Crack Me A Cold One
More memorabilia…if people reacted to
diaper memorabilia, I decided to add some more.
Mostly old people on this blog, and old people love old stuff.
With the
first invention of the can, inventors have been trying to improve on methods of
getting at the contents. Coffee and
peanuts used to have those key thingies that wound up perforated metal and
allowed the top to be removed. That
wound metal and the can openings were perfect for ripping large cuts in
fingers.
Opening beer
cans has gone through three changes in my life time.
The earliest
I remember was using a “church key.” I
wonder if today you could use one of these on public property. Probably the first church of “We hate God and
all religion” would bring about a law suit.
Anyway.
A beer can
could not be opened without a church key, and almost everyone had one with him
or nearby. I think they were given away
free with a case of beer purchase, but I do not remember anyone ever buying
one. Maybe a fancy opener that also had
a switch blade like cork screw in the handle, but proper church keys were free.
The church
key had a stabby thing on one end that would punch a hole in your beer
can. You would punch a triangle cut on
one side, and a little hole on the other side to allow the beer to flow
freely. The other side of the church key
was for prying off bottle caps.
If by some
unusual circumstance you found yourself with a supply of beer and no church
key, panic ensued. A screw driver, a
knife, a pointy rock…whatever, that can would be opened. If you want to see imagination and quick
thinking in action, bring a six pack of the old beer cans where there is no
church key.
Popping open
the bottle caps without a church key was (still is, with imported beer) an
art. I am lost without a proper bottle
opener, but I know people who could use
a table top end and a quick whack on the palm to pop the top. If done incorrectly one can ruin a good
table, injure the palm and break the bottle.
I have seen people use their wedding ring with a wedding finger lever to
do the job…me, I buy domestic with twist offs.
I have
damage my thumb and forefinger unsuccessfully attempting to twist off an import
beer.
In the
sixties the pop top was invented. You
pulled a ring and a perforated top ripped off the perfect beer guzzling
opening. Disposing of the pop top was a
bit of an ecological issue. They
littered landscapes and occasionally caused margarita drinking flip flop wearing singers
to cut their heel and have to cruise on back home.
I always
thought that if you could attach a hook to the pop top, they would have made
excellent fishing lures, but I never tested that thought.
Currently
the pop top has been replaced with the push top which eliminated the littering
issue and the heel cutting problem.
Can there
possible be any more improvement to the beer container opening issue? Who cares, I’ve wasted enough print on this
subject.
Come back
next week for wine; cork, imitation cork or twist off!
Not a beer drinker here but I do remember the church key..although I never knew it was called that until now. Once again I have 'larned' somethig here. Thanks Cranky.
ReplyDeleteNow I want a beer, but I think my employer might frown on that, seeing how I have to start work in about 45 minutes. They sure have evolved over time, haven't they? We've come to having a wine opener that also has a church key kind of thing with it included in our travels (usually put in hubby's shaving bag) so that we have everything we need should we decide to imbibe while on a trip. My motto is always be prepared :) I look forward to your one on wine. I personally like the twist offs which are becoming more "popular" even for "expensive" wines. As I age I think I'll be able to handle those over the cork ones. Opening a bottle with a cork always is a challenge here. (but I get it done)
ReplyDeletebetty
I had one of those church keys that punch a triangle in the can. Where has it got to? I'll spend the rest of the day searching for it. I hate it when I lose things that I no longer want and have not used for ages.
ReplyDeleteBy the way ... should wine bottles have a cork or a metal screw top? Or should it be sold in carton boxes?
God bless.
When the door of a truck is open, there are assorted holes in the frame. Hick used one of these for opening beer bottles. It worked as well as those metal contraptions mounted on the side of an old cooler, or nailed to a porch post. Not that Hick was a fan of drinking and driving. He did it when on a fishing trip, or with the truck parked in a field while building one of his first themed sheds, or getting a bonfire ready after a hayride.
ReplyDeleteEveryone had a church key back in the day. Now it's a wine opener. It's always something. I'm loving this walk down memory lane.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
I didn't know they were called church keys. I have my grandma's that is fancy and I use it to open evaporated and condensed milk cans.
ReplyDeleteSame! :D
DeleteWe always used this method when a proper opener wasn't available - https://youtu.be/IZPjBKOw0sE
ReplyDeleteI've had a P38 on my key ring for 40 years.
ReplyDeleteI have had a church key for years but this is the first I've heard what it was called I always called it a bottle opener. We learn something new every day.
ReplyDeleteI still have one but I never knew the name of it. It's just always been the sweetened condensed/evaporated milk opener and used mostly around the holidays. :)
ReplyDeleteWe still have a church key, and a couple of the "p58" can openers like they used in the military to open canned rations. There's nothing quite like the old stuff to actually get the job done, whatever the job is.
ReplyDeleteThat thing is called a church key? I never knew that. I have one somewhere, but never need it so don't know exactly where it is, probably stashed with other unused utensils in a box in the shed/garage. I remember in my childhood, everyone had one and they were often tied to a length of strong string which was tied at the other end to a nail in the side of the cabinet nearest the fridge where the beer was kept. When ring-pull tabs came in, most people I knew would pull off the tab and drop it straight into the can, no littering worries there.
ReplyDeleteWe have a "church key" hanging on our fridge. We don't drink alcohol so it's probably wasted on us but it does get used for other things that need opened. In surgery every OR has a church key for opening drug bottles. When I asked for a church key one day at work the younger folk just looked at me like I had 3 heads. They never heard a bottle opener called that. Maybe if I had asked for the beer bottle opener I would have had better results.
ReplyDeleteI guess there's one somewhere amongst my vast amount of unwanted or unused items. I could never use it but the male members of the family were quite adept so I always left things to them.
ReplyDeleteWe still have a number of church keys around here, including one we've had for fifty years. (It may not have that "new" shine, but it still works!) My hubby also has a P38 on his keychain, because ya never can tell when it might come in handy. I'm almost ashamed to say this, but in the sixties, we had a whole "curtain" made of beer pop-tops in our basement. I've never cared for beer, but my hubby and his Army pals managed to more than made up for my "shortcoming."
ReplyDeleteHaven't had a beer in 40 years but still have a church key. It is magnetized so I use it as a refrigerator magnet to hold post it notes. Still a handy gadget.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know they were called church keys, but I have one and still use it. The non-pointy end is great for loosening tops from glass jars, when they just won't twist open.
ReplyDeleteI used a P38 for many, many years for opening cans.