Dating Lessons
When I was
but a young lad and wanted to impress a young lady, I always dressed my
best. I showered, applied several layers
of deodorant, splashed on gobs of aftershave, and slicked my hair down so it
wouldn’t move out of place.
I would wear
my favorite shoes with my favorite pair of socks, my favorite shirt and my
favorite pair of pants.
Sometimes I
would not see that young lady again.
If I did win
a second date I would first be told,
“Its, going to be cool out, so don’t worry
about…you know…the heat and stuff, and we will be inside so you won’t need much
aftershave, and I like your white socks and the striped shirt and those plaid
pants, but I’ll bet you’d look nice with dark socks and a solid shirt.”
If the young
lady really liked me, by the third date she might say,
“Listen, go light on the deodorant, I hate ‘English
Leather’, never wear white socks with long pants, stripes and checks make you
look like a clown, and for crap sake, stop with the grease and let your hair be
natural! You don’t have any sisters do you?”
I learned that if I wanted a fourth date I'd damn well better follow directions.
I'm thankful that I never really got into the whole dating game thing. I really didn't have a clue. Then my mum and "his" mum arranged that we should meet at a dance one summer evening. After that they managed to arrange a wedding. I just went along with it all. Being excrutiatingly shy, how else was I ever going to meet anyone?
ReplyDeleteSince you are now married, you learned your lesson well!
ReplyDeleteThe sisters part cracked me up. I know my oldest daughter gave my son some Do's and Don'ts before his first date.
ReplyDeleteI guess you needed a sister. They even instruct each other, and all their friends.
ReplyDeleteAnd there was me thinking you must have looked good... shows how much I know about male dressing!
ReplyDeleteHa, glad you were flexible. That was my problem: no sisters to help!
ReplyDeletethanks for the laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteMe too losing it at the sisters remark. Too funny and it seems you learned all your lessons on the fly.
ReplyDeleteWell, they were all right you know. I agree with those gals.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
At least you learned, right?? Admire the dates for their boldness too to say what they wanted and didn't want in how you presented yourself for dates.
ReplyDeletebetty
I recall dating a number of fellas who looked (and smelled) like that. (Only I LOVED the scent of English Leather.)
ReplyDeleteYep, if you'd had sisters, THEY would have beaten you down before any other gals had the chance. :)
Ahh...this post should be made available for all young me.
ReplyDeleteYou apparently did SOMETHING right--Mrs. C is your third wife!!
ReplyDeleteHah! Fishducky said what I was thinking!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, it's hard for young men to figure out young women, isn't it? And, oh yeah, it goes the other way, too.
Excellent illustrative photo :)
Everyone should go easy on the aftershave, perfume, and cologne in general--I wish they taught that in kindergarten. Half of the people who come into our office smell like they have bathed in their fragrance of choice. And if you're allergic to the chemicals in pretty much all perfumes and colognes, etc., it means you have to leave the office because you cannot breathe.
ReplyDeleteI Agree with Mich above me about cologne/perfume. I seen a very eloquent statement about it once. "A scent should be discovered, not announced."
ReplyDeleteUsually though I slip and say something along the lines of 'Dayum! I know that's your cologne, but must you BATHE in it?" Yeah, I'm not too good about being subtle...
Geez. I'd rather be dateless.
ReplyDeleteYou mean there are rules about dressing?
ReplyDeleteGlad I don't have to date anymore!
Even YOU could give tips to my 17-year-old son! Because you knew enough to WEAR socks, and not go barefoot in black Adidas slides, with your tan slacks, in the snow.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, I dated a guy in high school who wore pants very similar to the ones in that photo…..
ReplyDelete