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Monday, February 4, 2019




 You walked into the bedroom, thinking you were so hot
Your eyebrow strategically raised up high
Acting just like I don’t know what
You had one eye on my computer as you watched me typing my post
And then you complain I make you look foolish, make you look foolish
You’re so vain you probably think this blog is about you
You’re so vain I bet you think this blog is about you
Don’t you don’t you

Mrs. Cranky thinks I pick on her in some of my posts.  When I start to type, she asks “What are you saying about me now?”

I refuse to tell her.  If she wants to know what I’m writing, she should subscribe to my blog. She will not.  The only time she reads my posts are when she peeks over my shoulder and sees me type “Mrs. Cranky.”

“What are you saying now?  Making fun of me again? Is that how you impress all your on-line girl-friends…making me look stupid? Do they know you are a jerk?”

“First of all, they are just other bloggers; they are not on-line girl- friends.  Second of all, I don’t make fun of you and from the comments I get everyone loves Mrs. Cranky. Thirdly, if they read this blog, yes, they know I’m a jerk.  And this post isn’t even about you; it’s about the coming snow storm!” (Well it is about you now.)

“I just want to know when you post about me so I can comment a rebuttal.”

“What do you care?  No one who reads this knows you anyway.  So what if I sometimes exaggerate a little?”

“A little!  You make me look like an idiot who curses like a sailor!”

“Well you do speak a little roughly from time to time, and sometimes when A=b and b=c, your A doesn’t =c.”

“You exaggerate!”

“I blog because I love!”


I think Mrs. Cranky is just a little bit vain.
This re-run is from February 2014


  1. I love Mrs. Cranky, how does she put up with you.

  2. Well, you are not divorcing....!

  3. But I assume that things have gotten much better in the past five years since this was written.

  4. Perhaps Mrs C should have a blog of her own, to get her own back so to speak.

  5. We all love your wife, Joe. We really do. You just use her for blog fodder and we enjoy that too.

    Have a fabulous day and week. Hello to Mrs. C. 😎

  6. I live in the Bizarro World, where Hick clamors for me to write about him. I'm sure he knows that he is not presented in the best light. Sometimes, when he does something particularly embarrassing, he can't wait to tell me.

  7. Tell Mrs Cranky I am not your girl friend, not anybody’s girl friend, not a girl, not even female.

  8. For Valentines Day you should write a post that is all about the wonderful aspects of Mrs Cranky...print it off and hang it on the fridge.

  9. Nice take on "You're so vain." She really needs to read your posts. I think you are usually kind (in a backhanded way) to her and we have been known to take her side.

  10. My old man has no curiosity whatsoever about anything I write online. I could say anything I please about him and he'll never know.

  11. Carly Simon would be proud of you. Mrs. Cranky, not so much

  12. I'm afraid to comment now because I don't want to be accused of being anybody's online gf!

  13. She would know she's our favorite Mrs. Cranky ever if she'd read your blog.

  14. I love Mrs. Cranky! I think she's hip, beautiful, so insightful, and I know all this because I read between the lines and the lines say: "She loves you and you love her...even if you are a jerk"...

  15. SWMBO used to be that way too until she began reading all the comments which praised her or sympathized with her!

  16. Well, Mrs. Cranky is still around, so you must not be that much of a jerk.

  17. Aren't we all a little vain? Mrs C is no exception. But we love her anyway. And we love your blog.

  18. We are all vain in one way or another. Let's be honest. How many of us DO NOT check the stats to see how our blogs are doing?

    God bless.

    1. I don't check my stats. not ever. I'm happy enough just to have readers who like what I write.

  19. i would love to read her own "attack" on you lol
    i love her because you present her so ................................. oh forget i can't find the exact word

    through your writings i enjoy the "feel" of amusement drawn by her character as i am reading a some sort of novel
    i enjoy your humor a LOT dear Joe! i must repeat it often you are GIFTED indeed!

  20. You have my permission to tell Mrs. Cranky I'm not your online girlfriend.

    Mrs. Cranky is my secret crush. I'm HER online girlfriend, so to speak.