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Sunday, July 30, 2017
STUPID HEADLINES 073117
STUPID HEADLINES 073117 (oops, got the date wrong...I'm retired, what do I know)
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Stop Making Babies and Driving Cars to Save the Planet – Well I assure you, I have never made a baby while driving a car, so don’t blame that heat spell on me!
Airline spokesperson claimed person ‘passed gas’ on an American Airlines plane, forcing all passengers off at NC airport – American Airlines has decided to discontinue the burrito lunch option.
Will Smith says 'Star Wars' was better than sex – Either I saw a different movie, or he hasn’t found a very good partner!
Wisconsin company to implant microchips in its employees in August – There go the long bathroom breaks.
200 Allegiant Airlines passengers stranded in Las Vegas – When Allegiant stops in Vegas, you stay in Vegas!
79-year-old woman caught going 149 mph in Porsche Boxster said she 'needed to clear [her] head' – I’d like to know how they caught her!
Dentures left at scene lead to Tennessee man's rape conviction 16 years later – The only thing stupider than leaving your dentures at the scene of a crime, was it took 16 years to find the guy…and his name was on the dentures!
Teacher, 28, banned from classroom after allegedly having sex with student on plane – I think she should be banned from the plane.
Tom Brady is the owner of the New York Jets - according to Google – Well he owns them on the field, along with the rest of the NFL.
One-armed machete-wielding man arrested by Maine State Police – Dr. Richard Kimble was immediately released.
Humans came from galaxies, far, far away, scientists say – See, we definitely need a wall!
And the Feel-Good Story of the week:
Man Saves Beached Octopus, Last Thing He Expects Is A Thank You He'll Never Forget – Who doesn’t love a good octopus story?
Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!