I LOVE YOU
Of all the "special" days, I dislike Valentine's Day the most. I guess I am just not romantic. Why a special day for a relationship that is 24/7/365? I never know what to do on this special day. I decided this year to re-run a post on the subject from 2012.
I love you; oh those three little words. They mean so much, yet they can mean so little. My family does not use these words lightly or often.
I don’t believe my Dad ever said those words to me. He worked long hard days for me. He was always there for me. He supported me in sports and paid for my lousy grades in school. We fished together, sailed together, bowled together and golfed together. He taught me to be a good person. He never said I love you. I don’t believe I ever said I love you to him.
My Mom never said those words to me. She gave me a nice home life. She cleaned, washed, and cooked. She doctored my cuts and scrapes. She took care of me when I was ill. She was there with a philosophical answer for every problem and situation. She never said I love you. I don’t believe I ever said I love you to her.
I never felt unloved by my Mom and Dad.
I have been in two relationships where those words were used often. In one relationship I never left the house without saying and hearing them. I was always told when seeing or leaving my grown children, “Say I love you…go on…say it.” Both of these relationships ended with my partner leaving for someone else. With one of them I was reading a note planted in my suitcase while I was away on a trip. The note said “I love you.” As I was reading the note, she was with another man.
My culture or at least the culture of my family does not use these words lightly. Often we do not use them at all. I used to joke about that. I used to be ashamed that the words came with such difficulty.
I have come to realize that sometimes when words come easy, their meaning is diminished. Actions are more important than words, however if there is any doubt, for this one time only, here it comes:
To Mrs. Cranky; Karen – I love you
To my brother Chris and sister-in-laws Mary Stewart and Judy – I love you
To my Cranks; Mary Beth, Mike, Matt, and Spencer- I love you
To my Crankettes; Tommy, Halley, Graham, Cole and Connor – I love you
To my daughter-in-law Devon – I love you
To my step cranks; Casey and Peter – Yes I love you guys too
There it is.
I said it.
I mean it.
Don’t ask me again!
How lovely.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post. Thank you Joe.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
‘Loved’ this post. I say it often, Retired Man doesn’t, but it does not matter. It is about so many other things.
ReplyDeleteLove this, Joe. Well said.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Valentines Day. 😎
Well, that's kind of sad! But I'm glad you feel comfortable typing it!
ReplyDeleteSad sort of misses my point, not sad to me at all; words sometimes, repeat, sometimes, can be meaningless, actions demonstrate true feelings more than any words ever can. I have been burned by the words, never the demonstrative actions.
DeleteThank you for your comment, just feel I had to restate my point.
Well you got that off your chest. Letting everyone know twice in 7 years seems about right:) I agree that saying it too often can lessen the meaning. My family was like yours but my step family was the opposite. They would hug and say "Love you" when just going to the store for a half hour or so. I've learned to live with both.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was a stoic Nor'Dakotan. I don't think I ever heard those words from him until his late old age (which I have now surpassed). We learned to hug and say those three little words that can mean so much.
ReplyDeleteYou show your love well, if anyone does.
ReplyDeleteSo nice, you did it twice!
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those people who don't love easily, so I never say the words. I do wish I had said them to my children, but I never heard them from my own parents. Maybe they loved me, maybe not. I do know my mother loved her sons. I love my kids and I'm sure they know it, but if I start saying it now I think we're all going to feel uncomfortable, we don't hug either. I am very glad that my children hug their children often and say those three words so my grandchildren know they are loved.
ReplyDeleteWe always say that every day. It may be the last time we get to say those words to each other.
ReplyDeleteMy folks never said to me either. A generational thing, maybe?
Awww...you old softy...
ReplyDeleteHubby's parents never said "I love you" to him growing up. Over the years when he was a middle-aged adult he started saying it to them when he finished talking to them on the phone (we lived miles from them at the time). In the beginning there was that long.....pause and then they would say they loved him back. He was persistent with it and kept saying I love you to them and eventually it became second nature for them to respond back quickly and often. Don't remember why or how we started it, but we always said I love you to the kids from early on and never end a conversation or a gathering without I love yous said. Love to me is a verb. We may say it, but we have to demonstrate it. Your parents did that.
ReplyDeletebetty
My parents never said it to me, and I never said it to them (stern, stoic Germans!). They also didn't hug - when we went to bed at night, us kids used to shake their hands and say good night. Ha!
ReplyDeleteFunny, I turned into a very "huggy" person and I tell people I love them all the time.