THE STARBURST
CONSPIRACY
Mrs. Cranky
likes Starbursts, a mouth watering juicy delight of a candy. Recently she has taken to bringing a bag of a
new chicklets sized Starburst Mini's as a bed time snack.
As much as I have been trying to sharply reduce my daily intake of
sugar, I do submit to a handful of Starbursts from time to time.
There are four
flavors of Starbursts in a package of the chicklet sized candy; lemon, orange,
strawberry and cherry. I like all the
flavors, though cherry is my favorite.
Mrs. Cranky does not like lemon.
Yesterday
Mrs. Cranky handed me my own bag of Starbursts.
“Instead of bothering me for a candy,
I bought you your own bag.”
Of course I
whined (because that is what I do) that now I would have no control over how
many I ate and I didn’t want all that extra sugar. Mrs. Cranky told me to just show some control
because she was tired of being the keeper of the candy and being responsible for
my portion control.
You may be
thinking, "Holy Hannah what a stupid argument."
You may be right.
Anyway, I
now have my own individual bag of Starbursts by my bed side.
Last night I
reached into my own personal bag and pulled out three yellow candies. Not my favorite, but good enough for me to
want more so I reached in and pulled out three more candies…all yellow. I shrugged off this coincidence until my next
grab produced three more yellow candies.
“Wait a minute! Why are all my candies yellow? The package shows four colors are supposed to
be inside.”
“…….”
“There are no other flavors in my
package, only lemon!”
“……”
“Did you go through the packages and
switch all the other flavors with lemon?”
“……”
“YOU DID!”
“There’s a red in your package.”
“Really, how do you know? What...did you leave one red just to throw me off?”
“Maybe.”
“Now who is the jerk?”
“Still you.”
I'd leave the toilet set up for at least a week if I were you. ;)
ReplyDeleteAre you gonna pay for my computer repair cause you just made me spit coffee all over the keyboard. That is too funny?
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahaha. Your wife is a hoot. She really is.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
Heeheehee! Again, maybe you just need to buy your own treats, and put your name on them.
ReplyDeleteI saw this one coming. You two kids are a hoot! Just eat the dang lemons that life throws at ya.
ReplyDeleteLisa
Ha, a delight it must be to have your own bag of candy.
ReplyDeleteSo there was a motive on Mrs. Cranky's part to get you your own bag of candy. Wasn't for monitoring your portion control but to get all the flavors she enjoyed :)
ReplyDeletebetty
Tell Mrs. C that I love her!!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of my college roomies yelling at me for eating all of the chunks of cookie dough and brownie out of the Ben & Jerry's, and leaving them with just plain ol' vanilla and chocolate ice cream....
Oh, come on! Look at the Starburst glass as half full, not half empty. At least Mrs. C gave you your own (though tampered-with) bag. It's not like she put it on the kitchen counter under a towel.
ReplyDeleteMy husband loves Gummy Bears but doesn't like the white ones - he tries to pawn all the whites off on the Grands. Also, I only like curled chips, so now the Grands hand them over if they get curled ones. So, I see where Mrs. Cranky is coming from. We are all nuts, it seems.
ReplyDeleteVery funny, but that's a lot of little chicklets to shove around on the kitchen counter.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if you soaked those extra lemon Starbursts in vodka...would that make limoncello?
ReplyDeletemy mother would have said, 'dirty pool!'
ReplyDeleteCatching up reading some posts today. I needed a laugh to start the day and knew I could rely on your posts. :) This reminds me of the time I handed the hubby an entire bag of green MM's just to test that theory.
ReplyDeleteStar bursts are candy crack. But that was a funny gag she played on you. Classic.
ReplyDeleteYou two are just too funny. Still waiting for the Cranky pilot. Her method of portion control almost worked. You have to admit living with her is in no way boring.
ReplyDeleteStick with real candy.....chocolate!
ReplyDelete