fun for my 75^th birthday.

You know, like this!

 Fun stuff!

Because you can never have too many guitars!

CARS IN MY LIFE

 CARS IN MY LIFE

Cranky and Pop in 1963 with my 1958 MGA 

I got nothing, so it's re-run time

Some things in life you just do not forget, your dogs, your cars, your ex-wives.  In an older post I have chronicled my dogs http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2013/08/dogs-in-my-life.html, I try to forget my ex-wives.   Here is my life as represented in the cars I grew up with or have owned.

1951 Buick - Pop’s- traded in 1959 for the Ford Galaxy.  It took us from NY to California in ‘51 and back in ’55.  (Summers and salt air at Jersey shore took its toll…traded in ’59.)

1955 VW Bug – Pop’s- It was totaled in an accident 1961 by my oldest brother (It was either brake failure or too much beer.)

1959 Ford Galaxy – Pop’s (Mine for a while in College) Older brother almost totaled running a red light in ‘60. I pretty much just ran into the ground.

1962 Pontiac Tempest – Mom’s - Broke down on a ski trip to NE 1967 with my older brother,  had to replace the fuel pump, don’t remember what happened to it after that.

1958 MGA Bought used in ’63 – Broke down 1967…scrapped (Still makes me cry thinking about it)

1964 VW Bug – Pop’s – Stolen 1968

1959 Volvo – Not mine, my friend Charley’s, but we spent a few summers in it not picking up chicks.  The engine caught fire on a test run when Charley was trying to sell it.  He told the prospective buyer, “It’s never done that before!”

1968 VW Bug – Sold for $50 in 1994 (it was still running great)

1972 AMC Hornet Station Wagon – Traded in 1981. (It was a dog, but all I could afford. Four years at $30 a month.)

1981 Honda Accord – The engine ran great, the body and chassis dissolved 1994.

1976 Cadillac Seville- (bought from mom in 1986)-Sold 1988 for $300. (A little beat up, but my first taste of luxury.)

1988 Mercury Sable station Wagon – Son took to Colorado 1993 and ran it into the ground...karma for me and the '59 Ford.

1990 Jeep Wrangler – Traded in 2007 (Ex-wife ruined clutch…did not believe in neutral at stop lights. Also major rear end dents…see 2006 Sequoia.)

198? Saab - Came with second wife, clutch turned to mush (see 1990 Jeep Wrangler...riding the clutch not good), gave to charity for tax break.

1993 Saab – Bought used in ’97 Traded in 2000 (Stalled all the time, would not idle…best mechanics could not fix.  A cousin suggested the gas pedal cable connection had stretched; shortened the connection and it never stalled again.)

1998 Jeep Cherokee – Traded in 2006 (Do not miss it, it stalled going around sharp turns periodically…not good.)

2006 Toyota Sequoia – Lost in divorce, Son drives today. (Can be recognized by matching huge dents on rear bumper…reverse is not ex-wife’s strong suit.)

2007 Jeep Wrangler - Still running…love, love.

2004 Toyota Sequoia - Came with my third wife, traded in '12 for a Forerunner (The car; wife still runs good.)

2012 Toyota Forerunner- Still like new. (Wife will not let me drive it.)

My next and last car (unless my wife lets me drive longer) a new Cadillac CTS Sedan…Year yet to be determined. 

2018 Honda HR-V...I was too cheap to pull the trigger on a Cadillac.  Lease is due up soon. 

Stupid Headlines 042521

 

Stupid Headlines 042521

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments

U.S. House of Representatives approves cannabis banking bill – Why would someone want to put their pot in a bank?

Burger King drive-thru workers trick drunk driver into waiting for police – Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, the driver’s so drunk we’re just fed up, take him a-way from Burger King. 

Taco Bell testing vegan meat alternative – Vegan meat? Is that anything like jumbo shrimp?

Creature lurking in tree terrorizing Poland town turns out to be a croissant stuck in a tree – It took three people to remove it, one to hold the croissant, two to chop down the tree.

Trained dogs can smell coronavirus in your pee – So no swab, just pee on a pup?

Short sleep contributes to greater dementia risk, study suggests – Or dementia keeps you awake…one of those…the study isn’t sure.  How helpful is that?

Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years, getting paid full salary – Ah yeah, I’ve got a sore throat and a slight fever, so I’m going to have to call in sick for, oh…about 15 years!

Man hurls rabid bobcat after it attacks him and his wife – Wife was fortunate her husband was a former Olympic Bobcat Hurler.

Oklahoma passes a law that can protect drivers who run over protesters – Well that should cut down on protests.

Caitlyn Jenner announces run for governor of California – If you were to tell me years ago, someone would run for Governor of California, that was once an Olympic gold medal winner, I’d have said you’re crazy!

 

Feel-good Story of the Week

I love this one!

 Shaquille O’Neil Hall of Fame Basketball player

Shaq was out shopping when he saw a man buying an engagement ring – then he bought it for him - This man is special, an extra successful athlete, businessman and personality…he is also a really nice person.

Shaq said the man buying the ring was a "young kid, a hardworking guy"

and the ring was on layaway. "I said, 'You know what, tell your girlfriend I got it.

Take care of her.' And at first, he didn't want to take it,"

Shaq said. He told the man not to worry, he does it all the time.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/shaq-engagement-ring/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Picture is Worth $29.22

 

A Picture is Worth $29.22

Recently I have been enlarging the width of our driveway with black 16x16 pavers.  I have been doing it on the sly, because Cynthia, the local HOA queen probably would say it is against regulations.  The thing is, last fall, the HOA gave us a new driveway.  Yes, the old one was cracked and a bit of an eyesore, but it was just fine with me. 

The new driveway is at least 16 inches narrower than the original driveway.  You can not get in or out of the car without walking on the grass (sometimes mud.)  It is difficult to enter the driveway without running over the curb and onto some of the grass, which creates the aforementioned sometimes mud.

So, I am taking matters into my own hands and enlarging the driveway with the pavers.  If the HOA objects, there will be a war.  The pavers are not permanent.  I am doing the job on the sly because I am non-confrontational, however, If the HOA wants to redo my driveway to its original width, I will not object.

Anyway, we purchased 6 pavers at Lowes.  There is no price marked on each paver at Lowes, so Mrs. C took a picture of the description and the price to show the cashier and save the time of a “price check.”  Mrs. C is smart that way.

A few days later we realized that we needed three more pavers.  I was sent to Lowes to buy them with instructions to remember the picture trick again.  I loaded up the pavers and snapped a picture of the price.  

They were $8.75 a paver.

That seemed high to me.  I double checked.  On one shelf were the 16x16 pavers and a price 3.88 with an arrow to the pavers.  On the same price indicator was an arrow pointing down to larger pavers which cost 8.75 each.  I had taken a picture of the wrong paver price. My pavers were $3.88.

No harm no foul, I re-took the picture of the correct paver price.  The cashier thanked me for being so smart to take the picture.  I advised her that my wife was the smart one who told me to be sure to get a picture.

When I got home, I told Mrs. C that the cashier thanked me for being smart with the picture taking and I gave her credit for the idea.  I then told her how I almost screwed up and took the wrong picture. 

“Fortunately, I caught my error or I would have been charged $3.87 too much for each paver.”

“Wait, how much were the pavers?”

“$3.88.”

“We paid $8.75 each for the others we bought.”

“No way!”

“I must have done what you almost did and the cashier did not catch the error.”

“I could go back and try to explain, they might believe me and refund the money…naw…it is worth $29.22 to finally have something to hold over on you.”

“So, now I am the jerk?”

“Only until the next time I do something stupid.”

I take some delight in Mrs. C’s mistake.  Is that wrong?

 

 

My Wife Just Knows Stuff

 

My Wife Just Knows Stuff

 My wife does not like to waste words.  When I ask a question she often responds,

“You should know!”

She will say this even if it only requires a yes or no answer.  It annoys her, because

“I should know.”

The thing is, she, and perhaps all those who share the same chromosome configuration, has such a strong intuition/perception ability that she does not realize that “I should know” only would apply if in fact I had that same intuition/perception capability.

I clap my hands with cupped palms; I do not have that capability.

Allow me this recent example of her uncanny perception superpower.

The other night after dinner Mrs. C was enjoying a desert pudding dish.  This was the night before she was to get her first vaccine shot at 9:00 AM. 

Readers of this blog may know that Mrs. C does not scoop her pudding.  She dips her spoon in the pudding and eats whatever pudding sticks to the spoon. 

She claims this technique is her way of stretching out a pudding high euphoria.

I only note that it takes forever for her to finish her pudding.  I do from time to time tease her over this.

Anyway, while she was enjoying her pudding I casually asked her,

“What time is your vaccine appointment tomorrow?” 

This question was a set up for telling her she might be late because she takes so long to eat her pudding.

Within a nanosecond of my asking the question she responded,

“I hate you!”

“Why?”

“You should know!”

“What do you mean?”

“I know damn well you were about to make fun of me for the time I take eating pudding…you were going to say I would be late for my appointment tomorrow!”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes. Yes I do!”

Now I know why my wife thinks “I should know.” I should know, because in Mrs. C’s head every thing is so clear and obvious.  She ascertains information by inflection, facial expression, body language and experience. 

No words are needed.

I was about to respond that I hate her as well, when she interrupted,

“I know; you hate me too!”

“Yes, sometimes I do.”

Not really.

 

 

REGULATIONS

 REGULATIONS

Another re-run from my first year of blogging.  I think I have mellowed.

I am in the process of selling my house and I can only say thank God for government regulations.  There have been so many changes since the last time I went through this process, I only wonder how I survived without these new regulations.

The first new regulation I had to contend with was the radon test.  Apparently if your house is above a rock there is the chance of dangerous radioactive release which can cause cancer, herpes and hiccups.  My neighbor sold his house three years ago and failed the radon test.  He had to install $1000 worth of anti-radon equipment which re-circulated air out of his basement until the radon level was below the 2 radiles per nano-fart level. 

Fortunately I passed this test.  Placing the collector next an open window may have helped; an electric fan may have also aided in the process.  I must say it is somewhat disturbing that the government was concerned about the safety of the new owner next door, but does not give a poop about me or my family.  They only demand a radon test when I want to move.

Next, an inspector determined that there was an abandoned oil tank on my property.  Buried and apparently forgotten at least twenty years before I bought the house, this is suddenly a major health concern.  Nobody cared while I lived there, but now it is a big health concern.  It costs $2500 to dig up the tank, determine there was no contamination, fill the tank with sand and cover it up again.  Wow, now I feel safe, and the drinking water of the whole state of New Jersey is now safe.

Finally I had to get a certificate from the town confirming the house had adequate carbon monoxide/ smoke detectors and a portable fire extinguisher at hand.  The house does have an extinguisher in the kitchen; there is a smoke detector on the first and second floors, and a carbon monoxide detector on the first floor.  This is not up to code.  Code calls for a CM and a smoke detector on all three floors and in the basement.  (Why not one in every room?)  If my house was not safe, why do I not find out until I am trying to sell and leave?  Why are these codes only important when you sell?  Why doesn’t it worry anyone that my house isn’t safe until I will no longer be in it? 

If these regulations are so important, shouldn’t they be adhered to and implemented before I sell my house?  It cost $125 for my CM/Smoke detector certificate.  There was no inspection, I only had to sign-off that everything was up to code.  That is one expensive piece of worthless paper.

In New Jersey we used to have our cars inspected every year.  The inspection station checked horn, wipers, headlights, turn indicators, breaks, break lights, steering, shocks, tires and exhaust emissions.  Lines for this yearly exam were hours long, and the average car failed about 40% of the time.  When the state needed to cut costs, suddenly the inspection was only needed every two years, five years for new cars, and they only test the emissions.  All of a sudden it is not important if my car is safe or not, but let’s make sure we don’t pollute.

Please politicians, give me more regulations.  I am clearly too stupid to survive without you holding my hand.               

Stupid Headlines 041821

 

Stupid Headlines 041821

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

 

Controversial lawn decoration ignites battle within neighborhood – Neighbor did not like a small statue of a frog, I’m going to take a wild guess that this neighbor does not actually have a life.

World’s longest bunny stolen from former Playboy model – The bunny is recognized by a cute little wiggly tail.  The missing rabbit is described as a really big rabbit.

Town taken over by large herd of goats – Tom brady, Michael Jordon, Tiger Woods and Wayne Gretsky all visit the same town?

California promotes 'dismantling racism in mathematics' – I know I am old, but this just does not add up for me.

San Diego Zoo worker bitten by venomous snake with no antivenom – Why would a venomous snake have antivenom?  In case they change their mine?

Woman duped into thinking she was engaged to Prince Harry – Apparently it was Prince Harry of Nigeria.

Brett Favre wants sports, politics to be separated – Because a filibuster in the huddle would just not work.

Kraft is giving away cheese-scented incense so fans can ‘breathe cheesy – Nothing like breathing “Who cut the cheese” scented incense.

Garden gnome shortage strikes due to pandemic - Fortunately I stocked up on garden gnomes before the pandemic hit.

7 useful tools for a quick and easy digital spring cleaning – No need to read if you don’t do windows.

Feel-Good Headline of the week

Reporter Goes To Shelter To Do A Story, Dog Hugs Him Tight Till He Adopts Her – I’m just a mush for a good dog story.

 

https://iheartdogs.com/rescue-dog-hugs-news-reporter-until-he-adopts-her/

 

 

Bonus Dog Story

Stray Dog Found Curled Up In Snow Keeping Orphaned Kittens Warm – Like I said…mush.

https://www.thedodo.com/close-to-home/stray-dog-found-curled-up-in-snow-keeping-orphaned-kittens-warm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The trouble with Expert Advice

 

The trouble with Expert Advice

A good man, but sometimes...

 I was watching a show recently where a doctor was giving expert advice on dealing with Covid-19.   It was frightening.  I wondered,

“How much of this advice is scary because it is ‘cover your ass’ advice that the doctor is giving.”

In other words, is his advice slanted such that there is no way for him to be accused of not taking the virus serious, being ridiculed, or even taken to court?

Example:

Years ago pregnant women might be told that if they had a glass of wine a day it would be fine.  No one was encouraged to drink while pregnant, but in many doctors opinion moderation was reasonably safe.  Unfortunately, some women got plastered daily and when the baby had issues claimed the doctor said it was OK.  In order to protect themselves, a doctor now will not take any chances.  He will tell pregnant women absolutely no alcohol. 

I am not advising pregnant women to drink, just giving an example where medical advice is slanted to protect the doctor by not necessarily giving his actual  medical opinion.  Most people recognize when the doctors advice is as much to protect himself as to give accurate information and the result is a diminishing value towards a doctors advice.

While listening to the scary Covid expert (and yes I know Covid is serious and dangerous) I envisioned the same type of advice applied to crossing a street.

Moderator: “Tell me Dr. Doom, these days, is it safe to cross the street?”

Dr. Doom: “Well that depends on who is crossing the street.  Studies have shown that children under six should not cross the street without adult supervision.  Even with supervision, parents should be sure to look both ways for cars before crossing, and if they see a car they should wait.  There have been cases of adults crossing the street with children who have been hit by a car and it is very dangerous…it has even caused DEATH!”

Moderator: “Is there anything we can do to stay safe while crossing?”

Dr. Doom: “Along with the suggestion to always look both ways, people should wear bright clothes and at night have reflector tape.  You should only cross at an intersection, preferably one with a traffic light.  Only cross at the green light.  Make sure the green light is facing you, not ongoing traffic.  Also, while walking, always stay on the sidewalk until you need to cross.”

Moderator: “So, if you follow all these rules crossing the street is safe?”

Dr. Doom: “Safe is relative.  There have been instances of a driver losing control or running a light and pedestrians who have followed all the rules still being run over.”

Moderator: “You mean even wearing light clothes with reflector tape, looking both ways and crossing at the green can be dangerous?”

Dr. Doom: “Certainly.  You are dealing with 3000 pounds of metal traveling sometimes 70 miles an hour.  It is very dangerous.

Moderator: “What else should people do?”

Dr. Doom: “Well, if you absolutely HAVE to cross a street, in addition to wearing the correct clothes, looking both ways and waiting for the green light, you should walk fast, do not dawdle, pay attention while crossing, but and I can not stress this strongly enough, crossing the street is NEVER 100% safe.  Anything can happen.  You could slip and fall, there could be driver error, some people freeze, dogs sometimes attack…there are a number of things that can go wrong.  My advice is ‘If you do not have to cross the street, don’t!’”

Moderator: “Great advice! Thank you Dr. Doom.  

There it is folks, stay at home, it is too dangerous out there! 

Coming up after words from our sponsor, a home economic advisor tells us if it is safe to put away knives from the dishwasher.”

 

OK, OK, I get it.  Wear a mask, actually wear two masks, stay six feet from others, wash you hands often and scrub for at least 30 seconds, get tested often, get the vaccine, but then still do all of the above.  Finally, wait until experts say you can leave the house.

   

There is an instructional on street crossing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jCpBH5zehI 

 

Happy Blogaversary To Me!

 AND THE PASSWORD IS…

I have no opinion for this week's Cranky Opinion Friday. 

Instead I offer this re-run, my very first post of almost 3000 posts, on this my 

10th cranky Blogaversary 

When I was working for a major Wall Street firm I must have used at least 15 applications which required a password for access.  I would have liked to have used only one password, but that was not possible.  You would think that a company would establish one set of rules for choosing a password.  You would think wrong. 

One application required a 3-5 alpha character password; one required a 7-10 alpha character password.  Some applications required at least one uppercase character, and some required at least one numeric.  Most applications required the password be changed every month.

I used at least seven different passwords.  For those applications which were not used every day, violating the password was a given.  Unless I guessed correctly it would be three tries and you are out.  I wonder how many hours of productivity per day are wasted by employees trying to have their passwords reset.

We were always warned that choosing a password was important.  Do not pick something obvious like your birthday.  Don’t use your initials.  Don’t use the names of your wife or kids or pet or your parents or your grandparents.  Do not use any name or number that anyone could tie to you as that would be too easy for a scammer to figure out and get unauthorized access to an application.   Essentially the rule was to never choose a password that you might actually remember.

Since I could not remember the seven to ten different passwords I was required to use, all of which I was required to change monthly, the obvious solution was to record all my passwords and the associated applications on a piece of paper and leave it under my keyboard.  This also was frowned upon.

“Do not leave your list of passwords where they may be easily found!” 

OK, I cannot use passwords which I can easily remember, and when I write them down so I can remember them, I need to put the cheat-sheet in a not obvious place.  In effect, hide the list of passwords which you cannot remember in a place that you will also not remember.

I developed a secret code based on numbers and the alphabet.  Using this code, I recorded the hiding place that I could not remember which held the passwords for all the applications which I could not remember and placed it under the keyboard.  I recorded the key to the code which told me where I hid the passwords that I could not remember and hid it somewhere no one would ever suspect.  I recorder this location on a piece of paper and taped it blank side up to my keyboard.  On the blank side I wrote K2PWLcLiUtP (Key to password location code location is under this paper.)

Weeks later I was fired!  At night, my computer was broken into and an application accessed which enabled the hacker to steal sensitive information which cost the firm several million dollars.  I was fired for breaking the rules of password security.  I forgot that the password for this sensitive application was K2PWLcLiUtP.

Shit!

SMOKE DETECTOR RANT…again

 

SMOKE DETECTOR RANT…again

 I hate smoke detectors!  I know, they save lives, so yes I have smoke detectors and CO2 detectors in my home.  Does that mean I have to like them? No, it does not.

All our devices are hard wired, so once installed we are good to go…right?  Wrong!  Because a fire might actually kill the hard wired connection, all detectors also need a back-up battery.

Because the back-up battery will go bad, the detector warns you when it needs to be changed.  It warns you with a short, loud chirp.  Apparently it has been designed to emit that short loud chirp at 2:17 AM.

So every once and a while I get an elbow to my sound asleep ribs at 2:17 AM.

“I’ll get it in the morning!”

“Fix it now, I need to sleep!”

Before I go any further, I know there those that say just remember to change the batteries every time you change the clocks for Daylight Savings Time (possibly the only reason to even have a Daylight Savings Time).  These are people who don’t mind paying $20 twice a year while the batteries actually last much longer than that.  They are also people who get up early, go to bed early, have organized desks and get their teeth cleaned twice a year. 

I will not change the batteries until they chirp.  Above mentioned people will not understand that…just accept it.

Anyway, back to the chirp.

The 2:17AM chirp is always so loud and so short that it is  impossible to tell which battery needs changing.  You have to change them one at a time and wait for the chirp to stop.

Unfortunately, believe it or not, even when unplugged, and with the battery removed, the damn thing will keep chirping at several minute intervals for about ten minutes. 

I went through this exercise just last week.  The chirp did not stop and it was still impossible to tell if I got the correct detector.   I put a pillow over the device and when the nextchirp did not emit from the muffled device I decided “F*ck” it I would just change all the devices.

Changing the devices is no easy chore.  If you did it all the time it might be, but when done infrequently…let’s just say it is a pain in the backside.  While ripping down one device (we have an overkill of 6, 2 per floor) I broke a plastic attachment thing and now had to either replace it or hold it up with duct tape.  Mrs. C did not think the duct tape would be a good look.

So now at about 3:27 AM I had replaced the batteries in all the devices and the chirping stopped.  I still had to replace the hanging from the ceiling detector the next day (technically the same day).

The new detector came with a battery, but it needed to be taken out and a piece of plastic removed to activate it.  Easy-peasy…at least easy in all the other detectors. 

This one required a tiny pin to be removed from the back to allow the battery to come out.  The pin was covered in paper that matched the back of the device.  It was not easy to find and remove the paper to get to the pin which made activating the battery possible.  Once found and removed the pin was still hard to spot and once spotted difficult to grab and pull out.

After at least 25 minutes I (actually we ) finally removed the pin.  Five minutes later, the smoke detector was rewired and installed.  Mrs. C asked,

“Should we put the pin back in.”

“Sure, so then the next time at 2:17 AM the battery needs to be changed I can really lose my mind.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right, though if someone breaks in he could steal the battery because it is not protected by the useless pin.”

“That is just a risk we will have to take.”

Did I mention I hate smoke detectors?

 

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 [jh1]