STUPID HEADLINE 051516
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| And that is why I prefer dogs! |
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
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Homicide Victims Rarely Talk To Police* – This
was the result of a three year study.
Florida man shoots, kills brother in beef over cheeseburger –
A “Where’s the beef,” beef.
Virginia
girl without hands wins handwriting contest – Competitive
parents challenge results on a technicality! (Seriously,
she used her elbows to write… amazing.)
Scientists
believe they have found a cure for pedophilia – Penisectomy!
Feds need public help collecting coyote poop – WTF!
Is Washington running out of bullshit?
After a 48-day coma, Army
veteran shocks family with first words 'I want Taco Bell' – Turns out he was asking for a
cowbell, which is even stranger.
Feds
pay researcher to have bee sting his penis* – I am going
to guess that he did not have a happy ending.
Pope says he's willing to study whether women can be
deacons – But only if they are called
Deaconettes.
'Fat
activist' lectures college kids on 'thin privilege' –
The lecturer has a Masters
in Human Sexuality—with a focus on the “intersection of body size, race and
gender” …I’ve been a smoker, I’ve been a drunk and I’ve been fat, all are things
you can change, stop being a bloody (for you Sarah) victim!
HS lacrosse players accused of killing guinea pig, painting faces with
blood – What is it about lacrosse players? BTW, they lost 16-6.
Former VP Dan Quayle endorses Donald Trump for President – “Trump
and the Presidency go together like steak and a potatoe.”
Woman
arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurant – I got nothing…this is from the article - One customer
adds, “I couldn’t breathe. I knew she was in there blasting fudge
monkeys, but the smell was toxic. This woman is a monster; human beings are not
capable of something so foul.”
The first responding firefighters had to go in with oxygen tanks. “Never in my 30 years on the job have I seen anything so rancid,” states the Fire Chief. “It was dangerous sending my guys in there, but we had to rescue the 200+ people trapped and unable to move. These men are heroes.”
The first responding firefighters had to go in with oxygen tanks. “Never in my 30 years on the job have I seen anything so rancid,” states the Fire Chief. “It was dangerous sending my guys in there, but we had to rescue the 200+ people trapped and unable to move. These men are heroes.”
*Thx to Fraternity
brothers Frog and Marty for SH submissions.
____________________________
Come back next week for more:
The world is weird.
ReplyDeleteI think I have a better cure for pedophilia than a penisectomy. A headectomy. Once you remove their head, a pedophile can't wreak any more havoc or heartache...
ReplyDeleteOh the last one. Really? How is that possible?
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
A 3 yr. study on homicide victims not speaking?? Hahahaha.- The feds should come here. They can have all of the coyote poop they want! - No to the women deacons. It's bad enough we have altar girls now. Ugh. Tradition. Can we just keep a little bit of it?
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to be the first woman Pope, but since I'm not Catholic those prejudiced archbishops wouldn't even consider me!!
ReplyDeleteWhere do you get these?
ReplyDeleteDan Quayle is still in the US?? The one I feel sorry for in woman clearing the restaurant bit is the poor fellow that probably at one time had to go home with her. Pretty sure he is now where I thought Dan Quayle was.
ReplyDeleteFascinating stuff as only you can present it!
ReplyDeleteOh my . . .
ReplyDeleteholy mackerel! So amazingly silly.
ReplyDeleteLOL on your cure for pedophilia!
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is...the Feds could probably have found a guy who would let a bee sting his penis for FREE. Always wasting our tax dollars...
ReplyDeleteWait a minute - they ARRESTED the stinky-poop lady?!? I mean, I get it - stinking up a public restroom is obnoxious (and, you know, just plain noxious). . . But. . . stink-bombing a public john is something you can get ARRESTED for?!?
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm wondering if the bee-sting-penis guy is some kinda 'holistic' penis-enlargement thing. . . Bet that'll make Mr. Happy swell right up. . .