BASEBALL HAT INSTRUCTIONS
This cranky re-run is from July 2013
This is a pressing issue that needs to be addressed: Baseball hat wearing.
Our children today do not know how to wear a baseball cap. There are only two acceptable positions in which to wear a baseball-style hat.
1. Brim straight ahead to protect the eyes from the sun.
2. Brim directly behind to keep the wind from blowing the hat off your head.
A slight shift from brim facing straight ahead is acceptable in some situations based on the angle of the sun, but these variations should only be for the short term.
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| Dude...you look like an idiot! |
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| So...you want to look stupid, right? |
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| Umm...don't call us, we'll call you. |
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| Turn it around...TURN IT AROUND!! |
Here are some other rules:
If your hat fits over your ears it is too big.
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| I won't tell him, but...he looks stupid. |
Brims should not be flat. They should have a curve to them…they just should.
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| This look just screams PUSSY! |
Tags or stickers should be removed after purchase. Even if you stole it...take the tag off.
To summarize, there is a right and a wrong way to wear a baseball hat:
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| Example of the perfect way to wear a baseball hat. |
See, to my mind, the brim-backwards configuration is only for catchers, or to keep the sun off your neck.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would say, the tag/sticker should especially be taken off if you stole it. But maybe that's just me. . .
And jeez, couldn't the, uh, buxom young lady in the last pic be wearing something besides Red Sox gear (and for god's sake, not the Yankees. . .)
Oh yeah, it is a Red Sox hat...I hadn't noticed before.
DeleteUgh. This was always a pet peeve of mine, especially with 3 boys in the house. I kept those brims exactly as you described and for exactly those reasons. Forward for the sun. Backward for the wind. Never to the side or off to the side and definitely not that stupid wide flat brim. - And PS, your girl is reppin' the wrong team. :) Happy Monday, Joe!
ReplyDeleteI chuckled at 'even if you stole it, take the tag off'. Thank goodness I had no food or drink in my mouth. Great post, and greetings to you!
ReplyDeleteThe hubs wears a baseball capp all day every day in the house in the car everywhere...I'm forever being jabbed by that stupid duck bill of a peak ...when I'm trying to see traffic so I can make a turn all I can see is that big pead waving around back and forth....I positively detest baseball hats.
ReplyDeleteQueenie forbade the wearing of baseball caps for any reason when we wuz first hitched ..... she had a LOT of rules. She STILL has lots of rules. However, this restriction was lifted the day her Pop took up golf and donned one.
ReplyDeleteNow they are encouraged .... sometimes. But curve your brim, cut the tags, and keep it straight!
Your last example pic was great!!
ReplyDeleteNext post should be about appropriate places to wear a hat.
ReplyDeleteAnd she wears it quite well. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe closer on my favorite baseball team, MY Arizona Diamondbacks, is usually Fernando Rodney. He intentionally wears his cap tilted to the left. It drives me crazy! And yes, the brim should be curved. BTW, SWMBO says I look like a goofball in a baseball cap.
ReplyDeleteYou really are a jerk sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you take off that lid when the National Anthem is playing, i will respect your right to look stupid wearing your hat the wrong way.
ReplyDeleteThe girl in that last photo does indeed look perfect. I just noticed she's also wearing a baseball cap.
ReplyDeleteAround here, it's a trucker cap world, and yes, the brim MUST be rolled, not flat!
ReplyDeleteI don't like baseball caps, they leave the ears open to sunburn as well as the back of the neck. Australia is the skin cancer capital of the world, so I prefer a cotton wide-brimmed hat. I don't care how silly it looks.
ReplyDeleteDon't like the baseball cap for myself. Does nothing to protect the ears from frying. Hum--You even noticed the girl in the last picture was wearing a hat??
ReplyDelete