Stupid Headlines 040818
It Is Time Again For
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes
sophomoric comments.
__________________________
Mom deployed Taser on son to wake him
up for church – Why is mom or anyone not part of law
enforcement even allowed to have a Taser?
Credit card companies eliminating
signature requirements – Finally I won’t need to sign “Donald Duck” on all my purchases.
Virginia woman arrested for allegedly
threatening to blow up a 7-Eleven – My first law supporting sensible gun legislation would be
Woman finds spider in McDonald's
chicken sandwich – Now selling as a “Chicken McArachnid Sandwich.”
A systematic approach to implementing
cognitive technologies – Zzzzzz.
Woman fights off tiger with a stick
after it attacks her goat – I’ll bet she speaks softly.
Couple busted for allegedly running
brothel out of home, with kids inside, to fund heroin addiction – These two will be on Dr. Phil real
soon…he’ll fix them in about 45 minutes.
Elderly adults grow as many new brain
cells as teenagers do, study finds – Well, like, you know, that, like explains, like a lot, you know.
Bald eagle takes off during pregame
ceremony, lands on Mariners pitcher James Paxton – Talk about getting an early hook!
Hillary Clinton's $25G for Rutgers
speech was less than school paid 'Snooki' – Snooki told students “study hard, but party harder!”
Hillary told them, “Waaaaa!”
Ohio man arrested after attacking
girlfriend, hitting her in the face with pizza – “At’s Amore”
FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK
Police Officers Stand in for Children’s
Parents who Could Not Make it to School Dance – A Cop Hop!
Come Back Next Week For
More
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!
The tiger got her goat.
ReplyDeleteSunday again already? Where did the week go?
ReplyDeleteAssaulting people is bad, but I might forgive someone who hit me in the face with a pizza. So long as I got the pizza afterwards, anyway.
ReplyDeleteOn the spectrum of my assault condemnaiton, assault with a pizza ranks on the low side.
You can't make this stuff up. The world just gets crazier and crazier.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
Yikes Amazon sells tasers. Guess we had better be careful who we irritate.
ReplyDeleteWhew, I'm going to need those brain cells to get me through the semester...haha
ReplyDeleteWow, that is one ugly woman ~ I wouldn't sell her a pizza either....
I'm back & as always, I enjoyed this post!!
ReplyDeleteThe video of that eagle landing on the pitcher was freaking amazing!
ReplyDeleteOf course my 13-year-old self chortles at the porn actress getting it in the end. And thinks that Ohio man wasted good pizza.
ReplyDeleteYou will never convince me that the crazed "woman" with the gun is actually female..seriously, that's a man. That's the face that needs the pizza on it. It certainly would be an improvement.
ReplyDeleteSo as far as brains go, i still might grow some!
ReplyDeletei must say pizza is more dangerous than gun (sometimes)
ReplyDeleteI was on the jury for a federal drug trial. It lasted 3 months. I learned a great deal about what people will do for drugs.
ReplyDeleteA systematic approach to implementing cognitive technologies... no flipping way!
ReplyDelete;-)