Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Mr. and Mrs. Cranky are spending the week in Disney World. Mrs. Cranky loves Disney and is a Disney Club Member. This week we took the Pa. Cranks and their two Crankettes. My DIL loves Disney.
Surprise, surprise, this cranky old man does not love Disney. It is not the worst place in the world, but to me a visit is one notch below eating glass on my top ten list of things to avoid. I have learned, however, that it is best to just go and try to keep a happy face, or at least keep the bitching and moaning to a minimum.
This year, when Mrs. C and the DIL put their heads together, I realize that this Disney thing is no simple trip. NFL teams put less planning into their next game than these two put into Disney planning.
I don’t pretend to have any idea what they talk about, I just get up when they tell me, go where they tell me and follow them around the park as best I can. DIL came with a several page game plan. Each day is broken down into color coded blocks with where we will be and what we will be doing at any given time. We have to cover four different parks, with hundreds of rides and shows.
We have wrist bands to buy stuff and verify fast passes. Fast passes allow you to skip ahead of long lines. We get three a day and how they are used involves a great deal of strategy. Time of day, day of the week, popularity of the ride and distances to restaurants and transportation all play a role in the strategy. Often fast pass decisions are changed via a phone app on the fly; it is kind of like changing a play at the line of scrimmage in football. I let Mrs. C and DIL handle all of that. They argue and debate, but I think it is part of the Disney fun.
To enter the park we can use our wrist bands, but we have “hoppers” from last year on the wrist bands that don’t expire, so we use a card which has day passes which do expire. That is all I know about that, I’m afraid to learn any more.
I have to cut this short, I’ve just been informed that we will be up tomorrow at 6:00 so we can get to the Animal Kingdom and grab the Safari trip when the park first opens. If we avoid the crowds we can save a fast pass for another ride. I need to get my rest; it looks like a difficult day tomorrow. Safari, “It’s a bugs Life,” Dino world, a Bird Show, lunch, “Nemo the Musical,” a river rapids ride, a roller coaster, and a few more events. It is all carefully timed. There will be no delay, no loitering, only three bathroom breaks all timed to be as we pass restrooms on the way to the next ride. I saw the time line, I’ve seen the map. It all looks very complicated. I’m just going to lace up my sneakers and follow the leaders, Captain Mrs. Cranky and Lieutenant DIL.
It is that or pass the glass and eat up.