STUPID HEADLINES 073117 (oops, got the date wrong...I'm retired, what do I know)
It’s
time again for
 |
| How much less? |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider,
sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Stop Making Babies and Driving Cars
to Save the Planet – Well
I assure you, I have never made a baby while driving a car, so don’t blame that
heat spell on me!
Airline spokesperson claimed person
‘passed gas’ on an American Airlines plane, forcing all passengers off at NC
airport – American
Airlines has decided to discontinue the burrito lunch option.
Will Smith says 'Star Wars' was
better than sex – Either
I saw a different movie, or he hasn’t found a very good partner!
Wisconsin company to implant
microchips in its employees in August – There go the long bathroom breaks.
200 Allegiant Airlines passengers
stranded in Las Vegas – When Allegiant stops in Vegas, you stay in Vegas!
79-year-old woman caught going 149
mph in Porsche Boxster said she 'needed to clear [her] head' – I’d like to know how they caught her!
Dentures left at scene lead to
Tennessee man's rape conviction 16 years later – The only thing stupider than leaving
your dentures at the scene of a crime, was it took 16 years to find the guy…and
his name was on the dentures!
Teacher, 28, banned from classroom
after allegedly having sex with student on plane – I think she should be banned from the
plane.
Tom Brady is the owner of the New
York Jets - according to Google – Well he owns them on the field, along with the rest of the
NFL.
One-armed machete-wielding man
arrested by Maine State Police – Dr. Richard Kimble was immediately released.
Humans came from galaxies, far, far
away, scientists say – See, we definitely need a wall!
And the Feel-Good Story
of the week:
Man Saves Beached Octopus, Last Thing
He Expects Is A Thank You He'll Never Forget – Who doesn’t love a good octopus
story?
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
The Little Old Lady from Pasadena lives!
ReplyDeleteFun headlines, thanks for the morning smile.
Bwahahahahahahaha. Makes you wonder doesn't it. Yes it does.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
An amusing post. I enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.
Ouch, the first one. "If you didn't act like so gay, we wouldn't have to bully you."
ReplyDeleteThat little octopus kind of gives you chills doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteOne of your best "Stupid Headlines"!!
ReplyDeleteThe pentagon should track down that gassy passenger. If they could bottle that----
ReplyDeleteLoved the octopus story and the guy with a gentle heart.
Bwahahahahahahaha. Makes you wonder doesn't it. Yes it does.
ReplyDeleteเย็ดสาว
No burrito lunch option on airplanes? Why fly at all?
ReplyDeleteI can't see getting microchiped by your employer or anyone for that matter.
ReplyDeleteThe octopus rescue was really good, I liked that.
I suppose the alleged student on the plane went a little overboard acting less gay.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how they would have cuffed that one armed guy?
ReplyDeleteR
"79-year-old woman caught going 149 mph in Porsche Boxster"
ReplyDeleteWas this a remake of the old Jan and Dean song, "The Little Old Lady From Pasadena"...go Granny, go Granny, go Granny go!
Utah boy pledges allegiance to flag when no one's looking – This brings to mind the classic philosophic question - If a boy pledges allegiance ...
ReplyDeleteตารางคะแนน
Never thought I'd be saying this to Will Smith, but. . . you're doing it wrong. . .
ReplyDeleteAnd that must've been one HELL of a fart. . .
Note to self...don't fly American Airlines, don't fly Allegiant Airlines. Probably should test Will Smith's theory.
ReplyDelete