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Monday, November 23, 2015

WOMEN AND “DATES” - a cranky re-run

This cranky re-run is from November 2011

Women put a great deal of importance on dates.  They know all the “important” dates, not just Holidays.  Women know birthdays, the date someone passed away, and anniversaries of every type.  Women remember every anniversary.  They remember Wedding anniversaries, first date anniversaries, one month “anniversaries” six month “anniversaries”, the anniversary of their first kiss, there is not a date that women will not remember.

Men remember holidays.  They remember their wedding anniversary (well maybe not the first one) and they sometimes even remember their wife’s birthday.  Beyond those special days men place very little importance on “dates.”

I sort of know my children’s birthdays.  Matt and Mary Beth were born around Labor Day.  Labor Day changes every year so remembering the exact date is just not fair.  Mike was born at the end of June.  Hmmm…thirty days has September, April, May, and (or is it June).  Mike was born either June 30 or June 31.  Spencer was born in early February, the eighth or ninth.  I think.  My brother Chris was born one day before my birthday, so that one is easy.  My brother Jim was born in the summer….I think the fifteenth of one of the summer months. I am not sure of my mother’s birthday, or my father’s birthday, or their wedding anniversary, or the days they passed away.

Most women are horrified by men’s not knowing these various dates.  They associate not knowing or caring to remember dates as not caring about the person.  “You don’t care enough to even remember ……..”

I assure you, I love all my children and grandchildren.  I know they were born, I remember their first words and their first steps.  I remember their successes and their failures.  I care.  I just don’t remember the dates.

I loved my parents.  I just could not tell you when they were born or when they passed away.  I was sad when they passed away.  I am sad today when I think of them.  I don’t remember those dates, I assure you I care.

Women get angry that men forget important dates.  The truth is men don’t forget these dates, we never knew them in the first place.  When each of my children was born, the moment was seared in my memory.  The date?  Not so much. 

Women, please stop the “date” hysterics.  Stop the smugness because you remember the exact date.  Caring to remember a date is not a measurement of caring.  I will bet any amount of money that my ex-wives could tell you the exact day and time our divorces became official.  I have to stop and think of the year.  I assure you I care about the event; I just don’t put much importance on the when. 


  1. It's a female thing, this remembering of dates.
    No matter how much some people exclaim there are no differences, we are all equal etc, they're wrong.
    We aren't equal and never will be. There will always be things that women do better than men (dates) and things that men do better than women, for instance a lot of men seem to be natural born drivers. Put a 12 year old boy in a car and he knows how to drive it, that sort of thing.

  2. Ouch!...I'm guilty, too.

    " men don’t forget these dates, we never knew them in the first place. Love it. I'm gonna use that one! (Think I could sleep on your couch? ;)

  3. I like what you said and it would make sense to me, except for how do men always know so many sports stats?

    1. We care about the event, not the date of the event. I could tell you the score and who missed the FG when the Giants beat the Bills in the Superbowl, but I don;t remember the year.

  4. Not only do women remember birthdays, etc, they recall all the insignificant dates as first meeting, first date, first kiss, date meeting parents, date proposal, and it goes on and on. (And they expect presents on each and every one) hahahaha Women are somewhat "idiot savant."

  5. Trust me, i don't remember the dates, either, i have to write them down. Sweetie, now he remembers dates. It's not a male/female thing, it's whether your brain is set to remember these things or not.

  6. I have a niece who I call the "keeper of the dates". She remembers when she started school here and there, when she started taking flute lessons, etc. (she's in her mid 20s). I got the important dates down; hubby has them written down when he needs them; that's good enough for me :)


  7. I remember the ones that are important to me. But I've come to learn that men are just not that same beast. But then there's what Bijoux said..

  8. You've got me worried now. I think Hubs and I did swaps when we got married 'cause now he's the one with the memory for dates and I'm the one that writes them in the diary. Maybe I wear jeans too often!!!!!

  9. Hubby remembers dates and most of the time I don't. I'm terrible at dates and he's terrific at remembering dates. So I guess we have things backwards here.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

  10. This post is spot on. My Mrs. C. is always saying things like, "Today is the anniversary of our first kiss." I only recall a handful of dates and the anniversary of our first kiss isn't one of them.

  11. As long as you remember your & Mrs. Cranky's wedding anniversary, I'm pretty sure she'll let you live!!

  12. I think Jenn and I got swapped on this, too. I'm blessed with a really good memory (altho there are times I'm not so sure it isn't a curse). I remember not only our wedding anniversary, but all eight of our kids' birthdays, and their middle names. If I think about it, I can probably get most of their confirmation names, and maybe their godparents. Nah, probably not their godparents. . .

    I still remember our family's phone number from our house Up North that we haven't lived in for over 40 years (and my HS girlfriend's phone number, just for good measure), and I can tell you all six of my siblings' birthdays, and my parents wedding anniversary, too.

    I also remember the birthdays of both of my girlfriends before I met Jenn, no matter how hard I've tried to forget them. And believe me, I've tried to forget them; it just sends the wrong message to my Beloved Wife to mention that next Thursday is Old Girlfriend's birthday (see, that's the 'curse' part. . .)

  13. I used to be deadly accurate on dates, old telephone numbers, street addresses and the like. But I find, as I sink gratefully into old age, that my memory isn't as good anymore. Certainly not as good as Donald Trump's, apparently.

  14. I'm satisfied as long as my husband remembers NOT TO DATE!