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Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Is That What You’re Wearing?


Is That What You’re Wearing?




“Is that what you’re wearing?” 

What non-metro-sexual husband has never been asked that question by his wife?

Last night was bowling night.  Mrs. Cranky leaves for work before I leave for bowling.  When I came home she was upset at the shirt I was wearing.

“Is that what you wore to bowling?”

“Yes, why not?  I always bowl well with this shirt.”

“It is worn and has holes in the front and back!”

The shirt is a NY Giant jersey.  Number 88 with the name “Nicks” on the back.  It is so old that I don’t even remember who “Nicks” was.  Pretty good receiver I think, but not sure.

Why do wives care so much about what their husbands wear when they go anywhere without them? 

This was bowling for criminy sake.  Bowlers are not a group of fashion plates.  Most bowlers wear an assortment of shirts that say “I’m with stupid” or “I never met a ten pin I didn’t hate.”

Hell, professional bowlers are sponsored by “Odor Eaters” shoe inserts.  Do you think “Odor Eater” shoe-insert-people are concerned about the shirt you wear when bowling?

I know this is not just a Mrs. C. issue.

Previous wives have had similar complaints about how I dress when leaving the house alone.

I used to be chastised over wearing a paint stained white tee shirt when I went to “Home Depot.”

If in the middle of doing a chore around the house I needed a #8 hex head wood screw, my wife expected me to go upstairs and change into a nice button down shirt before I left the house. 

“In case you run into someone I know.”

“What if I run into someone I know and they want to know why I was wearing a nice button down shirt to buy a #8 hex head wood screw?”

“It’s embarrassing, that’s all.”

“Well being overdressed to buy a #8 hex head wood screw might be embarrassing to me!”

“Nothing embarrasses you!”

I will agree that going some places looking like a slob is a bad idea.

Shopping at Macy’s with a plain, torn, white tee shirt is frowned upon.  On the plus side, when I dressed like that at a nice department store, I always got good service.

Store managers would follow me all around the store and often ask if I needed help.  No matter how much I declined assistance, they stayed within eyesight to make sure I got excellent service.

Anyway, it is not worth arguing over.  From now on I will wear a nice shirt when I bowl.  Hopefully I will break-in a new “lucky” shirt.

I will continue to wear an old nasty shirt to “Home Depot.”

Button down clean shirts get no respect at “Home Depot.”


18 comments:

  1. LOL yes many of us ladies are funny that way, especially about our guys wearing teeshirts with holes in them. I hope you do break in a new lucky bowling shirt.

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  2. We try so hard to make you presentable! I would have been okay with a paint-stained tee shirt for Home Depot. Even with the old jersey for bowling. I can only imagine other outfits you've tried to sneak out of the house in. Not trying to hijack your blog, but I'm leaving a link that has a picture of the hideous shirt Hick wore for COLLEGE GRADUATION PICTURES.

    https://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/2017/12/a-day-i-wished-hick-would-literally.html

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  3. Reading this reminded me of my late husband who never cottoned on to the fact that old or over worn shirts were hidden from sight!

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  4. When I go bowling it is always in a three-piece pin striped suit with a waistcoat, bowler hat and umbrella. And a red rose in my button hole and a watch with a gold chain in my waistcoat pocket. A lot of people look at me and my elegance.

    God bless.

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  5. I've asked that question of my kids way more than my spouse.

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  6. I used to hear that from my daughter:
    _I'm going to the mall. Do you want to come with me?
    -Is that what you are wearing?
    _Yes.
    -Then no.

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  7. I think that if it wasn’t for a weather factor or a wife, men would be perfectly happy to be just naked.

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  8. Next time ask Mrs. C if your new shirt makes you look fat.

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  9. Not too concerned about what I wear in town, but the wife gets upset when I go somewhere after I go running, before I take a shower on the way home for some reason or other :-) She claims that I have a certain aroma about me. Although I never seem to have a problem with people standing too close too me when I am wandering around the store or in line at check-out, which is fine by me hehehe

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  10. Hey, lucky shirts are off limits for criticism. As long as your deodorant is working--the average Home Depot patron cares not at all. As for going to the store mid work, I do try to clean up a bit for I always seem to run into a person who wants a hug if I don't.

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  11. Joe, you don't have to be married to hear this! A couple years ago I went back home to Hooterville to attend the funeral of a friend of the family. When I arrived, my sister said "is that what you're wearing? You should be in a suit". I said "At the Butcher Holler Funeral Home? TRUST ME, I'll be the best dressed one there!" We get there, every man is in over-alls except for one kin from out of town, in his salmon pink leisure suit from 1977. (I'm not making this up, this is Hillbilly Country!) But there WAS one man there, dressed better than me--my sister's husband in a dark gray suit :)

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  12. Hakeem Nicks, pretty good receiver in his day. No all-pro, but definitely dependable!

    We had this row early in our hitchage but it was solved fairly easily 'cause I'm so darn reasonable!!

    "You fold all* the laundry, if there's something objectionable just make it disappear!"

    It works, and so far I ain't missed (many) of the shirts. Particularly because disappeared T's go in the rag bag so, ya know, I'll see 'em again even if I'm less likely to wear 'em again.

    * - I, reportedly, fold EVERYTHING incorrectly yet there is no clothing folding class to be had. I've asked, been refused, so the job is hers. Every so often she asks for assistance but soon remembers why she doesn't want it. It works for us ......

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  13. I have an idea. Wear the old shirt under the new shirt and before you go in to bowl take off the new shirt. That way you'll be wearing your lucky bowling shirt. Just remember to put the new shirt on before you go home. Problem solved.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  14. Your wife simply needs to state as a general disclaimer to the world that she does not dress you, and she's no longer on the hook or needing to feel embarrassed by your choices!

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  15. I think a nice brightly florid Hawaiian shirt in, say, purple and green and yellow splashes of color. See how she likes that!

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  16. I haven't questioned hubby if that is what he was wearing; I figure he is old enough to deal with the stares out in public if people are aghast at what he is wearing and I can always walk a few feet in front of him or behind him so people will wonder if we are together.

    betty

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  17. I can't deal with people who go out in wrinkled clothing. Adults or kids... You can dewrinkle most clothes in a dryer now or you can iron them, OR the easiest solution, hang up your clothes! Drives me bonkers when I see people out and about looking like a wadded up piece of paper. - And, I totally agree with you on your lucky shirt for bowling and the raggedy one to Home Depot. Nobody cares...

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  18. i agree that wives try to make husbands presentable and more attractive

    i found this topic as it was circling in my mind long ago but due to lack of attendance blurred away

    i like to ponder upon what is written on vehicles and clothes people wear

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