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Sunday, May 24, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 052415


STUPID HEADLINES 052415
It’s time again for


 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 

 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

One headline may be fake.  Guess the fake and win a mention and a WHOOP-TEE-DOO.  None of the above may be a correct answer.

Comment moderation is on for one day.

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Nigerian restaurant shut down for serving human flesh – People got suspicious when the menu had Filet Moulinyan and Croquettes de Caucasian.

Al Sharpton’s daughter reportedly sues NYC for $5M after spraining ankle – At least she waited until after she sprained her ankle to sue.

Why do men exist? Scientific study offers an explanationTurns out that without men women can’t reproduce which does not work out very well for the continuation of any species. 

Out of 136 online dates, this woman gets no second dateWoman scientist is apparently too busy studying why men exist.

Walmart's profits hurt by wage hike for employees – Pissing off the stock holders makes it official, now EVERYBODY hates Wal-Mart!

Wisconsin police woman claims abduction by aliens - Cop in saucer?

Michigan police clock speeder doing 153 mph in Dodge station wagon – Apparently the kids were late for school.

More sex can make you less happy – Especially if it is your partner and someone else.

Teacher Arrested for letting Students Have Sex in His Classroom – Crap, we couldn’t even chew gum!

US sending 1,000 rockets to boost Iraqi forces in ISIS fight – Rockets! That is quite a boost.  Wouldn’t they be more mobile in tanks and humvees?

Why we should beware of the number 2,147,483,647 – It doesn’t scare me; in fact I have always considered this to be my lucky number.

Capitol Police set for toilet training after breaking ‘rule number one,’ leaving guns in lavatories – This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for number one…but how do you leave it in the bathroom?

California busts $14M scheme to bring cans, bottles in from Arizona for recycling – “NEWMAN!!”

Semi Crash Spills Millions of Bees On Washington Highway – Good thing it wasn’t a full crash!

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Last week’s fake was:

Nebraska man has pinky toe transplant to replace injured ear – He is still deaf on that side, but complains of hearing “wee wee wee” on his way home.

AND THE WINNERS:


I think it would take a big toe to replace an ear, not a pinkie toe.


sheesh. i got nuttin... gonna choose pinky-toe for ear replacement, crank.


To Nebraska man has pinky toe transplant to replace injured ear, I say, "What?"


I am going with "Nebraska man has pinky toe transplant to replace injured ear" for this week. It would make a really cool ear.


I have to take the Pinky Toe Ear as fake. They're not even similar! It's not like a big toe becoming a thumb, or growing a fake ear under the skin of your forearm. I know that can be done, but I've never seen a pinky toe ear. It won't know whether to secrete wax or toe jam!


I'm gonna say the pinky toe; I've heard of big toes being transplanted for thumbs, but a pinky toe and and ear. . . they don't match up. . .


Nebraska man has pinky toe transplant to replace injured ear is my pick. It doesn't even make sense Cranky.

ONLY 4 PEOPLE GUESSED WRONG

Go visit all the winners and tell them this one was too easy!

COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

16 comments:

  1. I think it's Wisconsin police woman claims abduction by aliens, unless she was trying to arrest them for going faster than the speed of light!!

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  2. I hope the Wal-Mart one is true...those poor employees deserve a raise! I'm gong to guess the Nigerian one because if that isn't fake...ewwww!

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  3. Hilarious commentary! Please, I hope it's the human flesh lunch.

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  4. I linked you to Silly Sunday as always. I'll be back later to make my pick.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  5. Nigerian restaurant shut down for serving human flesh – This one must be false because Nigerians don't have a enough meat on their bones to make a good meal.

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  6. truly hope nigerian restaurant is fake.

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  7. I think it could be this
    Why we should beware of the number 2,147,483,647
    and
    lmao at your response It doesn’t scare me; in fact I have always considered this to be my lucky number.

    Have a sillytastic Sunday :-)

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  8. I cheated a bit, so I can't compete. But I have always said that Michigan peeps drive faster than most.

    Husband guessed the flesh meals. He doesn't have a blog, but he is a news junkie.

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  9. I can only hope it is the Nigerian restaurant shut down for serving human flesh. BBQ's in the jungle maybe but in a restaurant???

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  10. I'm going with 'None of the Above' this week. I think all these are true.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  11. Hmm. The ones that seem most outrageous include some that I've come across, leaving me to conclude that logic is not going to help. So I'm going with "none of the above."

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  12. I am going with none of the above this week. Sad thing is they all sound true to me.

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  13. As much as I want to pick human flesh...I'm going with the California Can Scam as fake. Since when do recyclers care where their materials come from? They have to be making money, or they wouldn't be paying for the goods.

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  14. Oh my...I hope to God the one about the Nigerian restaurant is fake!

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  15. "Walmart's profits hurt by wage hike for employees"

    First, the good news: Walmart employees will now make $15 an hour. And the bad news: They are only keeping 500 on the payroll. And you thought the checkout lines were long and slow before?

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  16. I think it's "Michigan police clock speeder doing 153 mph in Dodge station wagon" cause a Dodge station wagon can't go that fast. Can it?

    ReplyDelete

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