Stupid Headlines 022419
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
_______________________________
Tortoise thought to be extinct for
113 years has been rediscovered on the Galapagos – Apparently he was just resting up
after winning that big race.
Florida man carrying huge rattlesnake
stopped by police after scared locals issue complaints – Put down the rattlesnake and step
away from the car!
Barber offers free Trump and Kim Jong
Un haircuts – Come
to think of it, if you put the two styles and colors together they might look
normal.
Beer, Wine Coming To Rutgers Football
Games – They have to
do something to make those games bearable.
Volunteer volleyball coach accused of
stealing underwear from female players – The square root of this guy is CREEPY!
Meghan Markle Skipped Opening Gifts
at Her Baby Shower for an Adorable Reason – She’s a damn princess and the kid will already have
every thing he could possible need…adorable!
Reba McEntire explains why she turned
down iconic ‘Titanic’ role – “I’m an idiot, why else?”
Hillary Clinton huddles with 2020
Dems, including Biden, Harris and Booker – “OK, here’s the play, Joe you hike on count of two,
Cory you go left, Kamala you go left, Joe you fake right and go left, I’ll
start up the middle then go left and throw a Hail Mary. If it’s incomplete we’ll claim interference!”
Florida Sen. Rick Scott slams
Ocasio-Cortez, encourages Amazon to move to Florida – Not sure why he would slam her and
also want her to move to his state, but I really don’t know why he calls her
an Amazon, she is a petite attractive young lady, certainly not an Amazon!
Drunk teen calls police on himself
for public intoxication, demands his own arrest – I suspect his defense “I was drunk”
is not going to get him off.
Florida close to banning the dumping
of blood at beaches to lure sharks – This is allowed? Might
just be why there are more shark attacks on people on Florida beaches than
anywhere in the world. (Dang I love Florida).
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK:
Cop checks to see if girls are safe,
then plays dolls with them. – Early crime prevention? A different kind of cop.
Was that tortoise hiding behind one of the big ones?
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Wow, the tortoise. Talk about lying low. I like to think it was just a game of hide and seek that went awry.
ReplyDeleteFlorida, the gift that keeps on giving!
ReplyDeleteLoved Reba's honest assessment of her decision.
ReplyDeleteYour comment about the tortoise made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteI love the feel good story.
Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. 😎
I wish I could make a silly comment on any of those headlines but I have nothing to offer. Your comments are the best! Wait, I got my hair cut on Friday and I'm thinking I got one of those special cuts. Oh well, it will grow out.
ReplyDeleteHeeeere, Sharky, Sharky!
ReplyDeleteCarrying a rattlesnake, i can only imagine.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Florida. Our former governor, this Rick Scott guy, also once asked Wawa and Yale University if they wanted to relocate to Florida. I think they told him to pound sand.
ReplyDelete