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Thursday, May 21, 2015

DRIVING MRS. CRANKY


DRIVING MRS. CRANKY

A year ago, I posted about the fact that Mrs. Cranky does most of the driving in our relationship.


Today I drove and it reinforced why I prefer to ride shotgun.

The other day I sat on my glasses.  I have recently lost a few pounds, but not enough to sit on my glasses.  They are toast.  Today we went to the eye place to get a new pair.

Because the previous day I was at the golf course, my car was in the driveway behind Mrs. Cranky’s big stupid SUV.  She will not drive my Wrangler, so instead of rotating cars, I drove to the eye place.  It was a twenty minute drive that we barely survived as a couple.

Mrs. Cranky knows every road in New Jersey, but she gives stupid directions.

“Where is this place?”

“Just go like you are going to the bowling alleys.”

As we reached the turn for the bowling lanes, she tells me,

“Just keep straight till you get to the Dunkin Doughnuts.”

“Where is that?”

“Just go straight.”

“Wait, is that it just before the stop light.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me to go to the stop light?”

“Just turn left at the light!”

“Is this the place in Somerset?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me to go towards the golf course and then turn left at 27, not right?”

“I thought that would confuse you.”

“Ok, so I turn left at 27 then where is the eye place; which strip mall?”

“I’ll let you know.”

Drive… drive…drive…

“Turn right where the silver truck is.”

“What silver truck.”

“The one ahead. TURN!”

“I don’t see…”

“HERE, TURN RIGHT HERE IN THE STRIP MALL.”

“Jesus, why didn’t you just say ‘Turn into the strip mall up just ahead’?”

 “I thought you could see the silver truck.”

I turn into the strip mall.

“I’m here because I broke my glasses, remember.  I have trouble seeing a silver truck, especially if I don’t know if it is on the road or in a strip mall parking lot, if it is a big truck, or an SUV, if it is really silver, or silverish; Even without glasses I sure as hell can see a strip mall!”

“Just park the damn car.  This is the last time I let you drive…JERK!”

At least we both agree on that.

18 comments:

  1. LOL :) I always prefer when hubby drives. I think it is safer that way :)

    betty

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  2. I am a good driver and I don't care who knows it.... but hubby - well, you said it all really. No couple should be in a car together!!

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  3. It's taken a while, but i have to just stay quiet when Sweetie drives. Especially if he's talking to his brother while driving.

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  4. I know every road in New Jersey, too, and they aren't pretty. The only way to drive in New Jersey is to know every lane you will use from start to finish. Sadly, many people who drive in New Jersey don't.

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  5. I'm an excellent driver, I just get lost a lot.

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  6. Hubby drives and now I just read a book and not watch what he's doing. It sure is far easier on our relationship. Far easier.

    I love your adventures, but they pretty much all end in JERK.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  7. The most fun I have is when someone wants to know how far it is to somewhere, but asks how long it takes to get there.

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  8. I'm with you on this one, Cranky. She may also be directionally dyslectic. I know Mrs T is.....

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  9. o.m.g.... 'just drive, i'll let you know.' oh, HELL no! :)

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  10. You guys need your own show. I'd sure watch.

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  11. Of course it makes more sense to chauffeur your designated driver around on the way to the eye doctor after you've broken your glasses, rather than simply moving your Wrangler out of the way while she backed her SUV out of the driveway.

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  12. I'm surprised she let you drive with no glasses.

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  13. My husband does most of the driving, while I get to play around with the Garmin and tell him where to turn. It gets only difficult when we switch roles...

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  14. Sounds entertaining. The Mrs. would much rather drive and make me deal with the little kid needs and squabbles that go on during trips. I definitely earn my dad check on those days.

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  15. I am not good in giving directions either. My husband thinks that I have no sense of direction.

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  16. When my husband was married before, he was driving and asked his wife to let him know if a car was coming from the other direction (he was turning left out of a parking lot). She said, "No." He started to turn, then she said, "But there's a truck."

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  17. Why are you driving when you can't see properly?
    Tut Tut.

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  18. You were dancin' with the devil mister :)

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