STUPID HEADLINES 072417
It’s time again for
Well...Yeah!!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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N-word used on Walmart website to
describe product color – In the fall, Walmart is planning a large “Honkey Sale.”
Saudi Arabia investigates video of
young woman walking in miniskirt – Saudis’ up in arms over a video, I wonder what body part they
cut off for this infraction.
Apple patents way to secretly call
911 using your fingerprint – This should keep the 911 operators busy with accidental
calls.
Bodies of couple believed found in
glacier 75 years after their disappearance – Believed? Seems this should be cut and dry, either
they were found in the glacier, or they were not.
NYC men square off in bloody brawl
involving machete, garbage cans – When they say choose your weapon, I’m not sure I would go for
the garbage can.
Mayoral candidate tells audience
members at forum in Florida to 'go back to Africa' – I’m going to take a wild guess that
this guy was already not going to get the African American vote.
Toronto man builds park stairs for
$550, irking city after $65,000 estimate – Good to know it is not only in the US that politicians
have millions of dollars to spend, and no sense on how to spend them.
Pounds of pork plop onto roof of
Florida home – Alligators,
sharks, pythons, and now pork falling out of the sky…I’m staying in New Jersey.
Rats fall from ceiling at a Dallas
Chipotle – And just
like the guy whose feet are big and moldy, Chipotle doesn’t give a crap, about
rats falling from the ceiling they keep falling; because their free, no reason
for worry. (Apologies to B.J. Thomas.)
Mike Rowe fires back at claim he's
against higher education – Star of Dirty Jobs claims, “That be rediculum! I always be in favorite of higher educatin!
Dog swims through Long Island Sound
to rescue baby deer – I’m still a sucker for dog stories.
And A Bonus Feel-good
story:
Family wins Powerball jackpot and
gives it away – Many
of these winners end up bankrupt, I think this family will just get rich in
another way.
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Toronto park stairs, $550. "Finders fee" *wink*, $64,450. Sounds about right, huh Mr. Mayor. Haha!
ReplyDeleteI ran a search on those Toronot stairs, and there are some great quotes within the article, too. The city is mad at the guy (a Mr. Astl) for going and doing it without their permission, so:
ReplyDelete"The stairs have been blocked off by tape and they will remain that way until city officials come up with a solution. Astl has not been fined and is not facing criminal charges."
This needed to be said? There's a chance he could have been charged?
Are prostitutes getting screwed. Well, I believe they are.
ReplyDeleteThese are always good. I love your comments the best.
I linked this post to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
I was denied access to your first feel good story, the second one is great!!
ReplyDeleteI loved the story about the Lotto winners. Those folks were rich in all the ways that count before the drawing.
ReplyDeleteI saw the clip about pork falling from the sky and the dog rescuing the baby deer. Best story of all is the family sharing their lucky jackpot. We need more folks like that.
ReplyDeleteWell, we have Sharknado movies, why not Porknado movies?
ReplyDeleteYour choices of stupid headlines are better than reading the rag magazine headlines at the checkstand at the store!
ReplyDeleteI love your stupid headlines! I am however, a bit nervous...we have a new Chipotle being built in our town. The trouble is it's at a standstill because the owners aren't paying the builders. That should give it plenty of time for some vermin to move in. The feel good stories give me hope that the world isn't completely crazed.
ReplyDeleteThe "Honkey Sale" gave me a chuckle. Then I got to the part about pork falling from the sky, and rats dropping out of the ceiling, and I thought, "I wonder if Rebecca DeMornay down at the homeless center would appreciate those items being donated to feed the homeless. Seeing as how they don't like muffin stumps. And maybe they'd like to read Joe's headlines every Sunday, seeing as how they don't like toilet books."
ReplyDeleteChipotles problems seem to be never ending.
ReplyDeleteWow. I'd of liked to have been up on a balcony watching the machete/garbage can fight! Holy crap. - I looked up that pork story. That is wild!!! Definitely a mystery!
ReplyDeleteSnort snort.
ReplyDeleteR
Somehow I missed the pork story. Probably because of all the other weird stories that happen in Florida.
ReplyDelete