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Sunday, February 24, 2019

Stupid Headlines 022419

Stupid Headlines 022419

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.


Tortoise thought to be extinct for 113 years has been rediscovered on the Galapagos – Apparently he was just resting up after winning that big race.

Florida man carrying huge rattlesnake stopped by police after scared locals issue complaints – Put down the rattlesnake and step away from the car!

Barber offers free Trump and Kim Jong Un haircuts – Come to think of it, if you put the two styles and colors together they might look normal.

Beer, Wine Coming To Rutgers Football Games – They have to do something to make those games bearable.

Volunteer volleyball coach accused of stealing underwear from female players – The square root of this guy is CREEPY! 

Meghan Markle Skipped Opening Gifts at Her Baby Shower for an Adorable Reason – She’s a damn princess and the kid will already have every thing he could possible need…adorable!

Reba McEntire explains why she turned down iconic ‘Titanic’ role – “I’m an idiot, why else?”

Hillary Clinton huddles with 2020 Dems, including Biden, Harris and Booker – “OK, here’s the play, Joe you hike on count of two, Cory you go left, Kamala you go left, Joe you fake right and go left, I’ll start up the middle then go left and throw a Hail Mary.  If it’s incomplete we’ll claim interference!”

Florida Sen. Rick Scott slams Ocasio-Cortez, encourages Amazon to move to Florida – Not sure why he would slam her and also want her to move to his state, but I really don’t know why he calls her an Amazon, she is a petite attractive young lady, certainly not an Amazon!

Drunk teen calls police on himself for public intoxication, demands his own arrest – I suspect his defense “I was drunk” is not going to get him off.

Florida close to banning the dumping of blood at beaches to lure sharks – This is allowed?  Might just be why there are more shark attacks on people on Florida beaches than anywhere in the world. (Dang I love Florida).


Cop checks to see if girls are safe, then plays dolls with them. – Early crime prevention? A different kind of cop.


  1. Was that tortoise hiding behind one of the big ones?

    God bless.

  2. Wow, the tortoise. Talk about lying low. I like to think it was just a game of hide and seek that went awry.

  3. Florida, the gift that keeps on giving!

  4. Loved Reba's honest assessment of her decision.

  5. Your comment about the tortoise made me laugh out loud.

    I love the feel good story.

    Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. 😎

  6. I wish I could make a silly comment on any of those headlines but I have nothing to offer. Your comments are the best! Wait, I got my hair cut on Friday and I'm thinking I got one of those special cuts. Oh well, it will grow out.

  7. Carrying a rattlesnake, i can only imagine.

  8. Yeah, Florida. Our former governor, this Rick Scott guy, also once asked Wawa and Yale University if they wanted to relocate to Florida. I think they told him to pound sand.