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Monday, April 16, 2018


Going back to that "One Happy Island" soon so this re-run is from April 2014

I get it women…men can’t find anything we did not ourselves put away.

Deal with it!

You could stop complaining and just deal with it.  But nooo…you want to torture us don’t you, kind of like ripping the wings off a fly.  Yes you do, admit it.  You know we can’t find the stuff you put away.  You know your directions of where to find stuff that you put away can only be understood by another woman.  Yet you continue to expect us to find things.  It is like expecting a person without legs to dance the jig.

This past weekend, Mrs. C and I were vacationing in Aruba.  It is a beautiful island, and we love lounging in the sun with a constant warm breeze, dunking in the ocean, or bathing in the pool.  It is wonderful, except Mrs. C knows how to stir things up.

I got up from our place in the sun to make a trek to the restroom.  Upon arrival I find I need a room key to enter.  I walk back to our umbrella (oh the humanity) to get the key.

“What’s up, why back so soon?”

“You need a room key to enter, where is our key?”

“In the beach bag.”

“Could you just get it?”

“Why don’t you get it?”

“Because you could just reach in and grab it, where I will dig around looking, move stuff around and still not find it.”

“Oh please.   Just open the bag, the key is right behind the book.”

“Book?  We have no book.”

“You know, the Tablet, Nook thing.”

“Which is it, the Tablet or the Nook?”



“Yes, one of those.”

“We have both…oh crap let me look…I don’t see it.”

“It is right there.”

“I don’t see it.”

“For crying out loud hand me the bag.”

Mrs. Cranky reaches into the bag that I have been turning inside out and without looking comes out with the room key.

“Here, it was right inside the plastic baggy.”

“But you said it was in the Nook, or the Tablet.”

“Well it was inside the baggy, if you had just looked you would have found it!”

“Well if you had just reached in in the first place like I asked I would have had 180 seconds of my life that is now irrevocably lost.”

“You’re a jerk!”

Aruba is such a beautiful island that I can easily overlook those minor Mrs. Cranky unpleasantries, besides, without her I would have never even found the island. 


  1. You two crack me up. Never a dull moment.

    Have a fabulous day on your island. ☺

  2. Lots of lizards running around.

  3. Well, I go through the same thing here. Funny how if there's an auction within a five-county radius, Hick can find it.

  4. I admire your restraint. I would have dumped everything out and found the key....and gotten an earful for the rest of the trip.

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  6. It must be a guy thing...the hubs can't find ANYTHING regardless of who put it where.

  7. She did NOT say it was IN the Nook or Tablet, which she called a Book anyway, she said it was BEHIND the Book. Of course she neglected to say it was in a plastic baggie, so you're excused for not finding it. I do agree with you that Mrs C should have just reached in and got it for you.

  8. And this is why I always have a key of my own. Even if it costs extra ..... at home, she changes the location of gadgets and supplies in the kitchen a few times a year, just a few at a time, then gets all freaky when I put something back "where it doesn't belong".

    Now when I put away the dishes I choose one random item and put it somewhere it's never been before. Ever. Just for a bit of fun. 'Cause she taught the daughter to give me grief about the whole "it don't belong there!" thing. :-)

  9. She does know how to push your buttons doesn't she? I'll bet she grins big when she salutes you with "Jerk." Anxiously awaiting your reality TV show. I'd watch.

  10. Sweetie often cannot find stuff he put away, either. Nor can he find the stuff he left out so he could find it. Yes, i spend a lot of time finding stuff for him. Because of his vision trouble, i try not to give him a hard time about it.

  11. Just the word "Aruba" has me drooling with envy..even if it was a few years ago. It's warm there isn't it...warm with sun..oh well, Jack seems to have similar issues. He calls my purse the black hole and he always is saying: "I can't find anything when you get into your cleaning mode." Anyway, I don't know what the problem is. Whatever he's looking for is always in the last place you look. It's the law.

  12. see you just admitted that it was only mrs C who found that beautiful island !

    you are AMAZING writer dear Joe!!!
    thanks for little laughters

  13. ...without her I would have never even found the island... <-- This sentence totally redeemed you. Hope you had a fantastic vacation!