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Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Why Do People Ruin Facebook

Why Do People Ruin Facebook

I know many readers do not participate in Facebook.  Some actually hate Facebook with great passion even if they have never actually Faced the Book.

Potentially Facebook is a great place to visit, especially for old people.  You can meet up with old friends, and keep up with family and especially those grandchildren, as you can see pictures and videos posted instantly.

The problem with Facebook is people.  I am a people, so I am to blame as well.  Too many people post political and moral beliefs.  I have lost several friends (real, not FB friends) by getting into political discussions on Facebook.  It is a very poor venue for any serious discussions.

I learned my lesson and now stay clear of politics.  I delete political posts from all sides because politics is not why I visit Facebook.  I visit Facebook for friendly banter, to see what people are eating for lunch, and to laugh at silly cats and dogs.

Sadly, sometimes it is just impossible to avoid serious discussions. 

A while back I posted a comment which was a lead-in to a post about the Yankee/ Red Sox series.  I said,

“If there is a God in Heaven, he doesn’t care who wins, but I am rooting for the Yanks.”

A distant cousin who I have not really seen but maybe once since he was eight years old and I was sixteen commented,

“What do you mean ‘IF’”.

Now I believe this cousin holds very deep religious beliefs, but did he have to challenge my belief in the existence of God based an innocuous comment about a baseball game?

“If there is a God, then …” is also a fairly common expression.

I should have let his response slide.  I should have just deleted it, but I felt challenged and it annoyed me that even the most casual comment could result in a cyber slap on the wrist, and judgement of my beliefs which are not for Facebook consideration. 

I am so tired of walking on egg shells these days trying not to upset all the victims in the world that I responded, and probably not very delicately. 

After several back and fourth’s I realized the conversation was going nowhere.

I deleted all the comments and I unfriended the distant cousin. 

I am too old to deal with negativity from people I really do not know. 

I also decided to delete any “friend” on Facebook that was really not an actual friend as I realized how silly it is to maintain contact with people that I do not know anymore and do not have any real interest in maintaining a relationship.

If any of my previous “friends” notice that I have “de-friended” you, don’t be offended.  I have just decided that Facebook friends should really be “friends.” 

Yes, I have some FB friends that I have never met except through venues such as my blog, but people that I may have gone to school with but do not actually know, people I once worked with but do not really know, these friends have been dropped…nothing personal, just a few more people to not offend with casual off the cuff comments.


  1. I have a Facebook friend that I have to snooze her postings every 30 days because they are all politically based and can rile me up if I let them. I should unfriend her, but its just easier to snooze things "to keep the peace." I rarely post anything on Facebook these days but like to keep up with family and friends. It can be terribly time wasting. I'll start scrolling through things, look up, and realize I spent 30 minutes on it.


  2. It's the only way I can talk with my sister. So Facebook it is. I'm not fond of Facebook.

    Politics are a sore subject anymore. Religion is a sore subject anymore. Just about everything someone will take offense to.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

  3. I'd get rid of Facebook if my Grandkiddos weren't so darn cute, if those dog and cat posts didn't make me laugh, if my selfies didn't make me look better than I really am, and if my hubby who doesn't "do" Facebook..whatever that means..ever stopped reading Facebook posts over my shoulder. Same with blogging. I'd stop that too if some of my fave posters (like you) ever quick posting good posts!

  4. I don’t unfriend, but I snooze often. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings even though they drive me up the wall.

  5. I have unfollowed so many people, because of things you mentioned, that the majority of my feed is local small businesses and travel spots!

  6. The problem with Facebook is the same problem we've always had -- human nature has not changed since the beginning, whatever you consider the beginning to be. (Yes, i would have said since Adam and Eve, but i don't want to offend anyone.)

  7. I'm like Betty. I snooze some friends just to keep the peace. I do not want to see political stuff of any kind. I am sick and tired of people who make every word someone says into a big battle. Good grief people, get a life. Can you tell this is a sore subject with me. But it's also how I keep in touch with several very good friends and family. So bite my tongue.

  8. Never had it, never will. When I was working, the school flat-out told us not to be on Facebook. Of course over half the faculty did anyway. Even though I was a rule-abider, I got called into the office because TWO PARENTS got into a Facebook feud when Genius broke up with one's daughter and started dating the other's. How I got thrown into it, I still don't understand! I was happily unaware of my young Lothario's appeal, but each mother declared that her daughter was his true love, and the other daughter was a slut. BOTH of them, when told by the principal to stop their shenanigans, said, "JUST ASK MRS. VAL!"

    JEEZ! (Hope that's not offensive!) That was the biggest waste of my time ever. I didn't have a clue what was going on, not being on Facebook.

  9. Facebook isn't for me. I don't want to be "friended" by people I barely know or remember and certainly don't want to be connected with people on there that I know in real life are bitchy, pick on people and one is actually known to be a stalker in real life. I don't want that particular person knowing a single thing about me.

  10. I gave up Facebook some time ago and never regretted it. It was surprising to find how rude people could be but it wasn't something I wanted to put up with and anyway why should total strangers know all about us from discussions with friends or relatives. A particular gripe of mine was seeing pictures of babies and children displayed for the world and unsavoury people to see. When I worked for the Probation Service there many on charges relating to children because too many details were given about kids ages and where they lived. Some people are too free with their information. Some think that revealing stuff to a Facebook friend is harmless but they don't know who is lurking and taking notes to further their criminal activities.

  11. Yeah, a couple years ago I dumped anyone and everyone who I didn't know, didn't like, or who didn't really 'get' me. It caused momentary grief for Queenie (Why did Xavier unfriend me"?) but little for me. Not one of 'em asked me or sent a new friend request.

    Queenie wasn't really thrilled over it but then, she had always complained that I had TOO MANY connections so I reminded her of that and that all quieted down. BTW- Queenie is 'that cousin' who sometimes calls out people she barely knows when she disagrees. Hmmm, wonder why she has fewer connections .... left??? ;-)

  12. I have one of those fake Facebook accounts my niece set up for me so I can see how fast the kids are growing. Otherwise I don't use FB. I always felt that if someone isn't in my life without FB, there is probably good reason.

  13. I agree--I hate facebook, but if you want to keep up with relatives in 5 different countries it's like a necessary evil. Some friends post a lot of religious and political stuff, but I've blocked all their posts so I just never see them. Ignorance is bliss.

  14. I once did not like something I said on Facebook so I blocked myself and could not log into my account again!!!

    Gods bless.

  15. There are a couple "Friends" on Facebook that I no longer follow, mostly as I haven't the slightest interest in when they're at the gym, or how cute their spoiled little child might be. Other than that, *thinks* there's really nobody who goes into politics or religion. If they did, I'd likely punt them out. I quite enjoy facebook, as it gives me a look into the lives of cousins and friends that I rarely get to see face to face, and then there are a couple "forum" type things from which I get a bit of knowledge from time to time. Your mileage may vary.

  16. Writing for the paper, I got hundreds of FB friends that I’ve never met.
    When i come across posts that bother me, I smite them. I don’t argue or even try to reason. I smite.
    Now, my timeline is much more pleasant. I get health updates, I find out who died, and picture of peoples kids, grandkids, and pet.
    That’s what I prefer to see. If folks don’t like the way I roll, they can smite me.

  17. is it right that you sound little exhausted by FB wars dear Joe!

    i truly can not understand when people indulge in extreme mode of conversation


    I believe in him because he made me so ,there is no personal effort or attitude involved

    I love him and this is the reason i don't want to loose him that's all

    forcing others to get in my shoes is totally unfair and ignorant act in my point of view

    want you to wish a very HAPPY NEW YEAR my friend !


  18. I like Facebook. I've met a bunch of other Germans around here because there is a local Facebook group. I've found out about some wonderful restaurants because there is a local Facebook group. I've "met" a number of nice people whom I have never met in real life (yet). At least I think they're nice. If you read about me getting stabbed in a park because I met a stranger from the Internet, THEN we'll know they weren't nice.

    I like the sentence baili wrote above my comment (the one in all caps).

    I like your blog and now I'm going on Facebook to see if you unfriended me...hrrrmmmpppfff.