Directions

Directions

Mrs. C is the most amazing person I have ever known with directions.  She knows every road in New Jersey and every short cut or way around a traffic jam.  When she goes some place new, one look at a map and she is good to go.  She always knows which direction is north, south, east or west.

Mrs. C knows directions, she knows where she is and how to get where she is going.  Around the house she knows where everything is in the house even with its generally cluttered condition. 

Mrs. C takes directions well, she does not have to be told twice, and she actually enjoys putting things together following step by step instructions.

Mrs. C is horrible at giving directions. 

Today we are at our shore house rental, and I ask her where she wants me to put away some new short tumblers she just purchased.

“Put them in the cabinet on the shelf with the other glasses.”

The cabinet has three shelves, all with different glass types.

“Which shelf?”

“The higher shelf.”

Does that mean the second or the third shelf?  You’d think the second shelf which is higher but not the highest, but you don’t know Mrs. C.

“Which higher shelf?”

“The one with the three wine glasses.”

The second shelf has two wine glasses.  The third shelf has no wine glasses.

“You mean the second shelf, which has two wine glasses?”

“No, the higher shelf above those wine glasses.  Next to the three glasses which are wine glasses without a stem.”

“So, the water glasses which could be used as wine glasses?”

“Yes.”

“May I make a suggestion?”

“What?”

“If you ever decide to start a new profession don’t even think about Air Traffic control.”

“You’re a Jerk!”