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Saturday, February 9, 2019

Stupid headlines 021019


Stupid headlines 021019

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Man Wants To Sue Parents For Giving Birth To Him Without Consent – Perhaps the courts will rule to undo the birth.

Costco selling 24-pound cheese 'Wedding Cake' – I don’t think I could keep a straight face when they sing “The Bride cuts the cheese, the Bride cuts the cheese, Hi Ho The Dario, the Bride cuts the cheese!

New York City man seen shattering lingerie store window, taking Barack Obama mannequin – WTF is a Barack Obama mannequin doing in a lingerie store window?

Colorado runner mauled by mountain lion choked animal to death – PETA demands an investigation.

Marijuana use may boost sperm count, study claims – Or it could be the potato chips.

Florida politician reportedly resigns following accusations she licked men's faces – Florida, the state that just keeps giving!

Man ‘clinically dies,’ resuscitated at Phil Collins’ ‘Not Dead Yet’ tour – This is why I don’t go to “Farewell” tours.

The boiling water challenge is sending people to the hospital – Do not try it in Florida, and don’t throw into the wind!

Bees can be taught to add and subtract – Well they missed 3 out of twenty, so they only get…wait for it… a ”B.”

Nancy Pelosi recreates 'sarcastic' clap – That’s the Liberal headline, so pleased with NP’s fantastic clap…Conservative headline was “Nancy Pelosi has ‘the’ clap.”

FEEL-GOOD STORYs

Airport stranger’s kindness reminds dad to embrace our differences – No big deal, simple everyday kind of thing, the very type of thing that should be a FEEL-GOOD story…check it out.



ONE MORE:

Wildlife team reunites baby otter with its mother – The only thing cuter than an otter is a baby otter!



8 comments:

  1. Loved the airport story!!

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  2. Heh, heh! My 13-year-old self would sing that bride's song at the top of my 13-year-old lungs! But even my 13-year-old self is not dumb enough to do those challenges. I guess they should have had an ice bucket ready to pour over their head after flinging the boiling water.

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  3. So THAT'S why we had eight kids. . .

    I'm trying to come up with some witty remark about the 'born-without-my consent' guy, but I got nothing more than 'ungrateful narcissistic dumb$#i+". . . His parents should counter-sue for 'misappropriation of everything we ever gave you'. . .

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  4. When I first heard about the man killing a mountain lion with his bare hands, I immediately thought of Davy Crockett and thought, the man should run for office. It worked for Davy.

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  5. I saw that Colorado thing on Facebook but it had a picture of Chuck Norris running...I'm betting he could strangle a little ol' mountain lion. Those bees have math down so now maybe they could move on to spelling.

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  6. Suing parents for giving birth to him? That sounds like a plot for 'Law & Order'.

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  7. You always find the most amazing "news"!

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  8. I'm starting to think you're having a bit too much fun with Florida...

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